Scene 1

(Bridge. Alarms sounding)

MAL: This is all manner of not good.

RIVER: Shr ah.

MAL: “Working vacation” she said. (ship takes a hit) “Nice leisurely stopover” she said. (takes another) “Oh, there won’t be any problems”. Excepting pirates. She left out the part about the pirates, you know.

RIVER: Oversight.

MAL: Out run them?

RIVER: Gibu shi.

MAL: Hide?

RIVER: Where?!

MAL: Looks like we’re gonna have to make a stand. You stay here. Be ready to run on my signal.

RIVER: Right.

MAL: (hits com) All available hands to cargo bay. Not you Kaylee, I need you in the engine room. Locked and loaded people, we’ve got unexpected guests dropping in for tea and cookies. (cuts com) Be ready. (Leaves at a trot)

RIVER: (beat) What’s the signal?

(follow Mal down hall as he picks up Jayne in full gear, motions Jayne ahead)

MAL: Zoe, you dancing this one?

ZOE: (from bunk) On my way! Gorram ladder, gorram belly, gorram gravity.

MAL: (over shoulder) Don’t spend too long on your hair, I’m hoping this will be a short set.

ZOE: AND the armor doesn’t close of course.

(follow Mal to catwalk)

MAL: Let’s make a good first impression, we aren’t like to get a second chance. (Simon and Jazmine join them, armed)

JAZ: (looking at Jayne) Couldn’t decide what to wear?

JAYNE: I like to accessorize.

JAZ: Can I borrow your earrings?

JAYNE: No.

JAZ: How ‘bout a grenade then.

JAYNE: What’s the magic word?

JAZ: Qu ni de.

JAYNE: That’s the one! (hands her a grenade)

MAL: You’re not using that in here.

JAZ: Hope not. What kind of idiots decide to mount a raiding party for this lot?

MAL: Ones as don’t know what we’re carrying but are feeling lucky.

JAYNE: Their luck just ran out.

SIMON: I hope the same can’t be said of us. Where’s River?

MAL: Safe in the pilot’s seat where she’ll be of most use.

SIMON: What a pleasant surprise.

MAL: For now.

SIMON: I should have known better.

MAL: Well they’re locked on. Here goes. Smiles everyone.

ZOE: (enters)You weren’t going to start withou