Time to Go. (public service message: this may be a goodbye thread)
POSTED BY: RionaEire
UPDATED: Monday, April 8, 2013 20:12
VIEWED: 19952
PAGE 2 of 8
Quote:
Originally posted by RionaEire:
That Hitler thread was an honest thread, I didn't make up those experiences. The only experiment was to see if everyone would be as unkind to me when I posted an event from my real life as they are to others sometimes when they do. this thread isn't experimental, except that initially I felt like it _may be a goodbye thread and now, thanks to Magon's, I know it is a goodbye thread.
"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya
Sorry, where was your real life experience where people were unkind to you? I reread the Hitler thread, and I struggle to find one unkind post there. In fact, I can't really think when anyone has been unkind to you on this board. The worst thing that has probably been said about you is that you can be passive aggressive (that was me) and I still think that is true.
I never said that the thread was made up, but I feel kind of weird when you use posts to test me (and others) But that may be just me. I don't like to feel tricked into responding, which is what I feel you sometimes do.
If you feel you don't want to come here because of my response, I wouldn't bother worrying. I hardly do more than check in here every few days, and often find nothing to respond.
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I test people too. I don't really design experiments like Riona does, but I float comments and talk about my experiences to see how people react. It's how I get feedback for whether anyone cares about me or my personal issues (answer: they don't).
But if I let general apathy/irritation towards my person stop me, I'd never get anything done. So I'm still here I guess, still talking with people, and it doesn't even matter anymore if people want to be friends with me or not. This is the internet, I'm pretty sure the vast majority of it doesn't care about anything. I've come to accept that, and to accept that probably none of this means anything. I'm not anyone special, I'm not going to change minds, let alone change the world. That's just reality.
So it's not so much that I'm friends with everyone, it's more that I'm irrelevant and I've worn out my welcome and I know it. My life is basically this enormous emptiness that can't really be filled, and I have a sneaking suspicion I was just born that way. So I post on the internet because I pretty much have nothing else.
Have a nice day!
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Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
So it's not so much that I'm friends with everyone, it's more that I'm irrelevant and I've worn out my welcome and I know it. My life is basically this enormous emptiness that can't really be filled, and I have a sneaking suspicion I was just born that way. So I post on the internet because I pretty much have nothing else.
:(
I know I've tried and failed before, so this probably won't work either, but I wish I could convince you how completely NOT irrelevant you are. I very much enjoy your presence, and the only irritation I feel is when you start beating yourself up or seeing dislike that's just not there.
I'm glad you haven't left, and your current devil-may-care approach has given me several guffaws.
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Riona: I don't really understand your particular reasons for leaving, but I do understand the urge. I've left plenty of times LOL! Have a nice break, and I hope that like most of us you'll be drawn back, and still have good times ahead on RWED. You're part of the crew now and always will be, even if you take a break.
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Okay, I finally took the time to read the "Hitler thread" and come back to this one. I'm perplexed, and I admit somewhat suspicious. First of all, I couldn't find any kind of "diss" or put down of you in that thread, Riona, much less nastiness. People gave their opinions, and most seemed to be trying to educate you on how someone who empathizes with a certain group (in this case Druids), especially a group not well known or understood, might respond to the more popular beliefs of others. I found nothing wrong in the person's remark, and I can see how he and those like him might view St. Patrick as a "Hitlerian" figure. I don't think it's melodramatic, just someone saying "no, I'm not like most people who are unaware of what Patrick did, for my people he's a horrible figure, not a good one". That's just my answer to the question you posed in the thread.
I don't doubt the experience was an honest one, but how it was utilized and for what purposes, I question. Because nowhere do I see any kind of nastiness aimed at you personally. I have to admit, having read what you now write about the thread, I feel somewhat negatively about your intent; this isn't the first time either you or Byte, I forget which, has set up a scenario as a "test", and I don't think it's particularly an honest thing to do. Quite possibly others have done similar things, but they haven't come back to tell everyone afterward that it was some kind of test. Doing so gives me an unpleasant feeling; doing so for your own purposes is one thing, doing so then essentially saying "you were all tested and found wanting" doesn't endear me to anyone. Nobody I know of is here to prove themselves as a "better" person than anyone else.
When suspicion starts, I find myself thinking about the situation in a larger frame, and I can't help wondering if, consciously or otherwise, all the fuss around your thread regarding Anthony and I being missing, then my saying I was leaving because someone I believed respected me became aggressively unpleasant and unfair, started something for you. The timing is strange; so is your stating you were leaving and attributing it to a thread where I'm DAMNED if I can find people treating you unkindly.
For one thing, your first post after putting up the thread thanked people for their responses and said there were "some" reasonable responses. I can't see a single UNreasonable response, so I don't know where that came from. All in all, I feel pretty mistrustful of your motives...I start wondering if you needed attention, or were trying to make some point to back up something I said about why I was leaving, or were just playing with us, or the short disagreement you had with Byte in that thread became something else for you (tho' it certainly seemed to be solved there)...I don't know, I just found my mind wandering around momentarily trying to figure out WHY you did all this. It's not important enough for me to cogitate on for long, but I don't think this "public service message" is what it pretends to be. I agree with Magons.
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Niki, I think that Riona is someone with such a personality and upbringing that she's really not used to people disagreeing with her, so when it happens, it becomes actually quite upsetting even if there wasn't any negativity that we intended.
Also I did inadvertently push some trigger buttons for Riona which would have certainly unsettled her.
I think this thread is entirely sincere.
As for my tests, I never advertised them, but it's what convinced me that I'm more than somewhat intolerable and that no one has any interest in me. My methodology was impeccable and the results are beyond dispute. I've just decided recently that isn't any reason to leave and I'm starting to decide that there's no reason to take that out on other people even in the form of harmless if incessant trolling.
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Cav's response was obviously the meanest, he thinks he knows everything about everything and ... yeah. As for the others of you, I don't mind people disagreeing with me, its common enough given where I live and my divergent opinions from those around me, both in my community (Portland) and in my circle of friends (many pagans among them, but none who have a problem with my enjoyment of March 17th). And then people like Magon's and Niki get all weird for no reason, weird.
Who knows Byte, with determination and proper noteriety, or ananimity perhaps depending on the situation, you very well could change the world for the better, don't give up just yet.
Upon further reflection, Cav is definitely who I'm really mad at, he insinuated that I don't care about Irish culture, which ultimately was very unkind, does he not read my posts? Maybe I'm not vocal enough about how my inner being is Irish and I perform trad. Furthermore he insinuates that I'm just a mean closed minded person. Sure there are a few things that I'm closed minded about and I admit that without reservation. But his lack of the knowing of me is unsavory. I feel like people don't really listen to each other on this forum as much as you'd think they would. I know a bucket load about all of you, only based on what you've posted of course, but I remember what people say and no one else seems to do that. So Cav, even though I know more about him than I need to, doesn't know anything about me, or at least very little. friends know things about each other and pay attention to each other.
I just don't think we're friends on here, except for Byte of course, because I knew her long before I came on here. And when I think someone's my friend then they go do silly stuff which indicates to me otherwise. I guess I've just gotten tired of waiting for it to turn a corner. I'm used to being disagreed with, but what Cav did was something beyond that, he was insinuating things about me that are unfair, especially since he's not observant enough to have gotten to know me over 2 years.
I think that's what I'm actually upset about.
"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya
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Holy shit! Cav had exactly ONE reply in your "Hitler thread":Quote:
Um. Byte sorta covered this, Riona, but yeah, St. Patrick was responsible for KILLING/CONVERTING THROUGH TORTURE the Druids in Ireland and drove the practice of Druidism entirely underground. Before St. Patrick, Ireland was pretty much all Druidic, so "driving the snakes out of Ireland" wasn't just shutting down some obscure priesthood, but the wholesale destruction of the indigenous culture of Ireland. It's a big deal.
So, yeah, genocide, and forced conversions (cultural genocide) were the order of the day. It is debated whether or not he and his church destroyed Druidic practice completely or not. Of course, many of its traditions were appropriated by the Catholics in their rituals and holiday celebrations.
And now after a couple minutes googling, I see that this information is readily available on the internet. Riona, if you cared, all you would have had to do was look it up instead of presuming that this guy was crazy. I find your breezy dismissal of the cultural devastation wrought by your heroes pretty disturbing. Have at least a little tact. Ignorance is no excuse when anyone can google.
And what you get out of that is that he "insinuated that I don't care about Irish culture," "that I'm just a mean closed minded person", and that he doesn't remember your "inner being" is Irish and you do "trad" (whatever that is)???
Holy shit. There simply are no words...you reeeely, really think that people here take notes on one another, consider each other friends enough to remember their hobbies, likes, dislikes, and try to be considerate of all their beliefs? HOW long have you been on RWED exactly?
Byte, anyone who considers anyone else on this forum, or this site, or even the internet, a "friend", who hasn't met that person and shared SOMETHING with them in the real world, is just begging to be smacked upside the haid! We're not FRIENDS...we're a bunch of people who share a love of a science fiction TV series, and we end up in THIS forum because we enjoy yakking about things OTHER than that TV series.
It was silly enough that I let myself get disappointed by Frem's actual ATTACKS on me, when I thought we were somewhat more friendly than the usual posters here because we've talked a lot in e-mail, shared videos, and I sent a gift to Wendy. But because one person posted his opinion (which you ASKED for, by the way) and didn't remember you're feelings about the Irish and told you that calling someone crazy without thinking about how they felt when you assumed they liked St. Patrick...all THIS?
I gotta go. I'm laughing too damned hard...I truly am sorry you got your feelings hurt, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. But now that I know more of the whys and wherefores, I'm afraid my sympathy is somewhat less.
This place is funnier than hell sometimes...
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And that less than thrilling, but all be it rather humorous, display is why I don't have time for this place anymore. If 2 years of my emotional investment in a community gets me no more than _that, then its obvious its time to move on in my travels.
You too planned to leave because of your disagreement with one person as I recall not so very long ago. The difference being that you and Frem are friends, or at least you were. You also get quite upset at the comments of individuals on this board, though you claim otherwise sometimes, claiming that no one can hurt you etc. Everyone can be hurt, at least everyone with feelings and the ability to care about others, including you.
"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya
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People donated to send you to the Gulf Niki, to help with the oil spill cleanup.
...Something is wrong here. Laughing at Riona for being upset. Telling me I shouldn't get insulted.
It occurs to me that none of us probably wants to spend any more time on this.
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