Disclaimer: Firefly and its characters belong to Joss Whedon.

WARNING

Spoilers for “Our Mrs Reynolds.”

Another warning - Mal doesn't just get seduced by a woman in this chapter. There is absolutely nothing graphic, but if the idea of Mal being anything other than utterly straight bothers you, DON'T READ THIS.

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Trauma Medicine: Chapter 10

Some men might take advantage.

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Simon recognizes the sound of Mal's footsteps coming down the hallway - there's a slight unevenness to his footfall that's probably indicative of minor but chronic lower back pain - so he's somewhat surprised to hear Jayne say, “Ah! Here she comes now – my lovely wife.”

“There you are, husband. Been looking for you everywhere.” Mal exclaims, making Simon jerk his head round, wondering what game the two of them are playing. His jaw drops. No, that wasn't surprise before. This is surprise. His eyes widen and then widen some more as he looks the Captain up and down. He's wearing a dress . A soft, cotton dress. Complete with matching floral bonnet. The doctor claps a hand to the back of his neck and gapes.

Mal meets his gaze, grins and does a little twirl. “Like it?”

“No,” Simon says firmly. It's all manner of unsettling, wrong in so many ways.

Jayne laughs and takes Mal by the arm. “He ain't exactly the prettiest creature I've ever seen, but I've bedded worse,” he declares.

Mal slaps his arm. “You, sir, are no gentleman!”

“Stop it!” Simon can't help but snap. His cheeks start to burn when Mal and Jayne stare at him in amazement, and he pushes quickly past them and escapes to the infirmary.

“Wha's up with him?” Jayne asks.

“No idea.”

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Neither their hasty leave-taking of Elder Gommen nor the slight hangover he's suffering is enough to dampen Mal's spirits this morning. Not often a job goes that smooth. And there's that whole having done folks some real good thing to warm his heart. Yup - that went well. Jayne's ridiculously proud