#2 Ponders Anakin versus River - who would win

POSTED BY: FutureMrsFIllion
UPDATED: Friday, April 20, 2007 00:44
VIEWED: 12873
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ZOID

Thursday, April 12, 2007 10:26 AM

Number2 replied:

Quote:
Ok, here goes my attempt to defend the most awesome person to ever be thought up.....

I kind of agree with you when you say the Jedi mind trick won't work. But I really don't think guns would cause Anakin any trouble at all. The bullets, though very fast and small, could not only be detected using the force but easily swept to the side before they were even close enough to bother deflecting with the Light Saber.

Also the reflexes of Jedi like Anakin are just to amazing to let bullets hit them. Unless she took him by suprise which I doubt she could because she would be detected by the force long before she got to him.

As you said, Force Choke and Force Lightning and all other knowledge of the force would bring her down before she could pull a trigger or do anything else for that matter.

I think it all comes down to his awesome Jedi skills and the force, which people seem to underestimate.

Okay, first off: Congratulations on an excellent first thread and post. I like your ability to argue your position. Welcome to the community.

Second, I think you overestimate the lie inherent in the Dark Side, to wit, that the Force makes you powerful, gives you dominion over others and Nature herself. Yoda -- the little green swamp thing -- is the most awesome Jedi ever imagined. You clearly have missed the entire point of Star Wars: Evil makes its own undoing. Excessive pride (Greek: hubris) leads to inevitable downfall.

Third and final, I can see you're not particularly open-minded on this subject, but River would win. Here's the brief supporting evidence:
1. Bullets from a gunpowder firearm would be effective in a way energy bolts from a blaster would not. Unlike massless laser bolts, a bullet has considerable mass, compounded by high velocity, made trickier to evade by the fact that the Jedi could not track several projectiles that leave no visible evidence of their position and trajectory. Bullets would be a different proposal for Jedi. Think Indiana Jones vs. sword wielder in "Raiders of the Lost Ark"

2. The Jedi were all struck down by overwhelming firepower. Jedi are not invincible. As others have pointed out, Whine-ikin is notably twice vincible.

3. River shoots and kills three assailants, with her eyes closed in "War Stories". She's good with guns, to put it mildly.

Conclusions:
Whine-ikin is not some superhuman. To the extent that he thinks he is, this is only the result of the Dark Side Lie. Belief in that Lie leads him to overestimate his abilities and ultimately to his own defeat (as in the penultimate scene in RotS). Firearms are not seen in SW; if they were, the Jedi would need something more than that which is in their known arcanum to provide defense against such weaponry. The greatest swordsmen of all time (for argument's sake, the samurai) were laid low by farmers with firearms, despite their excellent prowess with a sword.

River would win. So would Mal. So would Zoe. Jayne might get mind-tricked...

Respectfully,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'

DIRTWEED

Thursday, April 12, 2007 1:49 PM

Jayne would definately get mind tricked! LOL!

Now we all know Luke is a better Jedi...

Now Yoda on the other hand would win. He would be just too cute for River to ignore and he would get in close for a hug and zap her. LOL!

Dirtweed

Shiny! I got my picture back.

FOLLOWMAL

Thursday, April 12, 2007 2:10 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Dirtweed:

Jayne would definately get mind tricked! LOL!

Now we all know Luke is a better Jedi...

Now Yoda on the other hand would win. He would be just too cute for River to ignore and he would get in close for a hug and zap her. LOL!

Dirtweed

Shiny! I got my picture back.

River and Yoda would never fight, they'd sit down and have a conversation. Without speaking.

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SINGATE

Thursday, April 12, 2007 4:32 PM

I can't believe this thing is still going. Anyway I'll take another swing at the whole firearms thing. I have to believe the whole TK aspect of the force would render projectile weapons useless. On the off chance a Jedi didn't pull the gun from a would be attackers hand they should still be able to prevent the bullets from striking their body.

_________________________________________________

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

FLATTOP

Thursday, April 12, 2007 5:07 PM

In short: River wins.

She and Anakin square off, she reads him in half a heartbeat or less, and knows him & all of his dirty little secrets & insecurities.
He touches her mind and is (at least momentarily) stunned by the crazy that lies within.
River puts on her best Momma Skywalker voice and says, "You left her to die. You knew she would before you left, but you did it anyway. Then you killed everyone else who might ever know what a [insert Chinese string here] you are."
In the ensuing angst, she takes his light sabre & opens him from pubis to chin.

As an aside:
Wouldn't there have been little "101 things everyone should know about Jedi" pamphlets or downloads or somesuch available? Padme' should have known Anakin was evil about two minutes after she re-met him. Even spotting her an interest in 'bad boys' wouldn't cover falling for the version of Anakin that we were exposed to.

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FUTUREMRSFILLION

Thursday, April 12, 2007 5:09 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by FlyVote:
I have an overwhelming desire to come up with some sort of fanwank to get River to win.

How 'bout this:

Anakin tries to use the force on River. River reads his mind, instantly understands fully (can I say grok here? Can I?) all that Anakin knows about the force and uses his only advantage against him. She kills him without bothering to look up from Book's shredded bible.

Then the Enterprise uses its deflector shield to... oh wait... Too much wanking.

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I grok, you grok, we all grok!

I am seeing some really good points here for both sides. Still not convinced though. I am River all the way.

I have to say this is making for interesting evenings in the FMF household!

#2 you rock!

mom

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EVILDINOSAUR

Thursday, April 12, 2007 5:10 PM

Sorry to say anakin would crush river, he could do it literally if he wanted to. River is a fantastic fighter, but against someone with the force, especially someone that powerful with it, she wouldn't stand a chance.

"Haha, mine is an evil laugh."

MSG

Thursday, April 12, 2007 5:13 PM

Hey Number2 glad to have you here and all!! Also good thread started. You've got everyone talking. I would like to point out that the force choke might be difficult to use while bleeding from your eyes..and if River possess the same skills as the hands of blue it'd be more of a mind duel and I don't think Anakin's got the balls to go toe to toe with her. He's indecisive and easily manipulated. He doesn't have much force of will. At a later point ( years into being Darth Vader) sure he might be able to , but as he's just turning to the dark side, he's not all that confident. Also, he's simply too easy to manipulate to be all that strong willed mentally.

"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

FLYVOTE

Thursday, April 12, 2007 5:19 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
I grok, you grok, we all grok!

Round Two.

Anakin not using the force, but using any cooked pasta as a weapon, no sauce. Evil looks are OK.

River gets to shout weird stuff and throw half-eaten ice planets. And dance.

Discuss.

Edit: How old is #2? Nice post, that.

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ALLIETHORN7

Thursday, April 12, 2007 8:10 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
Hey Number2 glad to have you here and all!! Also good thread started. You've got everyone talking. I would like to point out that the force choke might be difficult to use while bleeding from your eyes..and if River possess the same skills as the hands of blue it'd be more of a mind duel and I don't think Anakin's got the balls to go toe to toe with her.

I don't think that River could make Anakin bleed out of his eyes without using her nails. And, less I'm mistaken (I ain't found the comic yet, so I may very well be wrong), the Blue Hands needed to use that lil' rod thingy to make folks bleed all eye-y and ear-y and nose-y like. Just a thought. River still owns Anakin by force of craziness and kick ass fighting skills, although it may well be a closer battle then I think. Unless there's a video game for it, we'll never know.

Having fun yet?

-Danny

I wanna take the Bullet,
The one aimed straight for your Heart;
I wanna meet the wolves halfway,
And let them Tear me APART,
But that's not the way they do it here...
THRICE RULES!!!!!!!!!

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