The Sereni-Tree, settling in, Twister, more piratey angst, and continuing adventures on Boros
POSTED BY: TheRealMe
UPDATED: Friday, February 3, 2006 02:04
VIEWED: 30314
PAGE 14 of 21
*tries desperately to hide the look on his face, you know that look of a man who's just been given both barrels of a sawed-off at point blank strait to the heart*
Yes, right, the tour. Very important tour, it looks like it may be starting up again. Let's join the rest of the group.
*Motions for the lovely ladies to move forward with him, and quickly, quietly takes a few steps back and spins on his heel. Returns to the zoo. Here he slumps against the wall and drops to a sitting position. Pulls out Jacks bottle of rum tips it up and drains it into his gut. Replaces the bottle and slumps over, waiting patiently to be eaten by the friendly Frederick the dinosaur.*
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jadehand:
*tries desperately to hide the look on his face, you know that look of a man who's just been given both barrels of a sawed-off at point blank strait to the heart*
Yes, right, the tour. Very important tour, it looks like it may be starting up again. Let's join the rest of the group.
*Motions for the lovely ladies to move forward with him, and quickly, quietly takes a few steps back and spins on his heel. Returns to the zoo. Here he slumps against the wall and drops to a sitting position. Pulls out Jacks bottle of rum tips it up and drains it into his gut. Replaces the bottle and slumps over, waiting patiently to be eaten by the friendly Frederick the dinosaur.*
A hand reaches down from above and liberates the bottle from JH's grasp. JH looks up to SR standing over him taking a serious pull on the bottle.
"SR I thought you left,"
"I did, a week ago, but I forgot something. Here this is for my captain." SR hands JH a envelope and takes another strong pull from the bottle.
"You forgot to give this to the captain?" JH says indicating the envelope.
SR shakes his head. "No I forgot to get a drink." he hands the bottle back to JH and turns to go. "must be dashing,"
"A week? You've been gone for less than a hour." JH struggles to his feet.
SR turns the next corner. His voice is still audible. "No you've been here for less than an hour since I left. I've been gone a week."
JH walks around the corner to find a very empty hallway. JH looks at the bottle in his left hand and the envelope in his right and wonders if a twelve step program is in order.
Scorpion Regent
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Quote:
Originally posted by ScorpionRegent:
....wonders if a twelve step program is in order.
*Wanders up to ScorpionRegent and Jadehand, bottle(s) in hand.*
Hey, fellers.
*cozen procures a handy couple bottles of Oban.*
Truth is, I'm kinda lost and confused. F'rinstance, the fine Sereni-womenfolk be ignorin' me, and, heh, who can blame 'em, eh? 'Disoriented' might work. Drink?
***
Um, am I PR's granddaddy? It's all so complicated....
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A list of the crew and passengers of the Sereni-Tree? Well, I include one of those in each "TheRealMe's Guide to the Sereni-Tree". However, I will reproduce the crew list here, updated to match the latest events.
The Crew and Passengers of the Sereni-Tree
Bluefishie: Often just wanders around the ship. Has pet blue fishies. Power: “Magic” marker.
CallMeAth aka Ath: With Lissa, creator of the kissies; Powers: pyro-kinesis, predictive parrying, and wings.
CallMeSerenity aka Serenity (Gardener): Ath’s sister; built greenhouse in cargo bay; mother-to-be; Power: flight via blue-white angelic wings.
CastIronJack: One of the Brothers Grimm. Perhaps a bit high-strung. Currently on Boros.
Citizen: A businessman of Boros dealing with Safe, Jack, and two Brides, who has not yet set foot on the Sereni-Tree.
Cozen aka The Infinite Goof: Kidnaps women and subjects them to pleasurable torture; Power: insect and clone creation / control.
Ebonezer aka Ebo (Captain): Exuberant, impulsive; nest under the pool table; Power: speaks to any creature.
Elwoodmom (Mom): Knows what is best for us; occasionally stops by to give advice; Powers: eyes in the back of her head and other “Mom” powers.
Emma: Space-going entrepreneur (thief). Owns (stolen) spherical spaceship. Faints at the slightest danger. Currently MIA.
ItsAWash: Curious newcomer.
Jadehand aka BlackJackRackham, Keeper of the Rum: As Rackham, pirate from the Sea of Wings, from Rose’s ship. Drinks copious amounts of rum. Ex- husband of ThatWeirdGirl. Power: Refilling rum bottle (but only as Jack).
Jake7: Volunteers for all the hard missions; enjoys a game of pool. Power: force field-projecting gadget.
Jazaf: Master swordsman, mystery man, Sensei to Bride2; Power: metal-shaping.
KellyofLuthien (Cook): Red-headed Elf woman interested in Ath. Pleasant, helpful. Powers: Immortality, Elvish magic; wielder of Narya, Ring of Fire
LightMeDark aka LMD aka Elemdee: Somehow arrived drunk from the eighth floor of a skyscraper? Interested in Mai. Powers: banana powers?
Lissa: With Ath, creator of the kissies; tends to prefer the calmer times (and jacuzzis).
Mai (Cruise Director): Not an attack-and-kill kind of girl; has pet dinosaur Frederick; sometimes disappears and has to be quested for. Power: light generation.
Malicious (Mistress Most High): Regal and self-assured Goddess-Queen; Powers: thread-jacking, charisma, and beauty. (Not seen in a very long time; perhaps still enjoying the World’s Most Comfortable Chair).
Monkeytail: Former cabana boy of the Forgotten Not A Guy/Girl Clubhouse. Admits to being a bit lazy.
MontanaGirl (MedAssistant and Vet); Likes Cozen’s kidnapping methods. Likes things to go boom! NASCAR fan.
Needleseye (Assistant Engineer): Aquatic carnivorous faerie creature; shapeshifts to monster; creates flowers.
NoSkillz (Security Deputy): Something of a gunslinger. Has a pet tiger Shadow.
Piffle101: Breeder of piffleponies.
PsychicRiver (Security Deputy): Son of TWG and SimonWho from the future. Just a little crazy; knits; Powers: telepathy, precognition, telekinesis.
Rat (Acquisitions Officer): Troublemaker; messes with things; Power: inventor, weather prediction, elemental blasts.
Safeat2nd: One of the Brothers Grimm. A pilot. Currently on Boros.
ScorpionRegent: Brown haired, red-bearded pirate formerly with Nell’s crew. Very competent fighter. Powers: Appears and disappears from nowhere, with time shifts; Piratey Angst.
Seryn aka VoodooNell : Has bag of holding, shapeshifting formula, and trained attack bunnies. Masquerading as Nell, a pirate captain from the Sea of Wings, sister to Rose.
SimonWho (Physician): Helpful, friendly, annoys women he likes; Power: Timelord; blue box; destroys entire planets
SoulofSerenity aka Soul (Security Chief): Ar
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Well, since we have acquired a lot of new folks lately, I think it might be worthwhile to go through a list of job openings that we might have on the Sereni-Tree.
Newcomer KellyOfLuthien has taken on the task of Ship’s Cook, much to our glee. It is possible that she could use an assistant, or perhaps we could add a Ship’s Baker or a Ship’s Brewer.
With the triumphant return of SoulOfSerenity from the dead, we are no longer lacking a Security Chief. However, since all four Zoe-clones dissolved a number of threads ago, he has been looking for Security deputies. So far, it seems that he has picked PsychicRiver, N0Skillz, and the latter’s tiger, Shadow.
While our Engineer TheGreyJedi, and his assistants Needleseye and Jet (Bride4) have the ship’s engineering and technomagic machines well under control, we have lacked a handyman (handyperson?) for simple and mundane repairs to our furnishings since the departure of ManiacNumberOne. SafeAt2nd seems to have some experience along these lines, but I’m not sure if he’s interested in the job.
While Static is a most capable Pilot, he is not always around and sometimes gets distracted when he is. We could use an Assistant Pilot.
We have lacked an official Ship’s Navigator. I have usually filled that role, which might help to explain our aimless wanderings to date. We might also need an Assistant Navigator.
While Rat is our Acquisitions Officer who will purchace goods of various sorts, we are lacking a Cargomaster to organize and store them in our voluminous cargo holds.
While SimonWho is the ship’s Doctor and Montanagirl is the ship’s Vet, we do not have a ship’s Counsellor / Therapist to handle the more loopy members of our crew.
In addition to the Pilot’s twin-linked plasma cannons mounted under the Bridge, we have a plasma cannon turret opposite the Bridge, and both a dorsal and ventral quad-laser gunnery turret. On the roof, I believe that we still have the “Mighty and Righteous Trebuchet, Hellacious Armament” aka MaRTHA. These four positions could use regular Gunners. On the other hand, it’s always a good idea to leave something for Ebonezer to shoot, if she’s around.
We have never had a specialized Sensor Operator or a Communications Operator before. Ususally, one of us has taken on that role in addition to our regular job.
The shuttles General Lee and Admiral Nelson have their regular pilots (Rat and ThatWeirdGirl, respectively). The General Grant was recently destroyed on Boros. But the Napoleon Bonaparte is lacking a regular pilot. In fact, I don’t believe it has every been flown since it was used to evacuate some folks from the Adelai Niska. If I’m not mistaken we also have a stolen Alliance fighter that someone could pilot (I don’t recall if TheGreyJedi ever cannibalized it into something else).
Between the “This Land” park on the third floor of the North Wing and the Pifflepony ranch in the cargo bay, we could perhaps use some animal handlers or gardeners. Wait, Serenity is already the ship’s Gardener.
If anyone should have an interest in any of these positions, please apply in person outside the First Officer’s office during my regular office hours of 13:04 – 13:07 Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. In the event that we have multiple applicants for some position, the officers will devise some fair method to pick the best candidate. Uh… Arm-wrestling contests, perhaps?
TheRealMe, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree
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Quote:
ItsAWash wrote:
"OH! (she yells!) Before we move along, I could stand to hear some more about SimonWho and Who(m) he owes an explanation to!"
Well, long ago, when the Sereni-Tree was merely a tree house (Thread 4), our fearless leader Ebonezer led us in the Three Switches War. We attacked a thread that was droning on about what the three switches above Wash's head do. Ebo, ThatWeirdGirl, PsychicRiver and myself (among others) went over there with rubber-band guns, squirt guns, knitting needles, and the like. Our banner-bearer Shw brought our flag (yes, we have a flag!).
This thread was defended almost singlehandedly by a resourceful and clever opponent, one SimonWho, who grabbed our flag! The climax of the conflict was a "Simon vs Kaylee" contest between SimonWho and ThatWeirdGirl. TWG won our flag back, but was made to cry.
But we made peace and TWG invited SimonWho to join us, and he has been our doctor ever since.
Oddly, soon after the Three Switches War (Thread 5) PsychicRiver was kidnapped back to the Three Switches thread and had to be rescued.
SimonWho has a blue box that lets him travel through space and time, and I have always guessed that he is from our future. Apparently, some time in the future, he and ThatWeirdGirl will have a child that will grow up into PsychicRiver.
But the thing that I want to know is, if SimonWho and ThatWeirdGirl decide right now to have nothing to do with one another, will PsychicRiver disappear?
TheRealMe, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree
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Quote:
While SimonWho is the ship’s Doctor and Montanagirl is the ship’s Vet, we do not have a ship’s Counsellor / Therapist to handle the more loopy members of our crew.
Wouldn't that list of the loopy include everyone here? Cause if there's someone sane here I'd like you to point them out. I've never seen one before.
Mai, Secretary of Unmentionables.
http://iammai2.livejournal.com
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The key part of that phrase is "MORE loopy". 
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Did someone say picnic? Sounds like a great idea. In fact, if everyone's interested we could settle down in that grassy area over there.
*walks over and opens the bark of a tree pushing buttons until they light up. several picnic tables spring up from hidden grates in the floor*
We can even have food delivered up from the kitchen by the aut-0-feed system. Who's hungry?
Mai, Secretary of Unmentionables.
http://iammai2.livejournal.com
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*elemdee's stomach emits a loud gurgling
Uh, I guess my stomach just decided for me, heh.
Oh, and I submit myself as a pilot, therapist, or animal handler. They're all the same thing, really. You're guiding something where you want it to go. Or I could just wander around...that works for me, too.
---
http://www.xffx.net/blog <-inching towards daylight
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