Blue Sun Room FICTION - DRAMA

The Prisoner: Day 2/10

Friday, September 1, 2006

Simon meets a stranger while imprisoned and Kaylee makes a revelation to Inara.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3617    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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I'll try and post these two at a time because they're so short.

The first 'day' can be found here:

http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=12740>; Day 1.

Thanks to Tamsibling for the beta!

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The Prisoner

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- Day 2 -

Simon awoke in a cell; dark and damp and cold. He trembled as he wrapped his arms around himself, trying desperately to rub some heat into his skin. He was bare to the waist. Left only with the cargo pants he’d donned that morning – or seemingly that morning as there was no concept of time in this dark place.

He pushed himself to a seated position with some difficulty, as his muscles, tense from the shock delivered to his system that knocked him unconscious, began to relax.

“I wouldn’t scuffle about too much. They don’t like a lot of movement.”

Simon’s head whirled around and his eyes struggled to adjust to the darkness. He’d heard the voice, but couldn’t place the direction from which it had come.

“Where am I?” Simon asked, his voice rough from disuse.

“Hell.”

Simon slumped against the wall, exhaling a deep breath and closing his eyes. “Back so soon?” he asked the shadows, “I thought it was only one visit per lifetime.”

The man chuckled deeply at the newest prisoner’s sarcasm. “You’d know if you’d been to hell and back, boy.”

A familiarity tingled in the back of Simon’s mind, but he dismissed it. “I think facing down a room full of Reavers and living to tell the tale constitutes as traveling to hell and back.”

There was a tinge of awe in the invisible man’s voice. “I see.”

“Believe me, I wish I hadn’t.” Simon said as he pushed himself to his feet and stumbled around in the darkness, feeling the sides of the stone wall for any lever that would at least turn on some light, if not open a doorway to freedom.

~*~

“We’ll get him back, Kaylee,” Inara said as the girl sat rigid on Inara’s bed. The Companion drew a brush through her unkept hair, trying to soothe the upset mechanic.

“Cap’n ain’

Comments
Friday, 01 September 2006 18:35
Wow. Kaylee losing faith in Mal is unusual. We seem to have a yen for torturing her lately...not that there's anything wrong with that.

And now Simon's hearing things (or another prisoner). Can they dig out? This is feeling very Count of Monte Cristo. And since I like that book, that's cool.

Friday, 01 September 2006 19:04
Yeah, I feel like she'd have a little more faith in Mal...

He'll prove himself to her though. I just have a feeling about that!
Friday, 01 September 2006 19:57
Hmm. Nice. I like the idea of the invisible prisoner, someone Simon talks to but never sees. Also, you haven't openly flaunted who kidnapped Simon, which takes a turn from generic Simon Gets Kidnapped protocol - ie. His parents, or the Alliance, or both kidnap him. It's probably Alliance, but nice you not just showing us.

Oddly, I don't like the idea of Kaylee losing faith in Mal so fast. I'd imagine she'd be an emotional wreck, and I don't think she's acting how I'd expect her to act.

Oh, and please don't let the ending be a gung-ho kill all the Alliance bad guys kind of thing, unless it's clever. Even then, be careful. You're treading on unoriginal ice here.

I'm going on, aren't I?
Friday, 01 September 2006 21:54
I think given Kaylee and Simon's relationship she would be quite nervous about Mal not going after Simon - especially considering that they blasted off planet seemingly "leaving" him behind. And that fact that River went along with them blasting away has got to make Kaylee all nervous.

I agree that I can see the "Count of Monte Cristo" parallel, but having beta'd it, I also know how it ends ... I am looking forward to day 3!
Friday, 01 September 2006 21:55
One other thing - I don't see Kaylee's comments as a sign that she's lost faith, just a sign that she is nervous and distraught and needs reassurance. She loves the guy and she has no idea what his fate might be other than the fact that whoever snatched him probably didn't take him for tea and dumplings.
Saturday, 02 September 2006 03:26
So as I was reading this piece, I was listening to the album <i>Picaresque</i> by the Decemberists...there's a song on there called "The Bagman's Gambit," and for some reason the chorus really struck me as appropriate for this story (I'm quoting it out of context, but hey)...

...from my ten floor tenement
Where once our bodies lay
How I long to hear you say
"No, they'll never catch me now
No, they'll never catch me
No, they cannot catch me now
We will escape somehow
Somehow."

...

And at the gate of the embassy
Our hands met through the bars
As your whisper stilled my heart
"No, they'll never catch me now
No, they'll never catch me
No, they cannot catch me now
We will escape somehow
Somehow."

Saturday, 02 September 2006 04:39
I wanna know who the guy in the cell is.
Saturday, 02 September 2006 08:20
Put more on!!!
its sad seeing Kaylee loose faith in Mal.
Saturday, 02 September 2006 11:31
Again, main comments have already been made (guess that's what I get for being away for a couple of days), but I would like to add that I think that Kaylee's loss of faith may be appropriate due to the fact that she is distraught. She loves the guy, hasn't told him, he's been taken, THEY'VE LEFT THE PLANET HE WAS TAKEN ON (I wish I had italics so I could emphasize without "shouting"), and I think her take on the way that Mal has treated Simon and River so far is pretty much correct. On the other hand, if Mal didn't intend to try to rescue Simon, I don't think River would have even left the planet (she would have taken enough of Serenity apart to ensure that she (the ship) stayed put). It would also be reasonable for Kaylee to realize what's going on from River's reaction, or lack thereof.
Saturday, 02 September 2006 17:28
goblueguy, you absolutely pegged my intent when writing Kaylee here. And yes, she does have a conversation with River.

Thanks for the comments everyone. Hope you continue to enjoy the further into the story we get.
Saturday, 02 September 2006 19:44
Very interesting stuff, I'm looking forward to learning more about Simon's cell mate.

A familiarity tingled in the back of Simon’s mind, but he dismissed it. “I think facing down a room full of Reavers and living to tell the tale constitutes as traveling to hell and back.” *I like you tying this to the BDM, very good.

“Have faith, Kaylee,” Inara set the brush down and embraced the distraught mechanic from behind. “Malcolm Reynolds doesn’t give up that easily.” *So true and very well written.

I do like how you written Kaylee, she would be very distressed at the loss of Simon, and even though Inara's comment was meant to comfort, I do think she might have a crisis of faith in the captain.


Sunday, 03 September 2006 15:11
Simon slumped against the wall, exhaling a deep breath and closing his eyes. “Back so soon?” he asked the shadows, “I thought it was only one visit per lifetime.”

--love that one!

I agree that Kaylee should have more faith in Mal. He earned that lifting River up off the floor of the bar on Maidenhead. However, she is griefstricken and worried and probably not thinking too clearly. I'm guessing she'll come around.
Monday, 04 September 2006 05:16
Oh...the mysteriuous prisoner is definitely gonna haunt me till I know who's in the cell (or being made to appear like they are in the cell) with Simon;)

You're back and better than ever, Leiasky:D

BEB
Wednesday, 06 September 2006 04:10
NICE, the teasing us with just a tad about the cell experience and the mystery man. I like his demeanor, I'm rapt and wrapped up in this even more now.

Lovely Kayleeness. You're a great writer, Leia. Spacie's right. Nice to see an author do good works without it being pornified. Too many other good writers seem to be unable to write 4 words without sexifyin' things up.
Wednesday, 06 September 2006 16:49
Yay for the stranger. I want to figure out who (s)he is.

“Malcolm Reynolds doesn’t give up that easily.”
~So very damn true, he's a hard one to beat.
Friday, 08 September 2006 05:34
hmm....intriguing, yet captivating. On to day 3. *scratches head again* How have I never read your work before. Anyway, I'm a definite fan now.
Sunday, 01 October 2006 19:16
Good, but too short.

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