Disclaimer: 'Firefly' and these characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Universal Pictures (may their bank balances increase). I'm just keeping them warm until the Big Damn Movie is released.

PAYMENT IN KIND

“She wou'n't ever agree to it,” Jayne declared, spitting onto the sandy ground by way of emphasis as he and Mal lugged the heavy crates back to Serenity. “No way!”

Mal pursed his lips and nodded confidently. “Oh, but I think she will.”

“Service crew members? You're crazy. Ain't she got some kinda rule against that?”

“Well, yeah. But rules are meant to be broken. I reckon I can get her to reconsider.”

Jayne looked at Mal and weighed up the odds. Man was big and brawny and, without doubt, the top dog on his ship. Had a thing about respect and honour. And wa'n't totally hideous about the face. Women went for that kind of package. If anyone could do it, Mal could.

“No chance!” he decided. “And I'm bettin' a month of laundry duty on it.”

*****************************

“I can't believe you're doing this again. Taking another absurdly long route that prevents me from making appointments with clients. I thought we had an agreement.” Inara was managing to stop her voice from rising angrily, but there was a hard edge to her tone which revealed she was far from happy.

Mal raised his eyebrows and opened his eyes innocently wide, grinning amiably. “If you're trying to suggest I'm interferin' with your whorin'...” He really ought to get himself a new hobby but baiting Inara was such fun.

“Stop it! You may not approve of my profession...” She ignored the Hell-you're-right-there look on his face. “..but you like taking the rent money for my shuttle. What does that make you? Some kind of pimp?”

Oh this was priceless! He knew he'd riled her when she stooped to personal insults. Assuming a fierce expression he snapped “I ain't the one sellin' my body” and turned on his heel to exit the shuttle. “And talking of rent,” he shouted over his shoulder as he left, “Yours falls due in t