The Sereni-Tree and the Madness of Arkham
POSTED BY: TheRealMe
UPDATED: Sunday, November 6, 2005 04:18
VIEWED: 28440
PAGE 7 of 19
If I knew a path, I'd show you one. Quite frankly, I haven't the foggiest idea what's going on. You look...pale.
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Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
http://www.cafepress.com/thegreyjedi
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Good point. Well, off to the kitchen then. A steak would not be amiss. And scotch. Oban. Straight up.
***
"You think somebody wouldn't go see somebody if they didn't want entertainment?"
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The red discs in the skies over The Dark Tower and Whitfall change...the red clears and is replaced with a starry view. In the center a familiar form can be made out...The Sereni-Tree.
On board the Sereni-Tree, the hair on the back of GreyJedi's neck stand up. "I'm being watched". He looks up from the controls with a start. The room is empty but for him and the glow of the monitors. Cozen having left in search of food.
Jedi studies the scan reports for the Arkham. There's an energy spike. He looks quickly at the monitors. A red pool has appeared in place on one of the Arkhams docking bays.
Just as Jedi finishes thinking "that's odd", the pool gysers towards the Tree. "Holy S...!!".
The Tree is rocked by the impact, and is now connected to the Arkham by a column of red liquid.
Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny
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(On the Sereni-Tree:)
Badger-clone stops Cozen on his way to the kitchen. He is wearing his suit and tie (with no shirt) and his very fine hat, which he doffs for Cozen.
“Greetin’s gov. We got us a little problem, you see. Me mates ‘ave been fallin’ apart ‘round me, even them silly Malcolmettes, and I can only guess what that’s all on account o’ you!”
Badger-clone draws a pistol and aims it menacingly.
“You need me, see. A man o’ standin’. A businessman. Someone to run yer operation like before. So you’ll be thinkin’ real hard, now, and…”
As Badger-clone falls to dust, his gun clatters to the deck.
Cozen continues to the kitchen.
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(On the Sereni-Tree:)
Jayne-clone1 enters the Infirmary and greets Montanagirl. “Hi, darlin’!” He holds up a brush. “Uh, I wuz gonna brush that long dark hair o’ yours one last time, but… Uh…”
Jayne-clone1 drops the brush, grabs Montanagirl and gives her a long, passionate kiss as only Jayne can. He stands with her for a moment, hugging her gently. Then he holds her at arm’s length and stares down into her eyes.
“Well…”
He pauses.
Then Jayne-clone1 suddenly turns and departs the Infirmary without another word.
When Montanagirl follows, she finds a little pile of dust just outside the door.
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(The Grant crew, in Ambush Valley on Whitefall:)
TheRealMe and Needleseye stand over some dead mutants and a couple piles of dust, dumbfounded.
Then Needle reaches over with a tentacle, taps TheRealMe on the shoulder, and points.
TheRealMe turns to find himself face to face with a Mal-clone. They stare at each other, surprised.
“Huh!” they both chorus.
TheRealMe’s communicator beeps, and he answers it. It is Ath.
Quote:
Ath wrote:
”Me, can you make me a portal, and set me down in the middle of those mutant things?”
"What?! Are you crazy?"
Quote:
Ath wrote:
"PLEASE!!", Ath screams, his throat tearing, "just do it!"
ME! PLEASE!!!!!
TheRealMe senses a disturbance in the force, and understands. He concentrates.
Quote:
Ath wrote:
*A portal opens up in front of Ath. Through the other side he can see a mass of hideous creatures. Ath grabs his lightsaber and drops it on the ground, then leaps into the hole.
Just as Ath hits the ground, his dark side comes bursting back, shoving Ath into the back of his mind once more.*
God, please don't let him get away.
*Darth Ath rolls, and pushes at the mutants who are now all around him. Many go flying, many more take their place. DA sends force lightning into them, burning dozens, but it doesn't stop them. Finally, one of the mutants gets a tentacle around his leg, sending him sprawling. The mutants pile on top of him.*
Needleseye starts to move forward to help, but TheRealMe urges her to stay. “It’s not safe, Needle! That isn’t Ath. It’s the Sith Lord Darth Ath, and you and I cannot defeat him. Come, we must go, while Ath walks his own path.”
Suddenly, the Mal-clone falls into a pile of dust.
Needleseye is startled. “What was that all about? What happened to him?”
TheRealMe shrugs. “I don’t know, Needle. Either Cozen is under some tremendous strain right now, or else I just don’t feel confident enough about writing dialog for Mal…”
TheRealMe, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree
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(Meanwhile, on the Sereni-Tree:)
As Cozen is in the kitchen pouring his scotch, he hears the door open behind him. He turns around.
It is a pair of Zoe-clones.
Zoe-clone1: “Sir, we need to talk.”
Zoe-clone4: “We need to talk NOW, sir.”
Zoe-clone1: “Our time is coming, sir, we know that.”
Zoe-clone4: “But THIS is not how we want to go out.”
Zoe-clone1: “It would be different if we went down in battle.”
Zoe-clone4: “Or in our sleep, not knowing.”
Zoe-clone1: “But just sitting around waiting to die…”
Cozen downs his drink in one gulp, then: “But you’re not even real…”
Zoe-clone4: “That’s one school of thought, sir.”
Cozen: “And there were only supposed to be two of you Zoes anyway.”
Zoe-clone1: “There WERE only two.”
Zoe-clone4: “It was because of PsychicRiver, when he was busy fight all of your dark halves over on the Adelai Niska. He needed a hand, and Zoe-clone3 and I appeared to help. ”
Zoe-clone1: “Anyway, when we were made back on Rukus, you never got around to including a Wash-clone in the set. In the time since, we’ve felt his absence.”
Zoe-clone4: “And the Wash-Malcolmette was never the same!”
Zoe-clone1 glances at her twin quizzically.
Zoe-clone4, glancing back: “What!? YOU never gave it a try?”
Zoe-clone1, embarrassed, turning back to Cozen: “So we want you to make us a Wash-clone. Even if it’s just for a little while.”
Zoe-clone: ”Two would be nice.”
Zoe-clone glares critically at her twin: “But one would be ENOUGH.”
Cozen, pouring himself another scotch: “Look, I don’t think that…”
Both Zoe-clones draw their weapons and level them at Cozen. The buzz-whine sound is heard.
Zoe-clone4: “Think harder, sir.”
Under this threat, Cozen does.
Wash-clone walks into the kitchen: “Hey everybody! What’s for dinner tonight? How about…”
The two Zoe-clones turn to face Wash-clone. They both drop their weapons, then stride over to embrace him.
Wash-clone, looking with surprise at first one Zoe, then the other: “Hey, I’m liking THIS! Stereo wives! Cozen, we’ll be in our bunk!”
Zoe-clone4, playing with Wash-clone’s hair: “No time, baby.”
Zoe-clone1 with a tear in her eye, to Cozen: “That you, sir!”
The Zoe-clones hug Wash tightly. Then all three fall to dust.
Sparky the robot walks into the kitchen with a brush and a dustpan to tidy up the place.
Cozen returns to his scotch.
Then MollyTheParrot, clone of Black Jack Silver, flies in and lands next to the bottle, and pecks at it.
Molly: “Squarch?”
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(The Grant crew, near the town of Bodie, on Whitefall:)
TheRealMe breathes on his tin star, shines it up on his shirt, and pins it on his vest. He puts on his white cowboy hat. “Yes, this is the place. Rat and I have been here, before.”
Rat seems confused. “We have?”
“Yep!” TheRealMe leads Rat, Jake7, Monkeytail, and Needleseye (once again in human form) down a hill into the little one-street town. He walks up to a saloon, pushes back the little swinging gates, and enters confidently, hands on his hips.
“Howdy!” he says.
The piano player stops the music. The patrons all turn to look at the newcomers.
The bartender groans as he looks at TheRealMe and Rat. “You two again? And I see you brought more friends. But we done told you already! We don’t know where Neroli or Gunhand are!”
A dumb-looking tough stands and smashes a bottle against the table, giving him a nasty-looking glass-shard-weapon-thing. “Let’s get’em!”
TheRealMe sighs. "Say, before we start all that, does anyone know of a woman named Emma? She'd be a stranger to the town."
(NOTE: For more on the posse that searched for Neroli and Gunhand, see: http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=9533.)
TheRealMe, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree
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*A mediocre looking barmaid hands Monkeytail something to drink. Monkeytail looks at the green liquid and downs it with a shrug. Immediately feeling the effects, Monkeytail's vision blurs.*
Monkeytail says "Oh shi..." as he falls to the floor.
On a good day, hell can look alot like LA.-Playing God
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*Monkeytail wakes up mere seconds later because of his jedi healing powers. now aware that perhaps the locals mean to do harm to the General Grant's crew, Monkeytail places his hand on his lightsaber and wispers to TheRealMe* "Do you have any asprin? I have a wicked headache. And I think we're in trouble."
On a good day, hell can look alot like LA.-Playing God
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