Spanking now a felony in Texas

POSTED BY: Hardware
UPDATED: Wednesday, June 22, 2011 16:10
VIEWED: 7408
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FREMDFIRMA

Sunday, June 19, 2011 10:00 PM

Re: Chessboard.

Why on earth did you let a 4yr old mess with an expensive, fragile chess set to begin with ?

Seriously, that's like leaving an open can of tuna on the counter and getting the mail, while expecting the cat not to have stuck their face in it - on what planet would you have to be for that expectation to make sense ?

I see your example as someone pawning their own negligence off on a child, and then using violence as a response - children act like children, expecting otherwise is inhumane.

Case in point, expecting said child NOT to jump in puddles and using violence to enforce it, or investing in detergent and rainboots.

In reference to this, and the notion of performance via reward, I offer you this, also by Doc Perry.

Emotional Development: Curiosity - The Fuel of Development
http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=4043

Quote:
Constrained Curiosity

For too many children, curiosity fades. Curiosity dimmed is a future denied. Our potential — emotional, social, and cognitive — is expressed through the quantity and quality of our experiences. And the less-curious child will make fewer new friends, join fewer social groups, read fewer books, and take fewer hikes. The less-curious child is harder to teach because he is harder to inspire, enthuse, and motivate.

There are three common ways adults constrain or even crush the enthusiastic exploration of the curious child:

fear
disapproval
absence

Fear: Fear kills curiosity. When the child's world is chaotic or when he is afraid, he will not like novelty. He will seek the familiar, staying in his comfort zone, unwilling to leave and explore new things. Children impacted by war, natural disasters, family distress, or violence all have their curiosity crushed.

Disapproval: "Don’t touch. Don’t climb. Don’t yell. Don’t take that apart. Don’t get dirty. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t." Children sense and respond to our fears, biases, and attitudes. If we convey a sense of disgust at the mud on their shoes and the slime on their hands, their discovery of tadpoles will be diminished.

Absence: The presence of a caring, invested adult provides two things essential for optimal exploration:

sense of safety from which to set out to discover new things and
the capacity to share the discovery and, thereby, get the pleasure and reinforcement from that discovery.

I happen to know a family with wayyy more hassle in that regard than normal, Kira, aka "Crash" is prolly THE most inadvertently destructive being I've *ever* met - imagine your conventional tween, then imagine them loaded on amphetamines, and that this is their natural, normal state ALL THE FREAKIN TIME.
Without any known cause, mind you, her pediatrician is as baffled as anyone else, she's on no meds, nor anything dietary likely to have such effect, it's just who and how she is.

It's our very inability to accept things like that, which lead down such dark paths.

-Frem

I do not serve the Blind God.

PIRATENEWS

Sunday, June 19, 2011 10:25 PM

F1 and MotoGP boss Mad Max Mosley visits a Nazi bordello in London

Formula One and MotoGP cancel US GP after Texas outlaws spanking
http://dragonaters.blogspot.com/2011/06/motogp-cancels-us-gp-after-tex
as.html

FI boss Mad Max Mosley in Nazi porn gangbang
http://piratenews-tv.blogspot.com/2008/04/fi-boss-max-mosely-in-nazi-p
orn.html

Mad Max Mosley

MAGONSDAUGHTER

Monday, June 20, 2011 9:27 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Fremdfirma:

Re: Chessboard.

Why on earth did you let a 4yr old mess with an expensive, fragile chess set to begin with ?

Seriously, that's like leaving an open can of tuna on the counter and getting the mail, while expecting the cat not to have stuck their face in it - on what planet would you have to be for that expectation to make sense ?

I see your example as someone pawning their own negligence off on a child, and then using violence as a response - children act like children, expecting otherwise is inhumane.

Case in point, expecting said child NOT to jump in puddles and using violence to enforce it, or investing in detergent and rainboots.

And I might say that slamming chess pieces into a chess board to smash them is fairly destructive behaviour from a 4 year old. While a lot of parents think punishment, they might instead be better served by asking what was demonstrated by that behaviour. Children's behaviour is generally not random, and actually means something. Might it be that the 4 year old is majorly pissed off with Mum or Mum's boyfriend about something. 4 years olds often struggle to verbalise something that upsets them and show it through behaviour, so while you would be letting them know aforesaid behaviour is unacceptable, you'd also be wanting to look a bit deeper as to why this child needs to destroy things.

Very young children, it can be pretty difficult to stop the destruction.

THEHAPPYTRADER

Monday, June 20, 2011 10:13 AM

This is a 4 year old, they do break things just to break things. Curiosity, visual, tactile or auditory stimulation, or perhaps just a cry for attention. It's possible this is a sign of deeper troubles, but that's not a conclusion I would jump to. Not unless the child was trying to hurt themselves through breaking the pieces.

MAGONSDAUGHTER

Monday, June 20, 2011 10:58 AM

Not my experience with 4 year olds. Break things accidentally, yes. Be careless with something, perhaps. But to smash something, be reprimanded and them go back and do it again. I'd be looking deeper.

THEHAPPYTRADER

Monday, June 20, 2011 10:54 PM

Just curious, is your experiences from raising your own year olds or did you work at a school or something. I don't mean to be insulting, just saying that if your experiences are based on your own children who were raised well enough not to engage in that kind of behavior, you expectations might be a little off.

My experiences working with children come from working in lower income school districts, working with community groups for children such as boys and girls clubs, and more recently working with children who have developmental delays or behavior issues. It's possible my expectations of typical 4 year old behavior are slanted more in the other direction.

BYTEMITE

Monday, June 20, 2011 11:35 PM

The one good thing about not responding to punishment is that whenever I was punished for swimming in the duck pond for snail shells or stomping in puddles or tearing my clothes, I completely forgot the lesson about a minute after the punishment ended. Which was usually soon, because I could guilt trip like no one's business. They eventually just kinda gave up on me, and I raised myself to have the standards and value systems that I read about in books.

Also, I have a cousin with that kind of crazy hyperactivity.

KWICKO

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 12:39 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Bytemite:
The one good thing about not responding to punishment is that whenever I was punished for swimming in the duck pond for snail shells or stomping in puddles or tearing my clothes, I completely forgot the lesson about a minute after the punishment ended. Which was usually soon, because I could guilt trip like no one's business. They eventually just kinda gave up on me, and I raised myself to have the standards and value systems that I read about in books.

Yup. My old man was real big on just wailing on us with whatever fell to hand - belt, switch, 2x4, piece of pipe, fist, whatever - and wailing us until we cried, then wailing us for crying, yelling "Knock it off, or I'll give you something to REALLY cry about!"

After a while, I would just go blank, and not give any reaction at all, and it would eventually stop. Thing is, it never made me think "I've done something wrong; that's why this is happening." I just knew that what was happening was what was wrong, not my behavior, but HIS reaction.

"Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservatives." - John Stuart Mill

BYTEMITE

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 1:49 AM

It wasn't so meta for me, I just didn't care about whatever it was they were trying to teach me. Also, no impulse control.

The downside is that in real life I act like I was raised by wolves, and there's plenty of social concepts that will not make sense to me.

FREMDFIRMA

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 8:45 AM

That's not necessarily a bad thing - case in point, how my familys racism never stuck with me.

Some of our social concepts are not, by my own moral standards, anything but foul - why accept them just cause everyone else does ?

-Frem

Select to view spoiler:

Kyubey, you just got *bitched*!

ALL HAIL MADOKA !!
personal in-joke, and surprisingly relative

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