On The Edge: Prologue
Thursday, January 18, 2007
At a recent convention Jewel Staite (Kaylee) and Sean Maher (Simon) told an audience how they thought the second Serenity movie should open; with Kaylee pregnant and the ship crashing. I’ve taken their brief idea and expanded on it. And this story is the result. It is meant to be a sequel to 'Serenity'.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 4017 RATING: 9.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
I don't know how often I'll be updating this. I've been pretty busy, and its still in the process of being beta'd. There are 12 chapters. All but the last one are currently written and the story is about 70 pages, thus far.
Sorry this is so short, but, its meant to start in the middle of the action and draw the reader in.
Thanks to Tamsibling and Mal4Prez for the beta.
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On The Edge: Prologue
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The Present:
“You need to strap in, Kaylee!” Simon called over the roar of the overheating engine. Smoke filled his vision, and only by memorized knowledge of the room did he know exactly where Kaylee was working.
“I gotta fix this, Simon, or the ship’s gonna explode.”
“River can get us to –“
“Simon, bi zui!” Kaylee cried as she pushed her swollen belly against an unmoving piece of metal to get the leverage to turn the dial she needed to reach. “I need ta do this!”
Simon eyed her, and the way her belly was pressed close to very dangerous moving parts. “Kaylee, please. The baby.”
“I’m thinkin’ of my baby, Simon!” Kaylee hissed, sparing a look at him before she went to re-wire something Simon would never be able to recognize, much less help her fix.
“The baby inside you, Kaylee! Our baby!” Simon cried, wiping frantically at the beads of sweat that had begun to drop into his eyes.
River was pushing the ship to its limits and Kaylee had cut off a lot of non-essential systems to give her the power that she needed, including the climate control that would have absorbed the excess heat from the engine.
“Simon, you gotta go back and strap in.”
“I’m not leaving,” he said stubbornly, his voice dropping as he made his stance.
Kaylee looked up at him, her face damp with perspiration and held out her hand.
Their eyes locked, overwhelming, silencing emotion blossomed, charging the air between them and the tension that had been building over the last few months instantly melted away. As he reached for the hand she offered him,
I love this - I've already told you that, months ago when I first read it and a few days ago when I read it again. I think the idea of the ship crashing and Kaylee being pregnant is just the right amount of angst and tension and something that Joss would do completely.
I can't wait to read more!
BEB
(is very jealous that you have 12 completed chapters. i will never learn.)
Very tense. Now will you show us what everyone else is doing in one long tracking shot? LOL. :)
Can't wait for more!
Kaylee pregnant shaving Simon's head, because she thought he was too pretty.
I don't remember them saying anything about the ship crashing... I'm definitely gonna sit down and watch the talks when I finaly get my hands on that con DVD in march...
You can't take the sky from me
I'm am really worried, and really want the next part!
"Their eyes locked, overwhelming, silencing emotion blossomed, charging the air between them and the tension that had been building over the last few months instantly melted away. As he reached for the hand she offered him, for a moment, time stood still –" ------beautiful and poignant. wonderful sentence, it conveys everything to the reader. and then.........
"– And then lurched forward again with a sharp jolt as the explosion behind Kaylee hurled her against Simon’s chest and knocked them both to the deck." ----- ends it just as quickly, jolting the reader out of the time standing still moment as well.
wonderfully written leia, wonderful. and leaves me on the edge of my seat and wanting more. can't wait to read more!!!!
“The baby inside you, Kaylee! Our baby!” Simon cried, wiping frantically at the beads of sweat that had begun to drop into his eyes."---Leia, I LOVE this bit. Nice humor, lovely voices of Simon and Kaylee, dead-on, for how and what they'd say. Good action sequence, very believable.
And here:
“Simon, you gotta go back and strap in.”
“I’m not leaving,” he said stubbornly, his voice dropping as he made his stance.----Dude, goodness abounds. I can see this so clearly, and it ALMOST makes me think Kaylee and Simon are a good pairing. ALMOST.
The ending too, perfect. Loved their clasped hands, gorramit. Grrrr...thanks for making a Jaylee girl (sorta) doubt her convictions. Publish the next parts, beta-ing be danged. Put 'em out there, hear?
“I’m thinkin’ of my baby, Simon!” Kaylee hissed, sparing a look at him before she went to re-wire something Simon would never be able to recognize, much less help her fix. *very good here Leiasky, I can see Simon in conflict.
River was pushing the ship to its limits and Kaylee had cut off a lot of non-essential systems to give her the power that she needed, including the climate control that would have absorbed the excess heat from the engine. *good description of the conditions there too.
And then lurched forward again with a sharp jolt as the explosion behind Kaylee hurled her against Simon’s chest and knocked them both to the deck. *reminds me very much of the opening to Serenity, although much more angsty.
Good prologue here. 70 pages huh? This seems like it is going to be a very exciting story, I'll be looking forward to reading it.
Since you told me about this I've been waiting with baited breath, Great begining, and I can see the shots being planned...wow!
Where is the rest of the story? I can't find it and I'm dying here...
That means I love the prologue. I loved the dialogue about thinking about the baby....Your characterization of both of them is right on!
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