"So... does this door have a long-standing vendetta against you?" Simon tended to Jayne's black eye with precise care, his face almost entirely dead-pan. "Or did it just snap and attack you without warning?" The mercenary merely glowered at the doctor from beneath the one unswollen eyelid, and silently pouted. "Not that I'm one to pry into your... affairs. I probably don't want to know what happened."

Jayne shifted his glower to where the opposite infirmary wall met the floor. "Don't see why a man's gotta answer a hunnert damn questions about a simple accident. And! I was doing fine on my own."

"Rummaging through the galley, looking for the closest thing to a steak? Even had you found some natural food on this ship, a steak would do you no good whatsoever. You're lucky I found you; you could have permanently damaged your good looks. And had to rely on your wit and charm." Finishing his examination, he turned to a drawer and removed a small white package.

"Heh, my money'd still be good enough for some pretty curvy thing." The mercenary flashed a shit-eating grin, and chuckled low. "Ain't like any of the women-folk round here are any useful in that regard anyhow."

"Yess... I'm sure any of *them* would've punched out both your eyes."

“Look, you said you was gonna be helpful.” Jayne snatched the small pack out of Simon’s hand. “This what I put on my eyeball?"

“Or as close to it as is comfortable. Until the swelling goes away. And stay away from any shifty-looking doors. Doctor’s orders.”

“Yeah well… it’s already paining me a bit less, so there . So... I’ll... just go get me some chow or somethin’, normal and boring.” The sing-song element to his voice created an awkward moment before he ducked out of the spotless infirmary. Simon sighed, shook off trying to ever understand a Jayne, and went back to taking inventory.

Jayne escaped into his cabin, relieved at the man’s relentless mockery. That was a close one; how could he have been so reckless? Maybe he shou