Nobody had been surprised when she’d not used the names chosen.

Not even Kaylee.

Course she’d complained about it.

Said they were such pretty names.

Fancy names.

She smiled, they were fancy names; they were very pretty too.

But they were core world names.

What good would it be to name them Elpis, and Arête?

Crew’d never use them.

The girls would never use them either.

Ellie and Ari were a lot easier to say.

So that’s what she’d named them.

Ellie Mae Washburne and Ari Lee Washburne.

Good names, pretty enough, but still good solid sensible names.

Names the girls would never have cause to be ashamed of.

The first time she’d held them, had been simultaneously one of the happiest and saddest moments of her life.

She’d thought that when this happened it would be Wash that held her hand.

Wash that announced the births to the crew.

Even though they watched the whole thing through the window.

Wash that had cut the cords.

Wash that was the first person beside herself and the doc that held them.

But it was Mal that had done those things for her.

She was glad that he’d been willing to do them.

Glad that he’d been there for her.

It still hurt that Wash wasn’t there for this.

Part of her was angry at him.

So mad that she didn’t know if she could ever bring herself to forgive him.

Mad that he’d gone and died leaving her behind.

She was the one that was supposed to die, if anyone had.

Not him.

She’d never entertained the idea that he would die before her.

Never had to wonder how she would get on without him.

Because if he died the ship would go with him, and by extension everyone else would also be dead.

But she was mad at him for doing this.

For leaving behind his sperm.

For refusing to have a baby with her, but leaving her the means to have a baby without him.

She would never have believed that she could be as conflicted as she was.

Mad at him for dying.

Mad at him for leaving her the babies.

And grateful that