Big Damn Rub-Downs…….by BigBadJayne

Timeline..After Objects in Space and before Those Left Behind….

It had seemed like a shiny idea at the time, Mal thought bleakly, fingering the twenty-credit gold piece. But that was before, when they were all drunk.

A big job, a bigger payoff, and for once the whole crew were flush. Jayne had bought more fresh fruit, continuing a trend he’d begun after their Ariel job. This time, it was strawberries, two entire flats of them. Kaylee practically cried with delight.

Mal, in his own form of generosity, decided a trip to Boros was in order. Its bars, nightspots, and dens of iniquity would be a boon of diversion after the bleak times they had recently faced. They had landed, cleared port control, and headed for the first bar they could find. Drinks were had, laughs shared, and then Jayne had crowed out.

“Enough liquor. I’m gonna get sexed.”

The party atmosphere was clashingly obliterated. Instantly.

“Jayne!” came the chorus from Mal, Zoe, Wash and Kaylee. Inara, mercifully, was absent, having found a client. Sheppard Book merely shook his head ruefully. River and Simon sat there, the former silent, the later near apoplectic. He was about to say something but Wash held out a hand. “No, Doc, really.” He said trying to warn him off the inevitable confrontation. “It’d be just too easy.”

“The sentiment I don’t mind overmuch.” This from Mal. “But the expressin’ of said plans, not too smooth.”

Simon, however, couldn’t stop himself. “Just . . . so crude.”

Jayne glared down at the much smaller man. “Don’t see you gettin’ any play,” he drawled meanly. “’siderin’ the fact little Kaylee’s been lubed up for ya damn near five months now.” And in a preemptive move, he got up and left the table. “Prissy boy.” He muttered.

Simon swallowed thickly and stared at his hands. Kaylee looked as if someone had shot her dog. Mal rolled his eyes, and wondered how to change the subject – or at least lift the uncomfortableness that had descended like a lead weight over