SHADOW (07) Part (03)
Monday, September 5, 2011
As Serenity approaches Shadow, Mal’s nightmares return.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 4230 RATING: 9.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
SHADOW (07)
Part (03)
Follows . Precedes . The series so far: As Serenity approaches Shadow, Mal’s nightmares return. | * * * “No. Ruttin’. Way,” Mal said. “But, Captain, please, reconsider. It’s a one-of-a-kind opportunity. The scientific data that could be gathered are unparalleled anywhere.” There were few things Ip Neumann wouldn’t do to get the Captain to say yes. “I said no. Why are we still talkin’ about this?” “Can’t we be reasonable about this?” “I’m bein’ all manner of reasonable.” “Will you at least inform me of the nature of your objections?” “That I will. You’re askin’ me to authorize a shut-down of artificial gravity as we make the planetary fly-by, correct?” “Yes, Captain, exactly.” As the Captain spoke, Ip realized with some surprise that he had nearly forgotten his first impression of the man at Jack Holden’s office, when the Captain had demonstrated his technical competence in no uncertain terms. He had become more familiar with the Captain, he realized, and his impression of him had drifted from that first encounter. Now he was more accustomed to hearing the Captain grouse and grumble and swear in Mandarin and to the Captain
And poor River, Mal’s nightmares from Serenity Valley to Shadow’s destruction, would have a profound negative effect on her, so sad and poignant illustrated by that tear at the end, it’s like she’s narrating his horrors for us, the reader. It reminds me of the movie.
a darker chapter, but still enjoyed reading
I also have always liked exploring the PTSD and the amount of damage that Mal carries around, and I agree that one of Mal's biggest fears is that there may come a time when he can't be trusted around his crew and passengers. Along with the survivor's guilt, it's probably the big reason he's so hard on himself. And then, the way sometimes his anger gets away from him (another aspect of the PTSD), it reinforces that worry that he might go too far sometime.
And that scene with Inara just goes to show that even though she settles him sometime, she's also the one person who can provoke him the most.
Lastly, I really enjoy how you've moved through Mal's memories of the planet Shadow as a theme in this episode. First the early years and the idyllic look at the way things were, and then the horrific imagining of it's destruction.
And now, because I know there's still one more chapter left in this part, I wonder if they're going to see something unexpected as they get near Shadow?
Good writing.
River’s making an effort, but Mal needs far more than just a few questions to help him get past his PTSD.
Platonist, I don’t mind at all being called “interesting”. Why is Mal running from Inara? It’s complicated. First of all, what Bytemite and m52nickerson said. Part of it is that he simply feels that he screwed up: they were going along fine, he got mad and called her whore, and now he needs to try again, and try to do better this time. Yes, he’s afraid that if he falls asleep in her shuttle, he’ll have nightmares. He’s also afraid that he’ll have a flashback. More than eight years after the war, he’s certainly had flashbacks and nightmares before, and he knows from experience that he tends to react violently. He doesn’t want to hurt her, and he’s not sure he even wants her to see it. He feels that he has some very dark places inside himself, and he’s not anxious to show these to anyone, let alone to the woman who, above all others (and despite everything between them), he wants to think well of him. He feels that he is damaged goods, and broken.
There are three more parts to this story. This is the point at which my nice, tidy 12,000- to 16,000-word stories started ballooning up to 20, 30, 40 thousand words. Shadow is about a 22,000-word story.
Byte: Yep, a lahar might occur during a pyroclastic eruption. But we’re seeing this through Mal’s POV, so he’s basically conflating random bits of volcano lore that he knows from high school and news vids. And maybe he went hiking at New Kilauea or New Mt St Helens or New Iceland, and picked up a few bits from personal observation there ;-) There’s more geology in the upcoming sections—hope you like it.
"You can't take the sky from me!"
Wouldn't it be an interesting twist if River were able to help Mal with HIS psychological issues?
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