Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss Whedon. I only play with them because I love them.

It would be better to read this story in one go, but it is rather long so I've split it into parts. Not very well.

THE WEDJAT EYE: PT 1

The nightmare was always the same, every night since that bounty hunter had gotten onto his boat. Just about the worse thing he could imagine playing in his head night after night. Kaylee pinned down and struggling under him, trying to fight him off but not strong enough nor vicious enough to succeed. He had covered her with his powerful muscled body and was forcing himself onto and into her, deaf to her pleas and and blind to her tears. Sweet, trusting Kaylee learning to hate and fear. As her screaming got louder and louder, the pain in Mal's heart became so intense he awoke with a start. He sat bolt upright in bed, feeling sick to his stomach.

Heavy with sleep and disgust, he went over to the sink unit and yanked it out from the wall. He bent down to splash cold water over his face as if he could wash the hideous images from his mind. As he stood back up again, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. The face that looked back was pale and haunted. The dark circles under his eyes were deeper than ever and there were tight lines around the corners of his mouth. Almost not his face at all. A flash of self-hatred seared through him. What the hell was the matter with him?

Because in his nightmare, it wasn't Jubal Early violating Kaylee. It was him. Mal. The man she had on a pedestal. The man who called her his mei-mei kept having these vile dreams about hurting her. Because in sleep he couldn't escape the truth. If she had been raped it might as well have been him doing it. It would certainly have been his fault. When he took her on as ship's engineer she'd seemed so young and vulnerable he had made himself a vow keep her safe. But when it had mattered, he had failed her. Couldn't even protect her from one man on his own boat.

He gasped in a lungful of air, feeli