Blue Sun Room FICTION - DRAMA

The Prisoner: Day 3/10

Saturday, September 2, 2006

Simon doesn't learn much about his cell-mate and mal tries to assure Kaylee.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3362    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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It's building slowly for a reason. Mostly because I'm a fan of drama and like to keep people wondering.

The first two 'days' can be found here:

http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=12740>Day 1.

http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=12741>Day 2.

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The Prisoner

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- Day 3 -

“Why are you here?” Simon asked, squinting in the direction he now knew the voice and body of his cell-mate to be.

“I committed a crime.”

“Oh, is that all?” Simon’s voice dripped sarcasm.

The man’s deep voice rumbled as a chuckle escaped his lips. “I like you, boy. No doubt they will not.”

Simon ignored the familiar tone of the man’s voice and instead latched onto something he’d said. “Who are they ?”

Silence greeted his question.

“Alliance?”

“In some form or another, perhaps.”

Simon wondered about that answer for a long time, until a stone door slid open and he was dragged out of the room, still under cover of darkness.

The man left behind only sighed.

~*~

Simon tried to look around the dark room as his wrists and ankles were bound. He was cold but the rough treatment heated his skin quicker than he thought possible and he welcomed it until the first, sharp lash struck his back.

A surprised gasp escaped his mouth but he clenched it tight as two more quick strokes brought the lash once again into contact with sensitive skin. Tears pricked his eyes but he clamped them shut until he felt the pad of a finger trace down the lithe muscles of his chest.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked and the finger stopped at the waistband of his pants.

He could barely make out the silhouette standing before him, dark as it was and he could not tell if the finger touching him belonged to a man or a woman. Only later, when his question was answered with a sharp punch to the gut, did Simon figure such a painful strike could be delivered by a man.

After untold minutes of voicing his questions and receiving n

Comments
Saturday, 02 September 2006 20:24
I'm gonna go ahead and predict that the mysterious prisoner is either Book or the Operative
Saturday, 02 September 2006 22:45
:sobs: Poor Simon! He's not my favorite character in the show by any means, but it still hurts to read about him being treated like that.

This bit really moved me:

"He could see Kaylee fight to keep control of her anger. He knew, from experience he’d prefer to forget, that it was sometimes easier to be angry, than to cry for something lost. Mal rested his hands on her shoulder and with as much certainty as he could force into his voice, said, “We’ll get him back, mei mei. I promise you.”

It was the one and only promise Malcolm Reynolds had ever made that he knew, with a certain unnerving finality, he would die to keep."

Really, really good. This chapter was short, but it hit me in the heart, which is the difference between good fanfic and generic "crew member A gets kidnapped/arrested and the others have to rescue him" fanfic.
Saturday, 02 September 2006 23:31
I really like all of 'em !!!! 1, 2 and 3
Sunday, 03 September 2006 04:47
The secret drama continues, and I'm very much enjoying it. You are doing a very good job of describing the condition Simon is in.

A surprised gasp escaped his mouth but he clenched it tight as two more quick strokes brought the lash once again into contact with sensitive skin. Tears pricked his eyes but he clamped them shut until he felt the pad of a finger trace down the lithe muscles of his chest.*Good description here of a whipping, and the pad of a finger(good words there).

He groaned loudly when his bonds were cut and he fell in a pained heap to the cold, stone floor. A few more well placed strikes to his back and ribs left him gasping as they dragged him back to his cell. *"pained heep" I like that description too.

I really like the way you're posting this, sometimes, in long fics, people will lose interest after an episode or two. As a reader, I'm eagerly anticpating the next chapters, and know they'll be coming soon.


Sunday, 03 September 2006 06:49
Oh YES!

There's a little sadistic side of me that loves to see Simon in pain, even though he's my favourite character.

God I want more of this story, and not just cause of Simon.
Sunday, 03 September 2006 15:16
very much liked this one. i think simon would recognize book's voice certainly (and he's dead) so I'm gonna go with Operative as the mystery cell mate. As for Mal's final lines, you have me all sorts of worried. Don't hurt the captain (too much ;))!
Sunday, 03 September 2006 23:46
I want to know who the prisoner is - it's driving me nuts! But I love how this is building ... it is seriously angsty and dramatic - which is pretty much your hallmark, my friend.

And Mal's commitment to Kaylee is spot on for his character and their relationship. I want to see more!
Monday, 04 September 2006 19:14
The silent treatment, huh? Just hope Simon can fill the quiet with his own kinds of thoughts...cuz I know filling silences is never fun:(

Gotta admit though...really enjoying the screws you're turning against Simon. Boy need to build some character;)

BEB
Tuesday, 05 September 2006 09:26
Great story, just excellent
Tuesday, 05 September 2006 19:14
Weird... I want to know who the captors are! This is more like Poe or Spanish Inquisition than what I picture as Alliance torture. Very creepy!
Wednesday, 06 September 2006 01:38
Awesome
Wednesday, 06 September 2006 04:13
Honey, this rocks. Were I not freshly back from Dragon*Con (bragging? Yeah...) I'd give it a more worthy reviewing, more in the lovely and loving style of Spacie up there. Sigh. The man knows how to review great fics, makes a girl feel special, big-time.

Okay. I'm still loving the little-by-little approach to enlightenment on what's going on. The beating? Scary and good. I ain't a Simon-girl, but I cringed with sorrow for him here. Mal assuring Kaylee they'll go back for Simon? Excellent too. All believable, all great writing, baby.
Wednesday, 06 September 2006 16:56
Excellent description of the beating, and I like Simon's resolve to stay silent.

It was the one and only promise Malcolm Reynolds had ever made that he knew, with a certain unnerving finality, he would die to keep.
~More good Mal determination.

I am going to disagree with ShadowLeopard up there, at least on his first guess. I know you like to stick to canon, which means Book is long past dead. It could be The Operative, though the tinge of awe from the last day tells me that the stranger didn't know about that happening, which the Operative obviously did. :)
Friday, 08 September 2006 05:45
And my thought screws begin to turn.

Who is the mystery cell mate?

Who are the mystery whip lashers?

Who will save our dearest Simon?

I guess I'll just have to go to day 4 to find out.

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