My Life

By Ari Lee Washburn

(“Uncle Simon, how come I have ta write my name on this ‘port? ‘s jus’ me ‘an Ellie and we write differen’ ya know which is which don’cha? An’ how come I gotta write about my life anyhow? You know ‘bout my life.”

Uncle Simon looked up from the article he was reading on the cortex, raised an eyebrow at her,

“Ari, you need to speak properly in class, that means no dropping your g’s and d’s among other things… Please re-phase your questions into proper English.”

Ari rolled her eyes, and sighed.

“Uncle Simon, why do I have to write my name on this report? It’s just Ellie and I, and we both have different writing styles, surely you know which is which? And why do I have to write about my life, you know about my life.”

Uncle Simon gave her a stern look,

“With the exception of the eye rolling and the put upon sigh, that was very good. You have to write your name on your report because it is proper to do so. Yes I am well aware of the fact that the two of you have very distinctive writing styles, and yes I know which style belongs to which girl. The purpose of this assignment is to provide you with an opportunity to practice what I am teaching you. I deliberately chose a topic with which you are intimately familiar so you can concentrate on making sure your spelling is correct, your grammar and punctuation are stellar and your English is proper. Now, enough stalling, start writing.”

Ari sighed again, quietly and waited for Uncle Simon to turn back to his cortex article. When she was sure he wasn’t looking she stuck her tongue out at him, and turned back to her assignment. It was a stupid assignment anyway. Sighing again she started writing.)

My name is Ari Lee Washburn, and I am eight years old. I have a twin sister, Ellie Mae, and she is sixteen minutes older’n me

(Ellie leaned over and looked at her paper, then whispered

“Ari, Uncle Simon said you had to write it in proper English, and saying older’n me isn’t proper, you should say ‘older t