Blue Sun Room FICTION - DRAMA

Patients

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Dr. Simon Tam has patients to take care of.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3071    RATING: 8.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Patients

Stormwolf

Simon locked the door of the small clinic before turning on his heel to head back to the home of the widow who had taken them in. The sun was setting on the eastern horizon and the lights of the town were flickering on to compete with the coming darkness. Shrugging into his jacket to ward off the cold, Simon thought of the hot meal that awaited him at the widow Johnson’s home. Around him the citizens of the well-armed settlement greeted him kindly as they made their way to their homes. Simon smiled at them, and greeted them with nods of the head or spoken words.

As he continued on to the widow Johnson’s place, he ignored the blackened remains of a few buildings that he passed. The damage was recent and crews were still clearing out the wreckages.

Finally, Simon made it to the widow’s place. In front of the house was a vegetable garden that the widow had been unable to weed before she took in her guests. Now the garden was weed free and had even been pruned when needed. Simon’s mouth watered at the thought of the fresh vegetables that would no doubt be a part of the meal that awaited him inside the house.

Just inside the house, Simon removed his shoes and placed them on a mat beside the doorway next to two pairs of familiar combat boots. He then removed his jacket and hung it on a peg, then called out to the widow and her other two houseguests telling them that he was back.

The widow stepped out of the kitchen. Mrs. Johnson was an older woman in her late 70’s with her white hair tied up in a bun and a pair of glasses perched on her nose. She was a big woman, not thin and fragile looking. She smiled at Simon. “Your just in time doctor, just pulled the biscuits out of the oven.”

Simon smiled back at the woman who had offered to take in the doctor and his two long-term patients. The small amount of money he made from working at the clinic taking the place of the doctor who was healing from a gunshot wound in the belly helped to buy foodstuffs from the local gener

Comments
ANONYMOUS
Thursday, 27 October 2005 03:33
Sure'n'all, I wouldn't mind a sequel or a prequel to this.
ANONYMOUS
Thursday, 27 October 2005 15:56
This was good writing- the thought of Jayne broken made me sniffly-
Thursday, 27 October 2005 15:58
! Jayne is such a hero. He so would do that.

Poor Jayne.
Thursday, 27 October 2005 19:21
*whimper* jayne...!

b
Thursday, 27 October 2005 20:20
*whimpers* You broke Jayne.
Fix him! Fix him right now!

Please tell me that the rest of the crew survived and is coming back! Even if you're lying...
Thursday, 27 October 2005 21:04
I think this one was better than your last story, I feel like you used the characters better, but still really dark. I like it but can't tell were it starts and ends, more??
CUB
Thursday, 27 October 2005 21:23
A lot of writers overlook the basics of sentence structure. Yours is solid, and your storytelling benefits because of it.

I did spot a couple of punctuation errors, though, and I also wouldn't mind a little less reflection and a little more immediacy.

Keep writing.
ANONYMOUS
Thursday, 27 October 2005 23:19
This goes especially well with the recent "Death of the Spirit" stories on firefly.populli.org .
Monday, 31 October 2005 04:42
Very shiny, Storm, for all that it IS dark, just like you warned me it would be. I'm like the critic who orders you to fix Jayne since you broke him. Do it, please! You can't leave us like this, can you? Favorite line: "a psychic bond with a broken mercenary would be the key to stabilizing her." The worst thing about this story is that you haven't written more to feed our imaginations. Write, on, McStorm.
ANONYMOUS
Thursday, 23 March 2006 02:08
I read this over at the firefly glow archive and left a comment, which I'll repeat here: please, please write more of this. I am so curious to see how you are going to deal with the broken mercenary. My own imagination isn't nearly enough to come up with the continuation of this. We need you to finish it. Hurry!
ArtemisPrime

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