Take Turns Writing: "Ebo and the Mountain"

POSTED BY: Succatash
UPDATED: Thursday, May 27, 2004 03:06
VIEWED: 14562
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TEELABROWN

Tuesday, May 4, 2004 10:29 PM

Outside the box...

"Now, divde these two fractions." Mr. Hepner said, giving a piece of chalk to the Hippie.

"Okay..." The Hippie looked at the board, like he was analyzing art. "Okay, so we move this one here, and this here..." and with each "here", the Hippie was getting worsening looks from Mr> Hepner, when the bell ringed. "Well, outta time! Guess we'll just get back to it after lunch!"

Mr. Hepner was disappointed. He left.

Ebo went to the box, and opened it. "Don't you love one way locks?" But when she looked inside, she saw nothing.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Tuesday, May 4, 2004 11:22 PM

"Ahhh! Guys! Look! The box ate the jar-o-teela-and-tash!" Ebo screamed, "There's only one way to figure out what hepped to them. Big guy, lock me in the box."

"But-"

"Do it!" Ebo said, jumping into the box.

Sighing the Big Guy locked her in. Ebo sat for a while before she realized that the floor was slowly opeing. Glancing down she thought she saw lava but before she could do anything she fell into the hole. She fell for a long time before landing on a soft couch.

Slowly she sat up, "Am I dead?"

Tash shook his head, "No. This, as far as we can figure, is some sort of primitive tourcher chamber."

Teela nodded, "Uh-huh, apparently we fell into another dimemtion through that box."

"But the lava..." Ebo said in disbeleif.

"A trick of the light."

Ebo stood and looked around the room she saw a huge wide screen TV with surrond sound and a DVD player, a mini-bar, a large couch, and a full buffet table set out with an incredible array of cheeze, crackers, sliced fruit, and smoked salmon.

"Are you sure this is a toucher chamber?"

"Yep. We're in another dimention, remember? Apparently this is the worst living possible. Come relax, Helga will be back to give us an aromatherapy massage in about 10 minutes."

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

SUCCATASH

Wednesday, May 5, 2004 2:10 AM

8 minutes later, Tash sighed heavily. Bubbles rose to the top of the super jar. "I'm bored," he said.

He turned eagerly towards Teela and asked, "Hey Teela, wanna go androngynous for a little while?"

"What? You mean turn into that creepy asexual head?" responded Teela. She seemed to think. "Okay, why not?" she answered.

They rubbed noses and the Super Jar bubbled and steamed. When the glass cleared, the asexual head was visible within the jar. It spoke to Ebo in a neutral voice: "Ebo, you must help the mountain people. They are your children and also your parents."

Then the bright light flashed and Teela and Tash became their separate heads again.

"Wow, that was fun!" cried Teela. Tash bubbled happily in agreement.

EBONEZER

Wednesday, May 5, 2004 2:29 AM

Ebo pondered then gave up and said, "I give up, what does that mean."

Tash shrugged, or whould have if...well..i mean...well, you know what i mean.

"Oh! I have a riddle for you! Brothers and sisters i have none, but this mans father, is my fathers son...you have to pretend I'm a guy though and-"

"I am helga!" a loud and (insert another adjactive meaning loud here) voice interjected, "Prepare for pain and utter suffering!"

She steped through the doorway and snapped a latex glove onto her head...a blue latex glove.

"Erm, hi," Ebo said, "Appaerntly your my children or something. Of perhaps I'm your children...or something...any idea where I'm going with this?"

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

SUCCATASH

Wednesday, May 5, 2004 3:40 AM

Helga took a close look at Ebo. Instantly, she fell to her knees and began to worship Ebo.

"The Mightly Chosen One has returned!" Helga cried.

Suddenly, a hundred small gremlins poured into the room and began fondling and petting and stroking Ebo.

EBONEZER

Thursday, May 6, 2004 1:59 AM

"Um...Ok, the petting and stroking is fine, lay off on the fondling, though. It's kinda creepy," Ebo said slowly.

The fondling, if anything, increased.

"So...little people things...what exactly does being the Mighty Chosen One imply?"

She got no answer.

"Hello? Ok, as the Mighty Choosen One I order you to tell me whats going on!"

She drummed her fingers on a gremlens head for a while then, relizing she wasn't going to get an answer she stommped over to the Jar o TnT. A wave of little gremlen things followed her.

"Get off!" she screamed and kicked one. It fell unconsious to the floor. Imedeiatly the others jumped on it, tearing it to peaces and eating its flesh.

Teela wrinkled her nose, "Now thats just unsettling."

"It is true!" a chorus of tiny voices said in perfect unison, "she IS the Mightly Choosen One! She has brought us food."

"You just ate one of your own! I will not be held responsible!"

"Oh," Helga said stepping forward, "But you have fulfilled the profacy!"

"What profacy?"

Helga jammed a disk into the DVD player, "This E! true hollywood story will tell all..." she said as the lights dimmed.

TEELABROWN

Saturday, May 8, 2004 1:29 PM

And for a while nothing happened. "Wait, just a sec." Helga ran up the machine, and hit it. All was silent. "Okay, this happens. I gotta go get another DVD. I'll be back." Helga left.

"Okay, so do we wait?" The Big Guy asked.

"Sure!" Ebo said. She wanted to hear the profecy.

"Okay then." the Hippie said.

"Might as well make sure nothing happens." Tash told Teela.

"Okay, I got a new DVD. Lemme get it set up." She put the DVD in, and it started...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Saturday, May 8, 2004 5:54 PM

The little people things sat down and began munching on popcorn.

Suddenly, the hippi and the Bug Guy appeared in the room.

"Hey! Down in front!" Ebo shouted.

Looking confused the Hippi and the Big Guy took a seat with the little people.

"Back before time began," the movie said, a cardboard model of what somebody thought the land before time began would look like, "There was nothing. And then, suddenly the Little People Things were formed from dirty socks from another dimention!"

The people things cheered.

"The were happy," the DVD continued, "But they were not happy. They were lacking a difinitve answer to the meaning of life. Then somebody found a tablet with writing on it. But the sock people were illeterate, and couldn't read it. But Ebo could. And she would come, and read it for them. The end."

Tash rolled his eyes, "That was the worst documentary I've ever seen. Ebo you gonna read this tablet already so we can leave?"

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

TEELABROWN

Sunday, May 9, 2004 12:21 AM

"I can read an anciet tablet? Wow, I can't not hardly get English. Sweet." Ebo said.

"What the? Nevermind. So, um, Helga, you, uh, got the tablet for us?" Teela asked.

"Nope. But I have a tablet that shows where THE Tablet is." Helga pulled out a a brand new looking tablet.

"That's ancient?" the Hippie asked.

"Yes. We just keep it in airtight containers, as have our ancestors." Helga replied.

The Big Guy took it. "Okay, Ebo, here you go."

"Um, okay." She began to read: "A one-ounce bird can't carry a one-pound coconut!"

Helga stopped the reading. "Sorry, that's the script that Monty Python stole from us. Try this one." Helga gave them another tablet.

"Okay Ebo, try again."

Ebo began to read. "And He shall- I'm not a guy!!!"

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Sunday, May 9, 2004 6:53 AM

Helga shrugged, "Typo, now keep reading."

Ebo sighed, "Ok. Lets see here...'Begning at the oasis, follow the river through the desert to the canyion of the cresent moon.'"

Tash knit his brows, "Now that sounds vaugly familiar..."

Ebo shrugged, "So go find me this tablet and I'll read it for you."

"No no, you don't understand," Helga said, shaking her head, "You have to find the tablet, then read it, then tell up what it said."

Ebo cringed, "does that involove walking?"

Helga nodded.

Ebo sighed, "What do i get out of it?"

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

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