Blue Sun Room FICTION - ROMANCE

What you wish for....

Friday, September 8, 2006

Jayne gets more than he bargained for visiting a brothel. Adult content, also, first submission, so please be kind :)

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3427    RATING: 9.0 (NC17)    SERIES: FIREFLY

Tweet

Jayne Cobb sat in the dark dank bar on Beaumonde and pondered his 3rd glass of what the pissant locals called whiskey. Watered down mule piss would have been a better term, but unless he wanted a one man bar fight, he kept his opinion to himself.

The rest of the crew had found their own distractions, so Jayne was left to his own devices, as Mal had put it he wouldn't be fit in their company that night. It was probably another one of those gorram fancy balls, like the one he'd almost gotten hisself killed at a few months back.... Oh, well, Jayne thought, more bad hooch for him.

What he pondered was across the street; a two-story simple looking house with lots of front windows, red lanterns swinging faintly in the breeze. Not a Companion house, f'sure but, then again, Jayne couldn't afford Companion houses. Even with the coin he'd saved for this - Companions, Janye thought, Gorram seductresses....

The bad whiskey was not making anything clearer, or helping get his mind off things. Why did she echo in his mind like this, over and over, insistent without being direct, burning, without even a flame?

Jayne grabbed this last drink and slammed it down his throat, doing the same to the shot glass. He looked out the window again, saw the lanterns were lit, the doors open, to paradise or damnation, Jayne really didn't care which anymore. He strode out the doors of the saloon and into the street, the wind kicking up as he walked, but providing no relief to his heat. Nothing to be done for it, Jayne thought, either burn or quench the flame. A man's got needs.

"An why shouldn't I, anyway?" he thought aloud, then realizing he was standing in the street, started toward the house with renewed determination, muttering to himself all the way.

The Madam took one look at him, sweeping her eyes up and down his large, muscular body, and a wry smile crossed features once beautiful, now worn with age and hard life. "New to town?"

She sized him up onc

Comments
Friday, 08 September 2006 06:05
I know posting on my own comments is tacky, but I just want to thank and dedicate this to Leiasky, for the great beta and input. Thanks for everything.
Friday, 08 September 2006 14:54
You KNOW I don't read a lot of Jayne centered fics but I haven't read anything quite like this topic before. It was real good for a first time post!

I like that you took the idea of Jayne really crushing on Inara and wrote a story around it. I think Adam Baldwin played Jayne as if he really liked Inara, so this was just perfect.

I'm glad you decided to post this. And hopefully doing so will encourage you to write and post more :)

However WOULD you get Inara and Jayne together, in any way? There's a challenge for you. . . :)

Friday, 08 September 2006 17:30
Jayne fantasizing about Inara? Reckon he would be all kinds of embarrassed if he realised he was calling out her name and such while he and Megan were having sex. Mind you, at least this way the Captain won't kill him! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Friday, 08 September 2006 17:51
A great beginning is a GOOD thing! "Jayne Cobb sat in the dark dank bar on Beaumonde and pondered his 3rd glass of what the pissant locals called whiskey. Watered down mule piss would have been a better term, but unless he wanted a one man bar fight, he kept his opinion to himself." Vintage Jayne here. Perfect.

"doors open, to paradise or damnation, Jayne really didn't care which anymore."~Nice. And yeah, he wouldn't care which.

LOL @ the male-ho and Jayne's reaction! Well written.

You write his thoughts and his words so well. Yeah, he would go about it just like this, " You're -" he started, words failing him, "beautiful."

Great work on the loving, touching. Very descriptive, just the way it's best done. The more of that, the better, since it keys the reader in, makes them take on the role of man or woman, as they please.

"his legs straining against himself, "~Excellent description of it.

Loved Jayne sleeping it off with his faux-Inara nestled against him. And then I loved Megan holding Mal's screaming voice up to Jayne's ear via comm: "I'm here, Mal!!! " he blurted out, tumbling out of bed and desperately grabbing for his clothes." Nice, the clothes-scrabbling as seen through her eyes.

I liked his offering more coin too, "for the sleeping." Sigh. Lovely. And hey: Let the big ol' rating you've got for this story, the number of readers and our shiny feedback be the gauge to tell you how very much we want to see a sequel to this, will ya? Let the good times continue to roll, babe.

And a HUGE thank you from me to Leiasky for her getting me to read this tale. Hard to believe a first effort can be so mighty. Good on ya, BBJ!
Saturday, 09 September 2006 05:49
OMG!My gorah, y'all are so nice!!!
Thank you for all the review and wonderful praise!! More to come. I promise! Shiny!!!-BBJ :)
Tuesday, 12 September 2006 01:32
Let the following remark not besmirch the praise you've been given so far...but I honestly thought Jayne was brooding over River rather than Inara. Cuz to me the description you had Jayne give the madam struck me as describing both River and Inara, so I went with the more common pairing. Show's what I know;)

Still...this be might shiny stuff you've submitted here, BBJ! Definitely could stand to see some more of this storyline, especially the part when Inara finds out about Jayne's little crush on here. Cuz we all know what will happen...or maybe we wont;D

BEB
Wednesday, 13 September 2006 12:07
To have one that dreamed of the Pirate's lover was almost as much of a triumph in her own mind as overcoming Inara herself....
~A very interesting twist that Megan studied under Inara, I like it.

I liked this story a lot, and would love to see more from you, as I like your writing style and ability.
Wednesday, 08 August 2007 23:54
Well, I'm coming late to the party, but at least that way I can make a grand entrance. :-)

This is an uncommon pairing and one I wouldn't have thought of myself, but it really works here. You've made Jayne's thoughts and actions very believable. However, I'm getting the feeling that Megan is not too be trusted, no matter how, erm, talented she might be!

Post Your Comments

You must log in to post comments.