Disclaimer: Firefly, the characters, a lot of the dialogue – all Joss'. The strange interpretation? Mine.

WARNING – Spoilers for “Trash”.

RATING – R . For thoughts rather than deeds.

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TRAUMA MEDICINE..

Chapter 15: The real me.

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All the colour has drained from Wash's face. He stares at his wife, wondering if he knows this woman at all. “Okay – skating right past the part where you got into his bed - he did what ?”

Zoe squeezes both his hands in hers. “He hit me,” she says quietly, surprised at the mixture of sorrow and shame the admission causes her. “But it wa'n't all his fault, Wash. I shou'n't've ... We'd been drinkin' ... We were ...”

Wash stands up, his body more tense than she's ever seen it. “I don't give a good gorram about all that, Zoe! That tamade hundan hit you!” The tendons in his neck stand out as he clenches his jaw and fists. “And you never told me! Does Mal know that? Or is he going around thinking I know what he did but I'm too much of a ji bai to do anything about it?” He's shaking now.

“We ain't never discussed it, baobei ,” Zoe says softly.

“What? Never? You mean he never even apologized?” The disbelief takes Wash's voice up an octave.

“You know Mal – not much of a talker,” Zoe shrugs, rememberin'. Even after all these years, she can still see him, tryin' to sneak out of that bar next mornin', reluctantly draggin' his gaze up from his boots to meet hers when she blocked his way. Still see the pain an' loss and total ruttin' hopelessness in his eyes. She remembers too that, mad as she was at him, her arms ached to pull him close an' comfort him.

“So – you just forgave him!” Wash sounds angrier with her than he is with Mal. “Like it was just another of his screw-ups!”

“Not exactly.” She gives her husband a wicked little grin. “I hit him back.”

“You did?” A slow smile begins to creep over his face - because that sounds more like the Zoe he knows.

“Well, not right then. A fe