Blue Sun Room FILK - FILK
Ballad of Serenity (expanded)
Monday, December 20, 2004
My first post here. One or two new verses for the Ballad of Serenity. Comments and criticisms very welcome.
CATEGORY: FILK TIMES READ: 13123 RATING: 8.0 (G) SERIES: FIREFLY
Ballad of Serenity (expanded version)
(Firefly is the sole creation of Joss Whedon. His genius gives me inspiration)
Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me.
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't comin' back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me.
Leave the men where they lay
They'll never see another day
Lost my soul, lost my dream
You can't take the sky from me.
I feel the black reaching out
I hear its song without a doubt
I still hear and I still see
That you can't take the sky from me.
Lost my love, lost my land
Lost the last place I could stand
There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
And you can't take the sky from me.
Comments
Monday, 20 December 2004 18:12
Not bad, Darkeyes. If fit with the song, and it flowed pretty well. What more ya got?
PYROTIC1
Saturday, 25 December 2004 19:17
pretty good. has a nice ring to it. really speaks alot for the show
Thursday, 30 December 2004 05:26
I like this piece quite a bit. really flows well.
I might suggest a few changes in wording for a better flow, but then again, I am a bit of a perfectionist with the bug of being an editor.
Very nice job.
I might suggest a few changes in wording for a better flow, but then again, I am a bit of a perfectionist with the bug of being an editor.
Very nice job.
Friday, 01 April 2005 05:01
nice to see someone took the time to write the lyrics out great job!
Does Anyone Know who sings the song for the in the main titles of the show?
Does Anyone Know who sings the song for the in the main titles of the show?
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 01 April 2005 21:42
Sonny Rhodes
Monday, 11 April 2005 15:05
that was real pretty.
no power in the verse
xoxox-fredikayllow-xoxox
no power in the verse
xoxox-fredikayllow-xoxox
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 06 September 2005 05:28
I like it alot. it kinda gives a bit more of mal's history, and makes you want to watch the show even more to find out exactly why he's so tortured if you don't already know
ANONYMOUS
Saturday, 17 September 2005 03:38
the "valley" verse has no place here, redo the tension a bit. It slows down too much.
ANONYMOUS
Saturday, 17 September 2005 03:41
Lost my soul, lost my dream, but,
You can't take the sky from me.
You can't take the sky from me.
Thursday, 22 September 2005 12:28
Thanks. That verse does work better now. The old one felt kinda forced and I was never happy with it.
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 19 October 2005 14:24
Ballad of Serenity (expanded version)
Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me.
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't comin' back
Burn the land and boil the sea
There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity.
Leave the men where they lay
They'll never see another day
Lost my soul, lost my dream
You can't take the sky from me.
I feel the black reaching out
I hear its song without a doubt
I still hear and I still see,
Since I've found Serenity.
Lost my soul, lost my dream, but,
You can't take the sky from me.
Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me.
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't comin' back
Burn the land and boil the sea
There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity.
Leave the men where they lay
They'll never see another day
Lost my soul, lost my dream
You can't take the sky from me.
I feel the black reaching out
I hear its song without a doubt
I still hear and I still see,
Since I've found Serenity.
Lost my soul, lost my dream, but,
You can't take the sky from me.
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 19 October 2005 14:25
Balance,spacing & spacey?
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 26 October 2005 05:17
Check this out: http://english.unitecnology.ac.nz/writers/display_story.html?type=Poems&age=9-12&name=Take1
She copyrighted that. Something's not kosher...
She copyrighted that. Something's not kosher...
ANONYMOUS
Saturday, 12 November 2005 05:23
does anyone know where I can get a tab for the song?
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 27 December 2005 17:27
Liked the first one better, Darkeyes. Great work, though. Keep it up.
ANONYMOUS
Monday, 02 January 2006 03:29
It's really good, but the original is better.
Monday, 22 September 2014 08:42
I realize this is a very, very old thread. I know some online fora have rules prohibiting replying to old discussions, but I was unable to determine whether there is such a rule here. (In fact, I failed to find *any* posting guidelines. Maybe I'm just blind.) If such prohibition exists, and I missed it, I do apologize.
I took a couple lines from the excellent lyrics posted above and mixed in some verses that I had composed. My decision not to keep some of the OP's lyrics was merely because they didn't entirely fit with how I personally view Malcolm Reynolds.
I replaced the "Lost my soul, lost my dream" line because I don't feel that Mal is really one to think in terms of his soul. (Nor do I feel that he ever really lost it. He remains loyal to the values he fought for. He still carries that core [er, not Core] belief that the right of an individual to choose to live his or her own life in peace and free from another's rule is inalienable.)
I also felt that the verse about "the black reaching out" with its "song", although pretty, is a little more poetic than the way I would expect Mal to word it.
(Parentheses in the lyrics below indicate pick-up words that fall before the line's meter. I know Joss and/or Rhodes mostly avoided using them, but I'm apparently not one for being that concise. And, so that I'm not swiping credit for someone else's work, I have prefixed the lines with attributions: [J] is Joss, [D] is Darkeyes, [M] is me, Malinger.)
Ballad of Serenity (by Joss Whedon, expanded by Darkeyes & Malinger)
[J] Take my love, take my land,
[J] Take me where (I) cannot stand.
[J] I don't care; I'm still free,
[J] You can't take (the) sky from me.
[M] (The) lives we built (from) dirt and toil,
[M] (They) took from us, (left) poisoned soil.
[M] Shadow's fading (from) mem-o-ry,
[J] (But) you can't take (the) sky from me.
[M] (There) was a time (we) stood our ground,
[M] (A) settler's coat, (our) badge of brown.
[M] (We) could not match (their) guns and greed,
[J] (But they'll) never take (the) sky from me. [modified]
[D] Leave my men where they lay,
[D] (They'll) never see (a)nother day.
[M] (They) fight on still (now) in my dreams,
[J] You can't take (the) sky from me.
[J] (So,) take me out to the black,
[J] Tell them I (ain't) coming back.
[J] Burn the land (and) boil the sea,
[J] You can't take (the) sky from me.
[J] (Now) there's no place I can be,
[J] Since I've found Seren-i-ty.
[J] (And) you can't take (the) sky from me.
[J] You can't take (the) sky from me.
Now for an excessive bit of explanation for the lines I added. . .
I felt that the high value that the community of Mal's early life must have placed on hard work and self-reliance is an important part of his psyche -- thus, the "built from dirt and toil" line.
The "poisoned soil" is an assumption on my part that, before ever using military force, the Alliance would have employed covert sabotage operations to rob homesteaders of their self-sufficiency and, thus, pressure them to seek Alliance aid. (Of course, that would have only strengthen the resolve of the resistance, who became increasingly more organized. . .eventually erupting in a bona fide civil war.)
The "Shadow's fading from memory" line is intentionally ambiguous when sung. To the unfamiliar, it will sound like a reference to escaping the shadows of painful memories that continue to haunt Mal, but most of us will know it's really about the fond memories of his home that are becoming more distant and his dreams of ever recapturing that life gradually slipping away.
"Settler's coat" becoming a "badge of brown" is from my own speculation (maybe it's documented somewhere, but I didn't come across it) that the brown coat did not begin as a uniform, but rather, was merely the ubiquitous, long, sturdy riding coat that
I took a couple lines from the excellent lyrics posted above and mixed in some verses that I had composed. My decision not to keep some of the OP's lyrics was merely because they didn't entirely fit with how I personally view Malcolm Reynolds.
I replaced the "Lost my soul, lost my dream" line because I don't feel that Mal is really one to think in terms of his soul. (Nor do I feel that he ever really lost it. He remains loyal to the values he fought for. He still carries that core [er, not Core] belief that the right of an individual to choose to live his or her own life in peace and free from another's rule is inalienable.)
I also felt that the verse about "the black reaching out" with its "song", although pretty, is a little more poetic than the way I would expect Mal to word it.
(Parentheses in the lyrics below indicate pick-up words that fall before the line's meter. I know Joss and/or Rhodes mostly avoided using them, but I'm apparently not one for being that concise. And, so that I'm not swiping credit for someone else's work, I have prefixed the lines with attributions: [J] is Joss, [D] is Darkeyes, [M] is me, Malinger.)
Ballad of Serenity (by Joss Whedon, expanded by Darkeyes & Malinger)
[J] Take my love, take my land,
[J] Take me where (I) cannot stand.
[J] I don't care; I'm still free,
[J] You can't take (the) sky from me.
[M] (The) lives we built (from) dirt and toil,
[M] (They) took from us, (left) poisoned soil.
[M] Shadow's fading (from) mem-o-ry,
[J] (But) you can't take (the) sky from me.
[M] (There) was a time (we) stood our ground,
[M] (A) settler's coat, (our) badge of brown.
[M] (We) could not match (their) guns and greed,
[J] (But they'll) never take (the) sky from me. [modified]
[D] Leave my men where they lay,
[D] (They'll) never see (a)nother day.
[M] (They) fight on still (now) in my dreams,
[J] You can't take (the) sky from me.
[J] (So,) take me out to the black,
[J] Tell them I (ain't) coming back.
[J] Burn the land (and) boil the sea,
[J] You can't take (the) sky from me.
[J] (Now) there's no place I can be,
[J] Since I've found Seren-i-ty.
[J] (And) you can't take (the) sky from me.
[J] You can't take (the) sky from me.
Now for an excessive bit of explanation for the lines I added. . .
I felt that the high value that the community of Mal's early life must have placed on hard work and self-reliance is an important part of his psyche -- thus, the "built from dirt and toil" line.
The "poisoned soil" is an assumption on my part that, before ever using military force, the Alliance would have employed covert sabotage operations to rob homesteaders of their self-sufficiency and, thus, pressure them to seek Alliance aid. (Of course, that would have only strengthen the resolve of the resistance, who became increasingly more organized. . .eventually erupting in a bona fide civil war.)
The "Shadow's fading from memory" line is intentionally ambiguous when sung. To the unfamiliar, it will sound like a reference to escaping the shadows of painful memories that continue to haunt Mal, but most of us will know it's really about the fond memories of his home that are becoming more distant and his dreams of ever recapturing that life gradually slipping away.
"Settler's coat" becoming a "badge of brown" is from my own speculation (maybe it's documented somewhere, but I didn't come across it) that the brown coat did not begin as a uniform, but rather, was merely the ubiquitous, long, sturdy riding coat that
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