Going Well
Sunday, November 19, 2006
First fic ever, it's Simon/Kaylee. Just a look at what would happen right after Serenity ended, if I continue I'll have some Mal/Inara and even some Jayne/River.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3693 RATING: 9.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Pairing(s): Simon/Kaylee, Mal/Inara, Jayne/River (eventually).
Time Period: Takes place immediately after Serenity.
Rating: PG, Possibly PG-13.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon.
AN: This is my first Fanfic so any and all comments are appreciated, good or bad. I sort of have a few ideas as to what I can do with this, but it’s pretty much just a test to try and get a feel for the characters. Also it is totally un-betad because I don’t have one. Very, very brief.
***
“What was that?” cried a startled Mal as a piece flew off his ship. “Probably nothing, I’ll go ask Kaylee if you’ll take over” stated River knowingly. “Fine just hurry will ya? I’m getting’ a might dreary” replied Mal. With that River got up and headed straight for the engine room, making sure to be very quiet so as not to disturb the, happy couple.
She didn’t know why she was spying up on them. But being both a curious teenager and a bratty little sister she found it an impossible opportunity to pass up. She was happy for her brother and Kaylee, they had finally gotten it right, finally found each other. It had been a matter of waiting for Simon, Kaylee had known how she felt the second she saw him. Simon had felt the same way he just didn’t know it and it took him a little while to realize it; he was such a boob.
***
An hour later Simon and Kaylee had made it to her bunk (with River following them the whole way through the vents), now they were lying contently in each other’s arms. “You’re amazing” stated Simon, a huge smile plastered all over his face. “You ain’t so bad yourself” replied Kaylee. “But I’m not just talking about the sex” Simon at that point realized he might’ve said something wrong “Not that I’m saying that isn’t amazing or anything, just-“.
“Simon sweetie relax, just say what you was gonna say”
Simon nodded, “The way you always find the light out here in the black, no matter what. How you always see through people’s faults, see the good in them” The whole time he was speaking
Nice first try, definitely! I remember posting my first fic. Thought I was going to die from nerves.
Folk 'round about these parts are generous with the praise. They'll also offer honest criticism. Sometimes more than you were hoping for, but it's usually not unwarranted! Live and learn, and keep writing.
Definitely find a beta because a good one will catch all those little errors and polish up what you've already written.
I love the idea that Simon's gotten no better at transfering his thoughts to rolling them off his tongue with any kind of skill. At least Kaylee didn't storm off in a huff....and River..BWAHAHAHA.
As you said, this is unbeta'd, so it's just a little bit rough, but nothing major at all. There's a beta volounteer thread somewhere over in the Blue Sun Room section of the Community Forum, so give that a try. I'm not saying you NEED a beta, but..well, I have two and I still flat out refuse to even post my stuff. They're just good for advice for me, as my grammar is pretty good (not that you'd know).
As I said, this was a great little short piece, especially for a first attempt, and I'd love to see that continuation you were talking about.
good stuff, like it, love the punch line. Mal gets it wrong, as usual.
BornToSky, c'mon. Put something up. Come out and play...
;)
This was a mighty entertain' tale, I have to admit. A tad bit short and paced a bit too quick...and some roughness did pop up, but definitely a fine piece of writing. I especially loved the part where River was thinking on why she was following Simon and Kaylee around when they were trying to have a private moment or two, cuz she is definitely keeping up the role of bratty little sister;)
BEB
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