Thirteenth floor: hidey triskaidekaphobia is nice.

POSTED BY: cozen
UPDATED: Saturday, March 11, 2006 13:47
VIEWED: 21152
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XEROGRAVITY

Monday, March 6, 2006 1:33 AM

River90210:

Call me chivalrous, but I ain't never hit a woman. Met a few I'd like to choke in my day..

**starts shadow-boxing, humming the Rocky theme, warming up for the fight**

Bring it on eco-feminist chic.

Also, tell the ref it's 6'1" and 185 lbs... handsome and dashing to the last. Be forewarned, I was a gladiatorial cage-fighter trained in the nun-chuks back in my wild nomadic days. And my super-hero suit is brown suede (a coat, a browncoat).

XG

No such thing as gravity. The "Earth-that-was" just sucks.

XEROGRAVITY

Monday, March 6, 2006 1:37 AM

I forgot to mention... I also had a side-job where I wore a gorilla suit and stomped on Samsonite luggage.

**shout's "Adrieeeeeeeen"**

RIVER6213

Monday, March 6, 2006 2:04 AM

ESBN - FORUM SPORTS NETWORK was brought to you by:
Samsonite luggage, the luggage that gets you there, and also by:
Fruity Oaty bars
****Make a man out of a mouse****

*** The referee moves off to the side, and the crowd grows livid with excitement backed by catcalls, and chants… RIVER, RIVER, RIVER!!!!***

"River 90210? Eco-feminist chic?" River thinks angrily as she sets her jaw and moves towards Xerogravity who is arrogantly standing in the middle of the ring...

ESBN Reporter #1: “River6213 looks to be in fine shape. It looks like her strategy will be to get a fast knockout on Xerogravity early instead of going the whole 15 rounds with him”

ESBN Reporter #2: “Who can forget last months fight when River6213 went toe to toe with The Citizen, and the major upset in all of forum, boxing history when he knocked her down? That was definitely a 1st for her”

ESBN Reporter #1: “Yeah, I know, we were there, and I still can’t believe it. She’s a veteran of many forums, and to have had that happen, especially at the height of her forum, fighting career proved to be damaging. Rumor has it that she hoping a quick take-down of Xerogravity might restore her title as number #1 smack-talker”

ESBN Reporter #2: “Well, we will see about that. Looks like River making a move…”

Xerogravity, You cruise all over this forum, doing your best to piss people off. I noticed that you disagree with people not because you are trying to make any relevant points, but you disagree with them for the sole purpose of pissing them off…that is your whole purpose; that’s your whole act. You just want to be Mr. Devils Advocate. Face it, you just are a mean person...you like being mean...you are a mean man.”

ESBN Reporter #1: “Wow, that punch to Xerogravity’s head looked like it had to hurt”

ESBN Reporter #2: “That’s nothing. Xerogravity’s taken more then that in his day. River6213’s going to have to do better than that.”

ESBN Reporter #1: "Oh, I have a feeling that she will"

XEROGRAVITY

Monday, March 6, 2006 6:42 AM

River:

I ain't trying to piss anyone off. But I apparently succeed in doing so (whether I intended to or not).

Do you honestly think I would swing on a woman?

I'd let you beat me senseless (and probably to the point of death) before I'd ever take a swing at you or any other woman for that matter. I'd laugh the whole time.

But if you're in a dark alley facing thugs you'd never wish for a better ally. I'm the last of my kind.

Chivalry ain't dead. But chivalrous fools are prolly getting murdered by women like you.

Death by a 1000 paper cuts.

XG

RIVER6213

Monday, March 6, 2006 7:32 AM

WWWWhat??? You are not gonna fight me because I'm a woman??? What the hell is this? You WILL fight me. You will. So fraking what if I'm a woman? So what if I'm crazy, or insane?...you WILL fight me. Don't give me that honor crap!
This is not fair. I engaged in jedi training for this...I trained for weeks! Now you give me this BS about not hitting a woman?
***Sigh***

*** HOLODECK PROGRAM 00ALPHA-501: RIVER6213 VS XEROGRAVITY ENDED ***

This is all so no fair. Men have without a doubt have beat the crap out of women throughout history. Now we get the so-called "enlightened" man who is afraid to engage in a simple argument with a women in a chat room???? Something is wrong here.
*** place soundless scream here ***

Maybe I'm insane. Maybe I've finally gone over the edge, and I think I might have. So, this is what the edge looks like? I've always wondered about those people you see from time to time walking about, talking to themselves, and pushing a grocery cart full of garbage, now I know HOW they got there.

You could have gone along with all of this. We all could have had a good laugh at ourselves being clever and stupid at the same time. We could have all been witty, clever and it would have been fun for all involved, but noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! You had to play Mr. Sensitivity Man, which is surprising because you are always mean to people, which is the reason I picked your sorry azz for this.

I'm at the height of my career. I am the best there is in my field. I make so much money now that I dont have to worry about anything, but here I sit, in this Firefly chat room trying to gain the respect of you brown coats who are like some kinda weird snobs from another dimension, who could care less about anyone, or anything. What the frak am I doing? What does this all mean? So now I know what it means to be insane. Citizen was right! I think I better go find a good shrink and make him/her rich, and figure out what the frak is wrong with me.

Or better yet, I think I'll go jump into the lake.

You can join me if thats your thing.

River

SERYN

Monday, March 6, 2006 8:28 AM

[ whisper ]Psssssst... River, we're all on the Fourteenth floor!
You're welcome to join us, even he is, but you have to play nice!
[ /whisper ]

Oh, Xero, please, cut the sexist crap, some woman is hitting you? you hit her right back.

Besides *grin* what would your mates say if they found out you'd been beaten up by a 90lb girl?

right, thats my requisit quote for the day

**********************************************************
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. O.W.

RIVER6213

Monday, March 6, 2006 10:01 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by seryn:
[ whisper ]Psssssst... River, we're all on the Fourteenth floor!
You're welcome to join us, even he is, but you have to play nice!
[ /whisper ]

Oh, Xero, please, cut the sexist crap, some woman is hitting you? you hit her right back.

Besides *grin* what would your mates say if they found out you'd been beaten up by a 90lb girl?

right, thats my requisit quote for the day

**********************************************************
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. O.W.

Seryn, you gentle soul. You have always had a kind word for me, and for that I thank you from the bottom of what little heart I have left.

River

RIVER6213

Monday, March 6, 2006 9:54 PM

So much for having a forum fight with Xerogravity. He ran like a whipped pup! What's the matter Xerogravity, afraid you were gonna get beatup by a crazy woman? And after all I the training I did to prepare... Oh, well, so much for the big fight on the Thirteenth floor.

Xerogravity you chicken!

XEROGRAVITY

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 1:55 PM

I'm gonna do something I've never done before River90210... I'm gonna tell you a personal story from my life...

Once upon a time, I was driving down the highway and I saw some nutjob beating the livin fuck out of his girlfriend. Why? Only they know.

I drove my jeep over the median strip and put it in park, all macho-like.

I got out, stopped him from beating on his woman, and next thing I know, the witch is on my back. I mean literally, on my back. I laid him out with one punch, and next thing I know that crazy bitch stabbed me in my forehead with a knife (I got the scar dead-center on my melon to prove it).

She wasn't fuckin around either. She wanted to kill my ass, was aiming for the eyes I'd imagine. Nothin like a knife in the brain to end your existence, right through the eyesockets.

"Get off my boyfriend..." (followed by every name in the book I'd imagine) was all I heard.

I thought I was being all heroic-like. Instead, I encountered a crazy-woman who prolly was gettin an ass-beating she secretly desired (and deserved).

There ain't no heroic end to this story. No profound pronouncements of worthwhile memory. I was speechless... threw her off my back, bloodied from the knifewound, couldn't believe I was being attacked by a woman I'd just tried to save. I climbed inside my jeep and sped the fuck out of dodge. I had nothin to say cuz frankly I couldn't believe that woman would attack me for defending her. I wish I could go back and say something, anything. But you just can't imagine how insanely twisted this sort of thing is. I think it's normal nowadays.

From now on, I see someone (anyone) gettin fucked up on the side of the road, they are on their own. But hey. Everyone in this day and age is fuckin mentally ill.

That was the last time I'll ever get in the middle of other people's trouble. Those fuckers should kill each other on "Jerry Springer". Not in public.

XG

and PS... feel free to retire to "the elite" floor 14: this was always my private floor to begin with... ain't the penthouse, but sure as hell ain't the basement either. My own, private hell *winkNshit*

No such thing as gravity. The "Earth-that-was" just sucks.

RIVER6213

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 6:53 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by XeroGravity:
I'm gonna do something I've never done before River90210... I'm gonna tell you a personal story from my life...

Once upon a time, I was driving down the highway and I saw some nutjob beating the livin fuck out of his girlfriend. Why? Only they know.

I drove my jeep over the median strip and put it in park, all macho-like.

I got out, stopped him from beating on his woman, and next thing I know, the witch is on my back. I mean literally, on my back. I laid him out with one punch, and next thing I know that crazy bitch stabbed me in my forehead with a knife (I got the scar dead-center on my melon to prove it).

She wasn't fuckin around either. She wanted to kill my ass, was aiming for the eyes I'd imagine. Nothin like a knife in the brain to end your existence, right through the eyesockets.

"Get off my boyfriend..." (followed by every name in the book I'd imagine) was all I heard.

I thought I was being all heroic-like. Instead, I encountered a crazy-woman who prolly was gettin an ass-beating she secretly desired (and deserved).

There ain't no heroic end to this story. No profound pronouncements of worthwhile memory. I was speechless... threw her off my back, bloodied from the knifewound, couldn't believe I was being attacked by a woman I'd just tried to save. I climbed inside my jeep and sped the fuck out of dodge. I had nothin to say cuz frankly I couldn't believe that woman would attack me for defending her. I wish I could go back and say something, anything. But you just can't imagine how insanely twisted this sort of thing is. I think it's normal nowadays.

From now on, I see someone (anyone) gettin fucked up on the side of the road, they are on their own. But hey. Everyone in this day and age is fuckin mentally ill.

That was the last time I'll ever get in the middle of other people's trouble. Those fuckers should kill each other on "Jerry Springer". Not in public.

XG

and PS... feel free to retire to "the elite" floor 14: this was always my private floor to begin with... ain't the penthouse, but sure as hell ain't the basement either. My own, private hell *winkNshit*

No such thing as gravity. The "Earth-that-was" just sucks.

Xerogravity,

STOP CALLING ME RIVER90210!!!

Anyway...where was I? Oh. Back when I was younger, prettier, angrier, and much more of a smart-mouth than I am today, I dated a lot of men. None of them would have dared to abuse me physically because it was clear to them that they most likely would die by way of gunshot to the head, which of course I would have been sent to a female, correctional facility for the next 5 or 10 years, and treated to sexual assaults by way of toilet-plunger, by “Big Berth, and the Sunshine girls” The guys I dated all knew that I practiced at the shooting club all the time and some of them would join me, and those guys were impressed with my gun collection, and my ability to shoot the hairs off a flies ass from a very far distance.

But if I had accidentally picked a knuckle-dragging, Neanderthal, and while driving back from some club he started some crap that ended with us, on the side of the road, with him kicking the crap out of me, and some unknown guy in a jeep pulls up, drags my abusive boyfriend off of me and kicks his ass right there…I would have been thankful, and as a reward for this unsuspecting hero, I would have called him “My Hero” taken him home regardless if he were married or not, and let him fuck me senseless.

Xerogravity, even though you are a complete jerk and God’s just waiting for you to die so he can kick your ass up close and personal, what you did for that stupid girl was an act of true heroism…even though that bitch couldn’t see it, and its too bad that your only reward for your heroic efforts were insults and a knife to the head. You didn’t deserve that at all.

River

You still are a wimp for running away from me when I was trying to fight you.

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