Kids of lesbians have fewer behavioral problems, study suggests
POSTED BY: Niki2
UPDATED: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 02:03
VIEWED: 4422
PAGE 4 of 4
There's nothing natural about the traditional nuclear family. Humans evolved to live in larger tribal groups like the other great apes.
I still think the that this study has a huge amount of selection bias inherent though.
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If you play a Microsoft CD backwards you can hear demonic voices. The scary part is that if you play it forwards it installs Windows.
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Moose, there's times when no parent is preferable to a bad one - I am right damned glad my "father" had the sense to get out of dodge before things got uglier than they did, and if the choice is between an incompetent or abusive parent and none at all, generally they're better off without.
You have a bias too, and it shows - but while you concentrated your argument on the influence of fathers on sons, lemme add this bit for you.
A good father figure is a very important thing for girls too, it's their first experience with someone who is both male, and a figure of authority, who's affections and approval have nothing to do with sex.
Not sayin it's an absolute necessity, but a lot of girls, especially those with other problems, wind up with approval-affection "issues" wrapped around a lack of understanding that approval-affection, and sex are not directly related, and so on and so forth - it's an opportunity to teach by example that should not be missed if it is available, although I have my own issues with blind fanatic crusder types in part cause they've made fathers *afraid* to express affection or approval lest they be accused of something, which teaches exactly the opposite lesson, neh ?
I don't think it's ever a matter of sexual orientation, religion, or whatever other factor so much as whether a parent is involved, and trying to BE an effective parent, which isn't the easiest thing in the world for most folk, in between the struggle to keep the bills paid, dragging their own child-parent baggage and unresolved issues, and the constant bombardment of mixed messages most children recieve from a society and educational system which seems to have gone off the deep end.
So in the end it doesn't really matter, one parent, two, three - gay, straight, athetist, believer, not a whole lot, it really matters how much they CARE, how much they TRY.
Which is, of course, due to the small sample size, lack of a control group, and failure to account for other factors, why this study doesn't really "prove" a whole lot of anything - especially since the main factor they were trying to research is so bloody obvious I don't see the point of why they bothered.
The real key is empathy, the ability to understand other humans, and something in my discussion previous with Anthony strikes me at this moment as part of the reason I can get through to seriously messed up kids so effectively.
Some few folk, but maybe fewer than I thought, can flip this little switch in their heads and examine something from a male or female viewpoint - not well, mind, but well enough for understanding to happen, I dunno if it's inborn, a response to the need, or some combination, but I do know I can do it(1), and my ex can do it too, having worked for so long in the male-dominated corporate ranks of the auto-industry, which lead to our relationship at the time being an exact match for the classic 1950s with the gender roles reversed.
(you do NOT want that girl trying to cook!)
But I realized the switch has three positions, cause I can kick it right into the mindset of a child too - which given how painful and repressed a lot of those memories are, not just due to abuse but often the harshness of experience-teaching lessons, most folks can't, they block it out, wall it off, cause it's too painful and so they suppress that information, which I think is a disservice to their parenting ability, cause being able to put things in a fashion the child can understand is well worth the trouble, and seeing it from both ends can actually lessen the trauma of those memories in an adult.
Oh, and PhoenixRose - don't tempt me so!
Especially not with Wendy and her damn "Hikaru Genji Plan" gettin on my nerves, however begrudgingly she's accepted spoiled-bratty-daughter as a consolation prize, Yuriko with her apparently serious insistence imma damn Kitsunetsuki and apparently having some kinda thing for that, and at least one "local" girl who's advances are so mechani
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