In the garden, and RAIN!!!!

POSTED BY: SIGNYM
UPDATED: Thursday, December 25, 2025 04:27
VIEWED: 1005090
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Quote:

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Originally posted by SIGNYM:
Hey BRENDA, I agree with SIX. It seems to me that the Canadian system- which is touted to be so superior to the USA's - should have something to offer you.

I know someone (in Ontario, so not at all near you) who works as a neuropsychiatrist, and HER job is to screen out the fakers ... yanno, people who claim to have a problem when they don't. (Usually work-related disability claims.) But with your history of tumor and surgery it seems to me that you should at least be eligible for evaluation- that kind of history is definitely not fake!

Let me follow a clue that you've left here: You don't drive. Why is that? I can think of at least two reasons:

1) Your anticonvulsants aren't 100% effective, and so you can't get a license,
2) You get lost easily.

BOTH can be true, but the difficulty finding one's way around is the hardest to elucidate. It results from problems on the right-hand side of the brain (where our dd had her catastrophic bleed) and problems there are often called "silent" because they leave speech/language intact but leave deficits that - altho can be quite profound - are hard to quantify without careful and insightful evaluation.

I bring this up because of dd's hx of brain bleed ... she SOUNDS sort of OK, but I can't trust her to find her way around our block by herself. We're still working on right versus left. She has SUCH a hard time processing images that it's almost as if she's blind, except (unlike a blind person who can create a mental map/image from touch) she can't even do that. People constantly overestimate how smart she is, and then get frustrated because they think she's being stubborn when in reality she can't translate verbal instructions (Stack this in the upper right-hand corner) into a "picture" of what the result is supposed to "look like". She has zero imagination (imagination= to make a mental image.) so if you ask what she wants for her future, she just gives you a blank look. What she has is called a "non-verbal learning disability" (because the disability doesn't involve words) and it's still kind of unknown territory and terribly under-diagnosed.

Anyway, you may have some subtle but serious deficit; a particular skill that's compromised in some way that makes life and work very difficult. With a brain tumor, that's not hard to imagine. (And if you tell me where in the brain it was, I can take a guess at what kind of impact it might have had, and you can check it against how you feel. You can get in touch with me privately.) So give it some thought, and if you think that's the case perhaps you can find someone who will advocate for you.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

"The messy American environment, where most people don't agree, is perfect for people like me. I CAN DO AS I PLEASE." - SECOND

America is an oligarchy http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.aspx?tid=57876 .

---

As a rule our systems here in Canada are good. I have no worries about my medical. Meds are covered and my hearing aids.

The driving thing is 1. I never learned how
2. I could get lost.
Once I learn a route or an area, I am fine going and coming back to where I live. Like I said about going to meet friends in Vancouver, I had specific instructions but I still got just a little bit turned around. I use landmarks like buildings or specific signs to orientate me when I am in a different area.

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Quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda:
As a rule our systems here in Canada are good. I have no worries about my medical. Meds are covered and my hearing aids.

The driving thing is 1. I never learned how
2. I could get lost.
Once I learn a route or an area, I am fine going and coming back to where I live. Like I said about going to meet friends in Vancouver, I had specific instructions but I still got just a little bit turned around. I use landmarks like buildings or specific signs to orientate me when I am in a different area.

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Forgive me again for being bold here, but maybe you should give driving a shot? I had just assumed there was a medical reason that you didn't drive.

I used to get lost driving all the time. Over the years I've overcome that a bit by paying more attention to things and the fact that I don't drive much outside of my comfort zone these days. Plotting out my path on Google Maps helps. I'd surely never get lost again if I had a smart phone, or if I sprung for a new GPS system.

Back in highschool I got the nickname "pathfinder" by the wrestling team (long story )

It's actually a source of extreme stress for me, depending on my mood that day, when I'm driving in a completely new area. Especially on the expressway where I'm worried about missing an exit.

I'd say those issues are pretty normal... or at least they're not all that uncommon.


Maybe if you gained the ability to drive it would open up avenues to get you into really nice assisted living that aren't open to you now? There is no way my brother was going to get it in the Chicagoland area. The waiting list for it used to be over a decade long, but before my Dad even bothered trying there they had even stopped accepting new applicants.

Legally, he can never drive because of his vision issues. This makes it a bit hard for him, and he's so far away from the rest of us right now. My dad goes down there once or twice a month now. I usually go 3 to 4 times a year. My other brother is so busy he only makes it about once a year.

We will have to figure out something better when my Dad is no longer able to make that 150+ mile trek.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Quote:

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Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK:

Quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda:
As a rule our systems here in Canada are good. I have no worries about my medical. Meds are covered and my hearing aids.

The driving thing is 1. I never learned how
2. I could get lost.
Once I learn a route or an area, I am fine going and coming back to where I live. Like I said about going to meet friends in Vancouver, I had specific instructions but I still got just a little bit turned around. I use landmarks like buildings or specific signs to orientate me when I am in a different area.

---

Forgive me again for being bold here, but maybe you should give driving a shot? I had just assumed there was a medical reason that you didn't drive.

I used to get lost driving all the time. Over the years I've overcome that a bit by paying more attention to things and the fact that I don't drive much outside of my comfort zone these days. Plotting out my path on Google Maps helps. I'd surely never get lost again if I had a smart phone, or if I sprung for a new GPS system.

Back in highschool I got the nickname "pathfinder" by the wrestling team (long story )

It's actually a source of extreme stress for me, depending on my mood that day, when I'm driving in a completely new area. Especially on the expressway where I'm worried about missing an exit.

I'd say those issues are pretty normal... or at least they're not all that uncommon.


Maybe if you gained the ability to drive it would open up avenues to get you into really nice assisted living that aren't open to you now? There is no way my brother was going to get it in the Chicagoland area. The waiting list for it used to be over a decade long, but before my Dad even bothered trying there they had even stopped accepting new applicants.

Legally, he can never drive because of his vision issues. This makes it a bit hard for him, and he's so far away from the rest of us right now. My dad goes down there once or twice a month now. I usually go 3 to 4 times a year. My other brother is so busy he only makes it about once a year.

We will have to figure out something better when my Dad is no longer able to make that 150+ mile trek.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

---

I tried learning to drive before the brain surgery an ex tried to teach me. But he didn't have the patience for it and gave up.

One thing is I can't afford to buy or lease a car and then all the upkeep on one.

And I have gotten the feeling from neurologist that maybe it is a good thing that I don't drive because my seizures come and go. I was off seizure meds before my mom died then the stress from looking after and such brought my seizures back. I have been stable for a good number of years and I don't think I could handle the stress of driving.

I would love to have learned to drive and had a car before the sh&t hit the fan but that wasn't in the cards back then.

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Quote:

---

As a rule our systems here in Canada are good. I have no worries about my medical. Meds are covered and my hearing aids.

The driving thing is 1. I never learned how
2. I could get lost.
Once I learn a route or an area, I am fine going and coming back to where I live. Like I said about going to meet friends in Vancouver, I had specific instructions but I still got just a little bit turned around. I use landmarks like buildings or specific signs to orientate me when I am in a different area.- BRENDA

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This is typical of people who don't visualize well. Back to that in a bit.

Quote:

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I tried learning to drive before the brain surgery an ex tried to teach me. But he didn't have the patience for it and gave up.

---

This is also typical of people who don't visualize well. It's possible that you were having problems before your tumor was diagnosed: After all, it didn't just show up one day - it might have been growing for years.

Quote:

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And I have gotten the feeling from neurologist that maybe it is a good thing that I don't drive because my seizures come and go. I was off seizure meds before my mom died then the stress from looking after and such brought my seizures back. I have been stable for a good number of years and I don't think I could handle the stress of driving.

I would love to have learned to drive and had a car before the sh&t hit the fan but that wasn't in the cards back then.-BRENDA

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Having become intimately familiar with neurologists, neurosurgeons, and neuropsychologists, I've learned there is surprisingly little overlap with what they do.

A neurologist will generally NOT have detailed insight into your mental functioning ... how well your short and long-term verbal memory works, how well you visualize, how well you reason, etc. THAT is the province of the neuropsychologist, who will test you along different skill sets like math, puzzle completion, memory, vocabulary, attention span etc.

I'm not sure how they do things in Canada, but when they evaluated dear daughter for neurosurgery they tested her BEFOREhand. That was so they could compare "before and after" to see if she had lost any skills during surgery.

However, your surgery wasn't epilepsy surgery, it was tumor removal, and may have been done on a urgent basis. Do you recall ever being tested by having a series of ten words thrown at you and then asked to repeat as many as possible at random times during the rest of the test? Do you ever recall being asked to copy a drawing, or to construct pictures from red/white cubes, or to arrange a series of pictures in a time-sequence?

You might want to try a little bit of self-diagnosis: How well do you copy drawings (without tracing)? From memory? When you draw, are the drawings a little bit truncated on the left? (You can tell by flipping the drawing upside down and evaluating it that way) Can you use maps easily? As a writer, when you imagine your stories, do you "see" them, or parts of them, as scenes in a movie? Do pictures come to mind, which you then describe in words? How is your scheduling? Do you "place" yourself accurately in a calendar? Or do you (like I do) constantly "double book" yourself by accident, scheduling events/appointments at the same time without realizing it?



-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

"The messy American environment, where most people don't agree, is perfect for people like me. I CAN DO AS I PLEASE." - SECOND

America is an oligarchy http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.aspx?tid=57876 .

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Quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda:
I tried learning to drive before the brain surgery an ex tried to teach me. But he didn't have the patience for it and gave up.

One thing is I can't afford to buy or lease a car and then all the upkeep on one.

And I have gotten the feeling from neurologist that maybe it is a good thing that I don't drive because my seizures come and go. I was off seizure meds before my mom died then the stress from looking after and such brought my seizures back. I have been stable for a good number of years and I don't think I could handle the stress of driving.

I would love to have learned to drive and had a car before the sh&t hit the fan but that wasn't in the cards back then.

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I do understand that. My grandpa crashed a car once while having a seizure and my grandma did all the driving after that. He was pretty young. I don't know the age exactly, but it was well before I was born. He got hit in the head with a baseball bat during a game when he was a kid and had seizures his whole life because of it.

It still might not hurt to try to learn again and to at least get licensed. You wouldn't have to rush into buying a car since you've gone all of your life without one, so you might luck into a real deal on a used car.

Do keep in mind that an ideal "end game" scenario here is that you're living somewhat out in the boonies where you'd never have to drive on the expressway. If my brother was able to drive, he'd really have no problem driving where he lives now. I used to let him drive my car when he had his learners permit until my mom freaked out about him driving and told the school about his issues. They actually weren't aware of them since documents had gotten lost between school transfers when we moved years earlier. Because my mom did this, it was official that he could never legally drive in Illinois again. That's actually a huge part of the hate and resentment he'd built up for years at the world and at my mom specifically.

But back on topic, he wasn't terrible at it, and I'm sure with time and somebody patient like me teaching him he would have been able to overcome his large blindspots and adjust. That just wasn't in the cards.

I would think that once it became second nature to you that it wouldn't be a stressful event to just drive on city streets to go get food or go to the doctor. Winters would probably be a little more tough, but you could plan ahead and avoid driving in snowstorms, and I'm sure you could find an employer who would work around you not being there during them.


I'm not trying to pressure you or anything here. Just throwing out alternatives. With the low apartment rent my brother has, he'd be able to afford a functional car if he could drive one with his SSDI payments. If it's the same where you're at as it is where he's at, you'd probably be paying less money for a good apartment than you're paying the witch right now.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Quote:

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Originally posted by SIGNYM:
SIX, I know we went thru this before; it sounds like plantar fasciitis. Or possibly your work boots have no cushioning at all, and between that and the concrete floor your feet might be taking a real pounding. Or maybe you wear double socks in winter and your feet are just getting squished. I'd take a close look at my footwear, if I were you, especially if I do something different in the winter. Seems like the first thing to try before looking into other things,

I think I recommended a shoe insert which helps orient your feet and also provides cushioning. I know that I had plantar fasciitis a few years ago, it was incredibly painful and I tried all of the crap that doctors recommend: stretching, heel cups, ibuprofen, etc etc and nothing worked until I got those inserts: The newer version is Dr. Scholl’s Pain Relief Orthotics for Heel for Men, 1 Pair, Size 8-12 about $12 on Amazon (prolly less in your neighborhood pharmacy bc no shipping.)

Because the worst pain is in one area, it's doesn't sound to me as if you have a general problem, but a very specific one. I hope this helps.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

"The messy American environment, where most people don't agree, is perfect for people like me. I CAN DO AS I PLEASE." - SECOND

America is an oligarchy http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.aspx?tid=57876 .

---

It could be. There are a lot of variables right now.

I don't have work boots. I'm using a pair of sketchers with memory foam inserts that I picked up for $30 bucks. One of the reviews was a woman saying that her husband worked all day on concrete and he loved them. I didn't have any problems with them during the summer. Maybe I just need to buy a new pair and it's a coincidence that they stopped working during the cold. Not only do I put a ton of miles on concrete with them, but I'm very often stretching out the soles when I pull extremely heavy pallets.

I did try going back to an old pair of gym shoes I used when I first started there with the barely used Dr. Scholls inserts I had bought for around 20 bucks. They are way too tight though, and I actually got a blister on one of my toes and never tried them again. Maybe I just need to buckle down and go out and buy a $100 pair of legit work boots and see what happens.

TBH, I feel a lot more financially secure right now then the last time I went shoe shopping, and the idea of spending $75 to $120 on an awesome pair of shoes that would relieve me of this pain doesn't sound as prohibitive. The last time I had went shopping I had only banked a few thousand bucks since I started working, and I hadn't even started the process of fixing my car (thinking I'd be buying a new one soon) and I was much less confident that there was a relatively cheap fix for my dental issues.

Overall, things are looking a lot better than they were 6 months ago. :)



I frequently have other minor pains here and there. The other day I did get a twinge in my lower right back that made the rest of the night a bit uncomfortable, but after sleeping it off it was good as new and hasn't bothered me since. Tonight I had the same thing happen in my upper right shoulder. I probably just need to be stretching, especially in the cold weather. I don't do that at all, TBH. Probably not a good idea when I do all the heavy lifting I do for 8 hours a night.


Really though, the pain is so much less than it was last winter, and it's more generalized just in my feet now. I think the gluten free is still working and has severely lessened my overall inflammation that I experienced with all that pizza dough and pasta playing hell on my entire system.

Thanks again for the input. :)

Sorry I'm just responding now. I didn't realize that you had posted this until I started my reply.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Driving home was a bit of a hassle tonight. Plows had barely been out and you couldn't even see the lines on the expressway yet, but at least there was traction. Took me about 2 1/2 times as long to get home, but I was just coasting about 30 to 35 the whole way. Fortunately, it was Saturday morning and only people who absolutely had to be on the road were out, so it wasn't a madhouse like it would have been on a Monday morning.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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SIX: I think the weather is heading to my hometown, where my sis still lives. Ugh. I feel sorry for her!

Oh BTW, don't bother springing for work boots. My hubby has neuropathy in his feet, and the Sketchers are very comfortable for him, provided that they fit well. Do you have extra wide feet?

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

"The messy American environment, where most people don't agree, is perfect for people like me. I CAN DO AS I PLEASE." - SECOND

America is an oligarchy http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.aspx?tid=57876 .

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Quote:

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Originally posted by SIGNYM:

Quote:

---

As a rule our systems here in Canada are good. I have no worries about my medical. Meds are covered and my hearing aids.

The driving thing is 1. I never learned how
2. I could get lost.
Once I learn a route or an area, I am fine going and coming back to where I live. Like I said about going to meet friends in Vancouver, I had specific instructions but I still got just a little bit turned around. I use landmarks like buildings or specific signs to orientate me when I am in a different area.- BRENDA

---

This is typical of people who don't visualize well. Back to that in a bit.[b/quote]

I think I visualize well. But learning an area that I am unfamiliar with can be difficult.

Quote:

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I tried learning to drive before the brain surgery an ex tried to teach me. But he didn't have the patience for it and gave up.

---

This is also typical of people who don't visualize well. It's possible that you were having problems before your tumor was diagnosed: After all, it didn't just show up one day - it might have been growing for years. [b/quote]

I most likely was having trouble for years but couldn't put it down to anything specific. My family doctor figures it was probably there since I was born and maybe puberty starting bringing it to the fore front. Hard to say now.

Quote:

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And I have gotten the feeling from neurologist that maybe it is a good thing that I don't drive because my seizures come and go. I was off seizure meds before my mom died then the stress from looking after and such brought my seizures back. I have been stable for a good number of years and I don't think I could handle the stress of driving.

I would love to have learned to drive and had a car before the sh&t hit the fan but that wasn't in the cards back then.-BRENDA

---

Having become intimately familiar with neurologists, neurosurgeons, and neuropsychologists, I've learned there is surprisingly little overlap with what they do.

A neurologist will generally NOT have detailed insight into your mental functioning ... how well your short and long-term verbal memory works, how well you visualize, how well you reason, etc. THAT is the province of the neuropsychologist, who will test you along different skill sets like math, puzzle completion, memory, vocabulary, attention span etc.

I'm not sure how they do things in Canada, but when they evaluated dear daughter for neurosurgery they tested her BEFOREhand. That was so they could compare "before and after" to see if she had lost any skills during surgery.

However, your surgery wasn't epilepsy surgery, it was tumor removal, and may have been done on a urgent basis. Do you recall ever being tested by having a series of ten words thrown at you and then asked to repeat as many as possible at random times during the rest of the test? Do you ever recall being asked to copy a drawing, or to construct pictures from red/white cubes, or to arrange a series of pictures in a time-sequence?

You might want to try a little bit of self-diagnosis: How well do you copy drawings (without tracing)? From memory? When you draw, are the drawings a little bit truncated on the left? (You can tell by flipping the drawing upside down and evaluating it that way) Can you use maps easily? As a writer, when you imagine your stories, do you "see" them, or parts of them, as scenes in a movie? Do pictures come to mind, which you then describe in words? How is your scheduling? Do you "place" yourself accurately in a calendar? Or do you (like I do) constantly "double book" yourself by accident, scheduling events/appointments at the same time without realizing it? [b/quote]

Tumour removal was done on an emergency bases as where it was it could have killed me even being benign.

Never tested before surgery but a few years after I went through some testing and nothing showed that I was having any major problems at that time. Mind that was maybe 5 or 6 ye

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