Child’s Play

This is fanfic, and does not count as violating the writers’ strike...especially as the author is not a professional writer, nor in danger of becoming one. All characters and situations are the property and product of whoever thunked them up, no profit has transpired.

*****

Scene 1

(Copia. Farmhouse. Kitchen. Morning after “Cold Sweat” takes place.)

MAL: So, that all makin’ any more sense now?

RIVER: One vital part of the equation remains unresolved.

MAL: And that would be?

RIVER: More coffee.

KAYLEE: One cuppa “think grease”, comin’ right up!

MAL: Anything janglin’ into place? Joggin’ the old brain pan?

RIVER: Cof-fee.

MAL: Right.

KAYLEE: Here you go, sweetie! Pure pick me up.

RIVER: Brother mine, for future reference: that sedative cocktail is effective, but lingers in the system an undesirable interval.

SIMON: It’s all I had on hand.

RIVER: You were expecting a rogue water buffalo?

SIMON: One never can tell when Jayne may get cranky next.

RIVER: Still a touch heavy handed with the Dilautin.

SIMON: Sorry.

MAL: I love a good recipe swap ‘bout as much as the next fella, but could we mosey on back towards the topic here?

RIVER:(closes eyes) I’m working on it.

MAL: Well that’s sure a

RIVER: Shh!

MAL: Shh?

RIVER: Shh!!

MAL: Did she just shush me?

OTHERS: SHHH!!!

MAL: (a long beat) Gettin’ anything?

ZOE: (taking his arm) Out.

MAL: Ai ya!

ZOE: (gently guiding him out of the room) Out.

MAL: My ship.

ZOE: House, not ship.

MAL: My house?

ZOE: Nope.

RIVER: (opens one eye. Sighs, holds up mug hopefully.) Lost it. More coffee?

*****

Scene 2

( Busy colorful corridor outside a berth. The ship belongs to Space Gypsies.)

JAYNE: Your mother in law decide you’re not her favorite after all?

JAZ: Definitely not.

JAYNE: You sure?

JAZ: Trust me, Mrs. Li? We’d be dead.

JAYNE: So who all was shootin’ at us then?

JAZ: We have a little while to figure that out. Get your gear stowed, we’ve got some waves to make.

JAYNE: We gonna make it home