Spanking now a felony in Texas

POSTED BY: Hardware
UPDATED: Wednesday, June 22, 2011 16:10
VIEWED: 7408
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MAGONSDAUGHTER

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 9:44 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheHappyTrader:
Just curious, is your experiences from raising your own year olds or did you work at a school or something. I don't mean to be insulting, just saying that if your experiences are based on your own children who were raised well enough not to engage in that kind of behavior, you expectations might be a little off.

My experiences working with children come from working in lower income school districts, working with community groups for children such as boys and girls clubs, and more recently working with children who have developmental delays or behavior issues. It's possible my expectations of typical 4 year old behavior are slanted more in the other direction.

My experiences are from working with families, as well as personal experience of having a child, being apart of a community that includes children, having extended family. I have both experiencial and theoretical knowledge of the developmental stages of childhood. Good enough for you?

Children's behaviour MEANS something. It's how they communicate their emotions and their needs, particularly prior to them learning how to adequately verbalise those things. A baby crying means something. It means they are hungry, wet, in pain, needing comfort. A good parent learns to distinguish between the types of cries to better understand what they mean. That continues on through childhood.

So you can either dismiss a childs behaviour as being naughty and simply punish a child, or believe it is just something children do and ignore it, or you can think about what that behavour might mean. Children have emotions that are real and important, contrary to what a lot of adults believe. Your experience may demonstrate that you work with a lot of angry, frustrated children.

That's not my theory based upon observation of my own child, that's the basis of child therapy.

THEHAPPYTRADER

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 10:08 AM

It didn't have to be 'good enough' I was just curious is all. And just because it could be considered normal does NOT mean it should be ignored. Quite the opposite, ignoring could lead to problems later on, not to mention immediate danger to the child and of course chess destruction.

I wasn't in the room with that child, but I am guessing he wasn't told NOT to break chess pieces till it started happening. Initial destruction could have been mere curiosity with continued destruction being the child rebeling against restrictions placed on their environment.

MAGONSDAUGHTER

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 10:19 AM

Happy, I'm not sure what your point of disagreement is? If a child is rebelling against his environment, then that behaviour is a clear statement of how he feels. He feels angry and frustrated. Therefore the behaviour means something.

THEHAPPYTRADER

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 10:49 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Magonsdaughter:
Happy, I'm not sure what your point of disagreement is? If a child is rebelling against his environment, then that behaviour is a clear statement of how he feels. He feels angry and frustrated. Therefore the behaviour means something.

Then perhaps we aren't disagreeing after all. I must have misinterpreted your meaning when you spoke of 'looking deeper' which I assumed meant looking for an abnormality or behavioral problem. I saw the behavior as fairly typical and not severe enough to warrant psychological concern, just active parenting, which is what all kids need anyways.

I suppose our only disagreement is what we consider 'normal,' but if we agree on the same solutions, then that's not much an issue.

MAGONSDAUGHTER

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 11:28 AM

No, no, not thinking that it was abnormal behaviour as such, just destructive. Was the kid pissed off about something is all I'd be wondering.

RIONAEIRE

Wednesday, June 22, 2011 5:04 AM

Hi World Sprayer, don't be put off by people being snot heads. I for one welcome your presence and opinions on this board. And don't let their talk about the military get you down. This board is totally uncensored meaning everyone can say exactly what they feel. So if someone is mean to you or disagrees with you you can talk trash right back, you can state facts to back up your position, you can say that this is how you believe, you can ignore them. Whatever you say will not be censored except by your own self in deciding what to write. I think you sound like an interesting and reasonable person.

I believe that spanking can be fine in certain situations as long as bruises aren't made. I think that if a parent chooses to use spanking as a child rearing tool it should only be used occasionally and saved for situations that require an immediate and clear punishment and it should only be used on children under the age of about 7, once they hit that point there are much clearer ways to communicate apropriate behavior to them. When I was little I can remember being spanked two, maybe three times. All of them were when I was blatently disobeying with rebellion as my intent. When spanked I remember understanding why clearly, I knew I was being spanked because I was behaving out rageously. The time I remember clearly was when I was throwing a huge tantrum, I was about four, because I didn't want to go to bed and finally, after trying to calm me down in more conventional ways my grandma popped me on the rear and I shaped up. So charging this woman with a felony is unnecessary and isn't solving anything. Its possible that she was charged because her kids were already taken away from her for worse offenses and this renewed her bad profile with DHS.

And unlike Frem I believe that spanking can be used affectively if the parents are clear about reasons and making sure the child gets it. Some children don't benefit at all from spanking, I think how a parent chooses to give punishment has to depend on the child and what their understanding level and needs are.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

MAGONSDAUGHTER

Wednesday, June 22, 2011 10:28 AM

And trying hard to be as respectful as possible, I believe that 'I was spanked as a child and it never did me any harm' is possibly one of the worst ever arguments in favour of spanking. Commonly used, but not a good one.

FREMDFIRMA

Wednesday, June 22, 2011 4:10 PM

I disagree, Riona, vehemently so - but then, you knew that.

I've seen too much of the damage it causes to ever think it a good idea - just cause they can't articulate it to you doesn't mean they don't take harm from it, and in fact those stages are where the risk of damage are the greatest, as Perry once again illustrates here.
http://www.trauma-pages.com/a/perry96.php

The brain is USE-DEPENDANT, if you start out teaching force and fear, that becomes the path of least resistance, you see.

-Frem

I do not serve the Blind God.

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