The Last One to Leave, Turn out the Lights

NC-17, het

DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE PORN

by Mary Kroll, with help from the venerable and reviled WhiteKnight

“Tell me again why we’re in the shower.”

“Ventilation, silly. Shower’s got the best ventilation and filters on the ship.” Kaylee playfully bumped her shoulder against Simon. “And the door lock can only be overridden from the infirmary, so we have the whole thing to ourselves, nice and private-like.”

“And why is Jayne here?”

“’Cuz there ain’t no way sotweed’s getting smoked and I ain’t smoking it,” Jayne said, swiping the cherry-tipped cigarillo from Kaylee’s hand.

“Hey!” she blurted and giggled ecstatically.

Jayne took a long, slow drag and leaned back against the cool wall, eyes closed, holding the smoke in his lungs for a long moment before letting it float out through his barely slack lips. “Oh, yeah,” he rumbled with satisfaction.

“You look like a dragon. Do that again,” Kaylee cooed as she reclaimed the cigarillo and inhaled more briefly than Jayne but with similar enthusiasm.

“In a minute.”

“I’m actually a little surprised by you, Jayne. I wouldn’t have thought that someone who worked on his body so religiously would be smoking sotweed,” Simon opined.

“Little surprised at you, Doc. How’d she talk you into it?”

“She dragged me bodily.”

“I did at that,” Kaylee chirped and made to pass the cigarillo back to Jayne. Barely cracking his eyes open, he pushed her hand back.

“Give Simon some more of that.”

“I’m touched by your generosity, but I’m still good from that coughing fit I had five minutes ago.”

Jayne glanced sidelong at Simon. “Give him some more, little Kaylee. I can’t truck to sober people sitting in.”

Kaylee wiggled on the shower’s slatted bench until she was mostly facing Simon. “It’s easy, Simon. Just close your eyes and take a deep breath…” After a moment’s hesitation, but unable to deny that beaming face any request, he obliged. “Now let it out slowly for at least ten seconds.”