Male and Female Imponderables, the Third
POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Thursday, May 18, 2006 01:06
VIEWED: 17787
PAGE 14 of 20
Mmm. Could possibly be a touchy subject, Tayeatra. Is could be that he is trying to remain friends, and this is a gesture along those lines. Could be he is still interested in you and is trying a different approach. I do not think he is setting a trap for you. In his shoes, if I still liked you and knew you did not feel the same, I would still try to stay close to you...not stalker-like, but friendly. And buying things like tickets would be "friendly" without being overbearing.
So, buy the popcorn, enjoy the movie, and don't think too heavily into motive. Or, seek other advice, because I may be barking up the wrong tree. See what the other females think...I am sure I missed something!
Holding until you get back, Captain.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dayve:Quote:
Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
the moans of pleasure I make when I eat Dim Sum!
ah, so that what they mean when they say the "Exotic Cuisine of the Far East..." or is it maybe the Erotic Cuisine...
I knew you'd laugh at me! [pouts]
That's it, I'm confiscating your spring rolls!
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Well, from a females point of view. He "says" its just friends, but in his heart its a date.
In my experience, once the "i'm into you" has been let out of the bag - it takes a long time, if ever to get to the "just friends" again, and to get there you need a little anger first.
Its up to you. Be very open that you are happy to go and buy the popcorn, but you are going as if you and I as mates were going and I said - I'll buy the tickets, you buy the drink.
(also, he is getting the better end of the deal -considering the cost of snacks!)
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Hey Emma I'm not laughing.
Sooo anyway how you doing (channeling Joey from friends). Mind if I come sit at your table?
Oh goodness how I crack myself up! 
An I carried such a torch
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
See what the other females think...I am sure I missed something!
Holding until you get back, Captain.
I agree with Tristan but with one extra point. Insist on buying him a drink or something next time you go out 'to pay him back'. That way you can accept his kindness whilst still subtelly reinforcing your independance and the just friends thing.
I had a major problem with this kind of thing at Uni. There was a guy that didn't seem to have many friends in the sci-fi club (that I was captain of
) so I went out of my way to be nice to him. Turns out there was a reason! He was very odd. Kept trying to hit on me even after I'd told him (in much less subtle ways that I was used to) that I wasn't interested. In the end he turned up at my birthday party and started hitting on all my friends (of both sexes which really freaked some of them out!)He still texts and e-mails me sometimes (which is freaky since I never gave him my number) but I just ignore him.
I'm sure your friend is much nicer though, and much less creepy! It's the story of my life though that I don't have the confidence to talk to anyone I fancy, just to the ones I don't, thereby giving them the wrong idea!
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Thanks for the idea about buying him a drink and making it clear I'm paying him back for the ticket. I'm glad you guys managed to get why it's complicated, I can never work out whether I'm reading too much into things or if I have legitimate concerns.
Oh, and Em
Quote:
It's the story of my life though that I don't have the confidence to talk to anyone I fancy, just to the ones I don't, thereby giving them the wrong idea!
Are you sure this came from your life story because it's word for word like a prominent chapter in mine.
*****
Taya
*****
Dark Angel, Firefly, Buffy, Angel, Enterprise, Farscape... anything else you'd like to cancel?
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Tayeatra -
I had one of these. After we went out once I told him I didn't want to date, and that seemed fine. We had a brother/sister relationship for years and it worked fine, even though it seemed hard on him when I dated others. I even crashed at his house a few times, sharing the bed, but platonically.
Then last year he got a permanent girlfriend, and I think it was too weird for him to be around me while dating her. We quit hanging out. So sad! I miss the friendship.
Point being, I think you can have a friendship in that situation if you're clear as to your intent, but it's on shaky foundations. I don't think it was easy on him, and it makes me sad now. I'm not sure I'd do it the same.
m
-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.
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I hate that! I lost a lot of my friends because they got girlfiends or in recent years wives.
I understand but it still hurts. My fault I guess.
An I carried such a torch
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One thing that bothers me is the issue of why males and females can't be friends without "something" there. I will admit that I am as guilty as anyone for wanting something more with a female friend than she is interested in giving, but that has never cost me a friendship. I have had several female friends, some of whom I had a crush on, and some not, but they are usually the most loyal, understanding counterpart you can have. I did not lose them when they began dating or married (although I have lost touch with a few because of distance), and never felt jealous. I guess it's weird, but I am sure there are several other males here that feel the way I do.
Holding until you get back, Captain.
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Quote:
Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
I knew you'd laugh at me!
That's it, I'm confiscating your spring rolls!
Hands off of the spring rolls - (my favorite)...
and i was not laughing at you... i just need to hang out at Win Hing a little more...
Oh, and the fake orgasm thing... I have to give it up to Meg Ryan, in the movie - When Sally met ...somebody Harry? Larry... i don't remember (i know guys shouldn't be watching chick-flicks, but that was hi-larious)...best fake orgasm ever on film....
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