I’m broken. It’s true. I also have entirely too much free time on my hands if I am writing fei oo like this…

Not mine. PG-15 for references to Jayne's lifestyle.

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JAYNE'S FAVORITE THINGS

Knife blades and bullets and pistols and shotguns,

I am the happiest when I have got guns,

Whether it's Vera or Cassie or Boo,

Give me some shit and I'll point them at you...

Brown hats and black hats and hats oh so cunning,

When my foes see me, they all start a’running.

First I take aim and the trigger I squeeze,

Smile to myself as they fall to their knees…

When the job's right,

In a bar fight,

When I'm getting laid,

I simply remember my favorite thing,

An', Darlin', that's gettin' paid!

Blow jobs from Kaylee and hot, stolen kisses,

Stuff from the doc’s room he looks for and misses,

Workouts that make my adrenaline flow,

Muscles I’m all too delighted to show…

Old army jackets and jackets with camo,

Belts for grenades and for guns and for ammo,

T-shirts with pictures and slogans and guns,

So long as they ain’t illustrated with suns…

Eatin’ and brawlin’ and shootin’ and screwin’-

Favorite things that I surely love doin’.

Challenging Mal for control of the ship,

So that we all get our shares from the trip…

When the job's right,

In a bar fight,

When I'm getting laid,

I simply remember my favorite thing,

An', Darlin', that's gettin' paid!