Disclaimer: All characters property of Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Except the ones I made up. I’m not getting any coin. Read at your peril.

Triangulation

Scene 1:

(Bridge)

MAL: It all sounds good, but I think I’ve found a flaw in your plan. Isn’t the Alliance gonna notice if there’s a whole lot of sudden extraneous traffic out rim ways?

JAZ: Good point. Already thought of that, though. Last year or so there’s been a call put out for settlers on several smaller uninhabited planets and moons. Right now an asteroid with a stable orbit’s fair game. Add to that the immigration rate to settled places and a steady birth rate and you’ve got your excuse.

MAL: A year still seems kind of sudden like.

JAZ: That’s why we started out all subtle nigh on four years ago. We were hoping to be sneaky for another decade. Didn’t quite get that wish.

MAL: No such thing as too much time to prepare in my experience.

JAZ: Tell me about it.

MAL: River ‘fessed up about reading you on all this you know.

JAZ: She can still sit?

MAL: (laughs). Don’t think turning her over my knee didn’t come to mind. Seems to think you’re up to good and isn’t sorry much. I reminded her that a captain needs to keep abreast of things.

JAZ: So did you pee on a post to let her know who’s boss?

MAL: No, but if you think it’d help I’ll try it.

JAZ: You’d just encourage Jayne. Better stick to bellerin’.

MAL: MY SHIP!! MINE!

JAZ: (snaps to attention... marginally) Aye, Sir!

MAL: Don’t you forget it woman. (Pulls her in for a kiss)

JAZ: This beats a flogging any day.

ZOE: (enters) Don’t you have a bunk? Two if I recall?

MAL: Have to maintain discipline somehow.

ZOE: If you can spare your cook? I’ve been meaning to have a talk with her.

MAL: (to Jaz) Now?

JAZ: Now. (They separate)

MAL: Whatever you’ve got to say can be discussed in front of me.

ZOE: Hemorrhoids, Sir?

MAL: Or you could chat in private. (moves to exit)

ZOE: Sit down Sir, it concerns you.

JAZ: He has his moments, but he’s not that irritating is