Guide to the Clubhouse / Treehouse / Sereni-Tree Threads
POSTED BY: TheRealMe
UPDATED: Friday, August 15, 2008 10:47
VIEWED: 17567
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PLEASE DO NOT POST HERE!
This is NOT a Clubhouse / Treehouse / Sereni-Tree Thread.
This is the GUIDE to the Clubhouse / Treehouse / Sereni-Tree Threads. ALL of them.
Now, on to business…
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The Clubhouse…
The Treehouse…
The Sereni-Tree…
Our past. Our history. It is... complicated.
We are a group of people who have banded together for the purpose of being silly, of exercising our imaginations, of having fun. We take turns writing about our adventures in a rather bizarre shared universe. Over time, we have had many members and have occupied a long succession of threads. But the threads are still out there if you are so inclined to track them down and read them. I will list them all. I will try to keep everything up to date as new threads are created.
I plan to make one post per clubhouse thread. The threads that I count as actual clubhouse threads I will put in capitals and assign numbers. Peripheral threads will also be included, threads which I think might have some bearing on Our Heroes, but which are not part of the actual story.
In my summaries, I will put down events that I thought were most fun and interesting. Since I find myself fun and interesting, my own antics might be strongly featured here. Well, if you don’t like it, start your own thread! 
Uh, no. I mean, I will be happy to accept additions and corrections.
To avoid confusion, I ask others to not post here. Any comments or corrections are welcome, but please e-mail them or message them to me through this site, or post on whatever the current clubhouse thread is at the time.
Thanks, all. I hope you have fun here. I certainly do!
Oh, and almost anyone is welcome to join us in our current thread!
This thread is dedicated to all of the folk who play on the Sereni-Tree, but especially to Mal-licious, who kept asking for it! Mal-licious, I suspect that by the time I am up to date with the current thread, it will be your birthday again! Happy Birthday!
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Edited Feb 26, 2006, and afterward for updates:
I felt the need for a more compact summary of our adventures than exists here in the Complete Guide. What follows is a list of the major plotlines (with thread numbers) involving the Clubhouses, the Treehouse, the Sereni-Tree airship, and the Sereni-Tree starship. Also, I have included the first appearances (and subsequent re-appearances) of various members of our crew. Note that many former crew members have been omitted, as I wanted to concentrate on the folks that we have now.
THE CLUBHOUSES, THE WAR BETWEEN THE SEXES, THE WOMEN'S MINIONS, A GREAT FRIDAY NIGHT PARTY (1-3)
Ebonezer (1), ThatWeirdGirl(1), Malicious(1), Elwoodmom (1, disappears, reappears infrequently), Jake7 (1-3, then disappears until 12), Static (2, then disappears until 11), SoulOfSerenity (2, then disappears until 19), Monkeytail (3, then appears infrequently, returning 31), TheRealMe (3)
THE TREEHOUSE, THE THREE SWITCHES WAR, PSYCHICRIVER’S KIDNAPPING, THE BEST ICE CREAM, THE INVASION OF THE ELDRITCH HORROR INOLA TEG FROM THE PURPLE DIMENSION (4-6)
Mai (4), PsychicRiver(4), SimonWho (4), TheGreyJedi (4-6, then disappears until 11), Rat (6)
BUILDING THE AIRSHIP, THE SEARCH FOR EBO, THE GALA PAGEANT OF CROSSDRESSING MEN, BIZZARE DRESSES, MAI-QUEST1 (7-11)
Montanagirl (7), The Seven Brides (8), Cozen (8), TheFemaleReaver, TheGreyJedi and Static (both return in 11)
THE LOVE BOAT, REAL PHYSICS, KIDNAPPING AND RESCUE, RAT’S MENTAL WARD (12-13)
Jake7 (returns in 12)
BUILDING A STARSHIP, TALKING LIKE PIRATES, THE MUTINY OF RAT, THE COZEN STAR CLUSTER (14-15)
RUKUS, BDH CLONES, A BEACH PARTY WITH VOLLEYBALL, ESCAPE FROM RUKUS (16-18)
Needleseye (16)
BLACK DIAMOND SKI RESORT, THE FEMALEREAVER HUNT, YETI, GIANTS, ANTS, RE-HUMANIZED COZEN, ESCAPE FROM BLACK DIAMOND(19-21)
Bride1 and FemaleReaver (both slain and put in cryo), CallMeAth, Lissa, SoulOfSerenity (returns)
RETURNING T
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1) THE I AM NOT A GUY CLUB
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=5439
In the beginning, there was Ebonezer. Ebo was a girl (still is), but because of her alias, she was the subject of a great deal of gender confusion. This annoyed her greatly, so she formed the “I Am Not a Guy” clubhouse. She was joined by Mal-licious, CageyBee, Jake7, Delia, ThatWeirdGirl, KarenKay99, Fred1988, Elwoodmom, Annik, TallGrrl, and a number of other females. While CageyBee could light a pilot light, TallGrrl could reach lightbulbs, and Ebo could drive a tractor (even an EVIL tractor), there was some problem with ants and spiders. They debated their charter, whether it was to be “women in opposition to men,” “women who just got together for girly stuff,” or the original idea of “women who were being mistaken for men”.
Anyway, Gunhand (who was most certainly male) offered to build the ladies virtually anything they wanted. He constructed a sauna, a jacuzzi, and I believe the entire original clubhouse. Often he was working (and sweating) in the hot sun on the roof, clad only in a manly kilt and his strategically placed leather tool belt. The ladies gathered outside in lawn chairs to watch, sipping their drinks. Some dispensed with chairs entirely and lay on the ground on pillows, looking up, for a “better view”. These activities would earn Gunhand the distinction of being the Minion Supreme, not to mention gaining him the undying affection of all the ladies.
After the clubhouse of the guys got started (see thread 2), there were a couple of raids back and forth, such as when SoutherSlayer took the plasma TV and all light bulbs from the girls’ place. These were recovered, though the remote was put through a blender “by accident”.
A shocking feature of this thread was when Elwoodmom (who has since been an icon of propriety) taught CageyBee how to pole dance! Mom! 
This thread ended with Gunhand still working and sweating on the roof, and the first cabana-boys being gathered up and put to work.
PERIPHERAL THREAD:
“the Fireflies”
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=5389
This is not a Clubhouse thread, but it shares many people in common with them. CageyBee started a band called “the Fireflies”. This thread deals mostly with gathering members and claiming instruments to play. It also includes mention of the band’s one only gig so far, which occurred near the end of THE FORGOTTEN “NOT A GUY/GIRL” CLUBHOUSE.
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2) THE I AM A GUY CLUB
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=5448
Soon after Ebo started the “I Am Not A Guy” clubhouse, SouthernSlayer formed the “I Am A Guy” clubhouse to oppose it. It seemed to be founded upon the time-honored male principles of Sports TV, cigars, pizza, beer, belching, and scantily clad women. Its members included SoutherSlayer, Browncoat1, Static, Werzbowski, SoulofSerenity, AthertonWing, BadgersHat, ECGordon (sometimes known as “Eggy”), Mantichorus, and several others.
The dual clubhouses ran concurrently, and great rivalries flared between them. A war between the sexes ensued. Various items were stolen back and forth from each clubhouse, including a nice plasma TV.
At times, a few of the women (Annik, Elwoodmom, and CageyBee) took turns coming over to belly dance for the guys. The ladies were attempting to entice some of the men over to their clubhouse to help Gunhand with the numerous construction projects. Mal-licious cleaned the guys’ bathroom once, simply because she thought it was getting too disgusting.
This thread ended when SoulofSerenity brought in a truck and unloaded replacements for all the stuff that had been stolen, plus a grill, more beer, and the entire Dallas Cowboy Cheerleeders squad. He then planned to see to the security systems in an effort to curb theft.
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3) THE FORGOTTEN “NOT A GUY/GIRL” CLUBHOUSE
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=6084
Next came the “Forgotten Not a Guy/Girl Clubhouse,” as it was resurrected by Mal-licious. Apparently, time had passed and the ladies had won the war between the sexes. The males from before, even Gunhand, were nowhere to be seen. Still, most of the ladies of the “Not a Guy” clubhouse were there. They spent their time reclining in hammocks and sipping their drinks (complete with little umbrellas), while their enslaved, nameless cabana-boys rocked them, fanned them with palm fronds, and fetched them more drinks.
At one point, a cabana-boy apparently ran off with a hat-check girl. Then other cabana-boys sneaked off, and the clubhouse faced a severe labor shortage. Hammocks stopped rocking. The ladies had to fetch their own drinks. A suggestion was put forth by Mal-licious that the remaining cabana-boys be made into eunuchs, but this did nothing to solve the labor shortage; for some reason, it made things worse! Neroli and Delia protested Mal-licious’ idea, since the ladies of the clubhouse might require other services than drinks and hammock-rocking. To answer these protests, Annik directed Neroli and Delia to a “special” website that sold various useful items.
Present during this time was Ebonezer, Mal-licious, ThatWeirdGirl, Annik, HellsKitten, Neroli, Delia, Fred1988, CageyBee, Jake7, and Elwoodmom. The last of the self-proclaimed cabana-boys (but not a eunuch) was Monkeytail.
Then TheRealMe (also not a eunuch) arrived, performing minioning services for a time, but always with an eye toward the future, a world of Star-Trek-like enlightenment, where males would be accepted as equals into the society of females. To help with the workload, he constructed the Mechana-Cabana-Boy 3000, a robot otherwise known as “Sparky”. Toward the end of this thread was a marvelous party one Friday night, which included TheRealMe, ThatWeirdGirl, Ebo, and Ebo’s muppet friend: InTheShinyCircusLife. TWG introduced us to the concept of Pepsimilk. We also had guacamole punch, courtesy of Sparky. During that night, Ebo rocked on her guitar, which counts as the first and (so far) only performance of “the Fireflies”. In the days soon after, orders were placed for numerous “Nekkid Jaynes” and Ebo invented her nickname for TheRealMe (ie, “You”). Also during this time, TRM created the “Whack-a-Fox-Executive” game (it’s like a Whack-a-Mole game, but more fun). Apparently, everyone got so tired playing this game that the thread died out. Again, time passed…
PERIPHERAL THREADS:
The Second Holiest Day Of The Year
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=7965
This celebrated Mal-licious’ birthday, and was where many of us described both the sucky and great things in our lives.
One Of An Infinite Number Of Actual Futures
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8029
A bit of weirdness by Zoid that I really liked.
Taking Zoid’s Advice
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8041
BadgersHat tries to form a harem. This is where the rivalry between Zoid, BadgersHat, and The Real Me really got going over the affections of Mal-licious. This thread explains The Real Me’s one-time appearance in a Kaylee costume or his green hands or both.
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4) THE I’M AM NOT GOING TO BE DEPRESSED ABOUT THE DELAY CLUB!
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8073
There came the announcement that the movie “Serenity” would not be shown in April of 2005, but in September! But Ebonezer was “not going to be depressed about the delay”. She built a new clubhouse, a Treehouse this time. Many of the old hands returned, including Ebo, Mal, and ThatWeirdGirl. However, Jake7, CageyBee, Elwoodmom, and many others seemed to be absent.
Chronos joined just long enough use an easy bake oven to bake some tiramisu (WHATEVER it is, it’s apparently delicious!). Shw joined, became our crazy bartender, and made us a flag! TheGreyJedi joined, and spent nearly all his time in a lawn chair on the roof, watching the stars, tinkering with his home-made trebuchet, and sipping the beverage of his choice. Grey made liberal use of his MacGuyver-like superpower of creating technological marvels out of random piles of junk. PsychicRiver joined, and took up knitting and acting crazy. BethyB also joined the knitting club. Zoid did not actually join the Treehouse, as he was too drunk to make the climb up the Tree, but did open his Pub at the Bottom of the Tree, where Tree-housers often went for refreshments and philosophy.
Fireflooziesuzie ran in, breathless, with harem pants, finger cymbals, veils, and everything! She started the dancing girl thing with Mal-licious and TWG. Dacute1 brought strawberries, and joined the dancing.
There was a friendly debate among Zoid, TheGreyJedi, ThatWeirdGirl, Tethys, Nedward, Fireflooziesuzie, and Shw over American beer vs British beer vs Oriental beer, and exactly which of these was most equivalent to “pisswater”.
TheRealMe arrived via his newly discovered superpower of inter-dimensional portal creation, and used this power (and his faithful robot Sparky) to help move in all significant furnishings from the previous clubhouse. From somewhere, he found a bar. TheRealMe delighted ThatWeirdGirl with his discovery of an alternate reality where Pepsimilk is bottled. He also folded space inside the Treehouse to gain its members more living room.
We settled in. A rivalry developed between Zoid, BadgersHat, and TRM over Mal-licious’ affections. Mal-licious got jealous when TheRealMe rocked Ebo in a hammock and waved his green hand at her.
There were other folks, PotempkinVillager, Browncoat1, SgtGump, Tmurrie, and JRC, but they really didn’t do much or stay long.
Then came the time of the Three Switches War. Our Fearless Leader Ebonezer bravely led us against the tyrannical oppression of the vile… uh…. Okay, Ebo got bored and wanted to attack something. Anyway, a number of us, including Ebo, ThatWeirdGirl, Shw, PsychicRiver, and TheRealMe invaded a thread that was busy discussing what the Three Switches above Wash’s pilot station do. In our defense, that thread was getting rather silly. We went to do battle using rubber-band guns, squirt guns, knitting needles, and the like. From his position on the roof of the Treehouse, TheGreyJedi acted as supporting artillery for our invasion, launching huge globs of Spam from his trebuchet (the first documented use of Spam as a weapon). As ammunition, it was handy, since TheGreyJedi for some reason had 42 metric tons of it in our storage rooms. The Three Switches thread was defended almost single-handedly by a brave, crafty, and resourceful individual. His name was SimonWho. In a final show-down over the possession of the Flag That Shw Made, ThatWeirdGirl narrowly defeated SimonWho in a Simon/Kaylee struggle, and returned to the Treehouse with our Flag (but SimonWho made her cry).
When peace broke out, SimonWho was invited to join us in the Treehouse, and he has remained ever since as our doctor. Oh, yes, and he can destroy entire planets.
PERIPHERAL THREAD:
I know what the Three Little Switches Do
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8098
This is the thread upon which Ebonezer declared war and where we first met SimonWho in honorable combat.
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5) THE FASTER LOADING TREEHOUSE! (JUST FOR MANIAC)
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8127
Ebonezer created a Faster Loading Treehouse to celebrate the end of the Three Switches War. TheRealMe went off to other dimensions looking for more Pepsimilk (which it turned out Shw liked as well as ThatWeirdGirl).
Soon after, PsychicRiver was kidnapped. Shw discovered the cryptic note that was left behind. PsychicRiver was rescued from captivity back on the Three Switches thread by Ebo, ThatWeirdGirl, and Mal-licious. The kidnapper was never identified, but some remained suspicious of SimonWho for a while afterward. SimonWho, of course, was indignant in a way that only the truly British can be. Shw threw a party for PsychicRiver’s return. Ebo sulked, wanting her own party.
ManiacNumberOne joined the Treehouse, and kindly fixed things up for us. He added a sky-light and invented numerous butterfly-shaped solar collectors to hover above the Treehouse and provide for our growing power needs.
With a gush of seawater, a dimensional portal of TheRealMe opened, dropping him (clad in a scuba suit) into the common room. He had returned with more Pepsimilk AND pop-rocks. This started a general discussion about candy. SimonWho good-naturedly informed us that British candy: caramels, crunchies, flakes, snowflakes, and the like, were FAR superior to American candy (though he allowed that America still had the edge in pizza). Scones were also provided, but NOT fruit-filled ones! Never! SimonWho also provided a large selection of Xbox, Gamestation, and Playstation-2 games.
An argument arose between Shw and Nedward over who would be the bartender. Perhaps Shw was a bit harsh, and perhaps Nedward over-reacted. In any case, Nedward erased all his posts and departed. Shw offered an apology, but to no avail.
Mai and her cats joined us from her place in lurkerdom, bringing with her a 42” widescreen TV, a DVD player, and some copies of the boxed set. AND she brought a trampoline, which we thought to put at the bottom of the Tree to provide us a quick escape route. Mai didn’t want to stay all by her lonesome, so PsychicRiver invited her to join him and his cat Annabelle. ManiacNumberOne promptly got his tools and some lumber, and built a wall unit for Mai’s new gifts.
Ebo actually tried Pepsimilk, beloved by ThatWeirdGirl and Shw, and proclaimed it to be THE DEVIL. She slapped it out of SaffronFan’s hand before TheRealMe could hand one over.
Mal-licious reminded TheRealMe about their upcoming date at a Maryland Home Depot.
TheGreyJedi and Tethys were around the Treehouse. Mantichorus, SaffronFan, ImZoe stopped by.
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6) THE NEW FASTER LOADING TREEHOUSE
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8185
Mal-licious proposed that we have one continuous slumber party/sleepover until the opening of the Serenity Movie. PsychicRiver agreed that this would be a great idea, especially with a trampoline room adjoining the common room, but then he got distracted and wondered where his knitting partner BethyB had gone.
ThatWeirdGirl, TheRealMe, SimonWho, and Ebonezer started a new game, one combining Twister and Calvinball as played in the show. Mai sat on the sidelines for a time, cheering them on. Mal-licious wrote a note for Mai, excusing her from work in real life so she could spend more time in the Treehouse.
ManiacNumberOne continued his hard work as the handyman of the Treehouse. While adjusting his butterfly solar collectors, he discovered that the Tree is of an unknown species. He and Mantichorus tried to decide on a name. As soon as it is named, it is in danger! Robinhood stopped by, threatening to apply a chainsaw to the Tree. Mai warned him that the Tree was chain-saw proof, but it turned out to be a joke; it was a plastic chainsaw.
We were wondering whether to play “cowboys” or “pirates”. Then Mal-licious urged everyone to go to a particular site to get a pirate name. A number of Treehousers did so, and start talking like pirates, including Shw, ThatWeirdGirl, SimonWho, Ebo, PsychicRiver, and Mantichorus. “Arrrgh, me matey!”
Mai started singing “The 12 Days of Christmas, Faster Loading Treehouse Version”. Others joined in. Lots of kissing happened under a mistletoe by the bar. SimonWho suggested that we build a swing off of one of the branches of the Tree.
When PsychicRiver wondered if the Treehouse would have a Christmas Tree, SimonWho tied PR up to a stake and decorated him with tinsel. Ebo put a star on top of the “tree”. ThatWeirdGirl filled the M&M jars with only red and green, changed the pool table to a billiard table (only red and green balls), and hung up a Santa hat. Ebo was somewhat traumatized by the change of her pool table nest. SimonWho provided paper chains, and candy canes to hang from the “tree”. Shw, apparently in a humbug mood, declared the area around the bar a Christmas Free Zone.
Folks went away to celebrate Christmas. After Christmas, SimonWho returned to the Treehouse to find, with some chagrin, that nobody had untied PsychicRiver! SimonWho asked if there was a doctor in the house, then realized that he was one. Shw bounced in to help, dressed in a nurse’s outfit. Luckily, an injection of M&Ms revived the patient.
A New Years party was arranged, with (perhaps?) another performance by “the Fireflies”. SimonWho locked ThatWeirdGirl in a dancing cage, but thankfully she already had her go-go boots on. Mal-licious was also locked up. However, when TWG pointed out that Mal-licious would be unable to play her rain-stick for “the Fireflies,” SimonWho let them out, and finally untied PsychicRiver. Dancing commenced! Copious amounts of alcohol were consumed! PotempkinVillager returned from other celebrations, but was a bit too tipsy to climb the ladder up to the Treehouse.
The next day, Ebo arrived. She discovered that she had been so keenly missed that someone (SimonWho?) crafted an Effigy of Ebo, a lifelike statue to take her place. Some revelers thought it had actually been Ebo, and had danced with the Effigy the night before. PsychicRiver defaced the statue, altering its gender with a magic marker. As was said… copious amounts of alcohol were apparently consumed.
Then TheRealMe returned from his latest extra-dimensional trip, somewhat injured and batting away purple tentacles with a handy pool cue while he closed a portal behind him. He had made a terrific new discovery: Ice Cream from the Purple Dimension. It was fabulous stuff, which tasted like the favorite taste of the eater. It even went well with Pepsimilk! Everyone loved it.
But suddenly, amidst the laughing and celebration, PsychicRiver shouted a warning, grabbed his cat, and dov
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7) MUCH FASTER LOADING, FLOATING TREE HOUSE
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8548
An idea ThatWeirdGirl came up with was that we would have a “floating” Treehouse. It took a while to work out the details. During this time, Rat got settled and found a place for his extensive rootbeer collection and then he proceeded to ask lots of questions. Meanwhile TWG and SimonWho talked of “drilling cats”. Mal-licious demanded that our floating Treehouse float on AIR, not water, as she has a tendency toward seasickness. That, of course, made things somewhat more difficult.
Many of us got to work turning the Treehouse into an air-ship. PsychicRiver used his newly enhanced telekinesis to lift the Treehouse out of the Tree and set it into a new framework. TheRealMe tinkered with ManiacNumberOne’s floating butterfly-shaped solar collectors and turned them into reactionless thrusters. He also modified one of our video game consoles to serve as the ship’s controls. Down in the boiler room, he crafted a permanent dimensional portal to Zoid’s Pub at the Bottom of the Tree, so we could always return there no matter where we traveled. Next, we needed a name. Rat offered one of his precious rootbeers with which to christen the ship, but TRM “accidentally” drank it. After we all spent some time thinking up a name for our new floating air-ship, Mal-licious grabbed a (long since emptied) bottle of booze and smacked it across the bow, christening our new vessel the Sereni-Tree. By then, all that was necessary to shove off and explore the world was our captain.
But Ebonezer was nowhere to be found.
After a time of waiting patiently, TheRealMe donned his pirate outfit (taking up a long coat, three-cornered hat, cutlass, and black powder pistol), announced that he was assuming command of the Sereni-Tree, and was ready to face any challenge to his authority. When no challenge occurred, he proclaimed that the first mission of the Sereni-Tree would be “The Search For Ebo”. Almost immediately, CageyBee (a long-lost clubhouse member) arrived, announcing the triumphant return of Ebonezer! Ebo came aboard the Sereni-Tree in her own impressive fashion. Satisfied at the successful completion of his first mission, TheRealMe surrendered the ship to Ebo (as well as the cutlass and the three-cornered hat, which she thought was cool), then accidentally shot himself in the foot. While SimonWho tended to the injuries of TRM, Ebo and Mai played pool, and the Sereni-Tree lifted off on its numerous butterfly-shaped reactionless thrusters and headed off in a random direction.
To commemorate Ebo’s return and the launching of our new air-ship, our Fearless Leader announced the start of the contest that would become the Gala Pageant of Cross-Dressing Men. The rules? The Sereni-Tree’s men would have to dress up in frilly or slinky dresses and impress the judges, who would be Ebonezer, Mal-licious, and CageyBee. ThatWeirdGirl took up the job of Mistress of Ceremonies.
Around this time, TheRealMe used one of his dimensional portals to bring the FemaleReaver aboard the Sereni-Tree, having accidentally created her in a Thread Dedicated Strictly to Mal-licious by means of a magical wish-granting plank (see peripheral threads below). He used the Ebo Golem to restrain her and took her off to a Hannibal-Lector style prison room. He also brought back the dangerous magical wish-granting plank and hid it.
Men scrambled to find dresses. TWG helped. We picked up some new arrivals: BadgersHat (who was trying to construct his own harem), CosmicFugitive, and Montanagirl. BadgersHat considered forgoing the dress in favor of a manly kilt (since it worked for Gunhand) and a 54” claymore broadsword. That or else a leopard-skin thong. A blue feather boa was given to Rat. Rat refused the boa, but was later seen wearing it. Soon it was discovered that there were TWO Rats: one with boa, and another hiding under pool table. Perhaps there was a dimensional portal accident? Or a
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8) THE TREEHOUSE GALA PAGEANT THAT LOADS FASTER
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8663
When we advanced threads and ThatWeirdGirl was giving a summary of the previous one, she mentioned that the judges were being plied with brides of all kinds (my italics). Mal-licious protested, saying that she did not wish to be smothered with all that white satin, lace, and pearls. She suggested that the contestants should try money, instead, to influence her vote. ThatWeirdGirl meant BRIBES, of course, but it was too late. Seven young women, the Brides, joined the crew of the Sereni-Tree.
Unfortunately, Montanagirl had received a minor injury due to TheRealMe’s talent exhibition in the previous thread. He was most apologetic, and gifted Montanagirl with one of his magical black ribbons that would protect her from anything dangerous by batting it away. She wore it as a headband and later kept it in a glass of Pepsi, where it seemed to thrive. For a time, she had fun getting folks to toss objects at her (TRM tossed, among other items, Rat), and she ended up enjoying a nice game of ping pong with herself.
Meanwhile, some of the ladies among the crew were apparently getting bored and started inventing bizarre dresses. There was the leaf dress of Mai, the saran-wrap dress (minus the gum) worn by CageyBee, and the aluminum foil dress worn by both CageyBee and ThatWeirdGirl.
The Gala Pageant continued. After the talent portion of the contest there was a minioning portion (where TheRealMe’s previous experience in the Not a Guy/Girl Clubhouse paid off handsomely), and there was even a time for insipid speeches full of good will and saccharine. During all of this, Cozen tried bribes of fancy sashes and alcohol to get the judges on his side, all the while making numerous cell phone calls to his under-paid minions to acquire them.
Then a case of over-minioning combined with a series of freak accidents resulted in the incapacitation of both Ebonezer and CageyBee. As the last remaining conscious judge, Mal-licious proclaimed the winner of the Gala Pageant to be… HERSELF! We handed over the sash, crown and scepter to Mal-licious and congratulated her on a well-deserved victory. She positively BEAMED during her flawless victory speech.
Due to the blunt head trauma associated with the series of freak accidents, Ebonezer lost her memory. TheRealMe, in a moment of weakness, reminded her that she was the Queen and Goddess named Mal-licious. Hilarity ensued. Doctor SimonWho, still in his glamorous dress, frantically attempted to resuscitate… The Ebo Golem. Ooops. They look SO alike.
We started considering our next course of action. One of the possibilities was a contest of bizarre dresses. In addition to the ones described earlier, ThatWeirdGirl tried the trampy look when she put on black boots, a short leather mini, and a red lace bustier. MontanaGirl wore her floor length silvery slinky elven dress, complimented with an Evenstar necklace, silver dangly earrings, and… black cowboy boots.
Unfortunately, by this time Mai’s leaf dress had started to wilt. She became concerned about over-exposure when the leaves turned brown and started falling off. She went alone back through the dimensional portal to Zoid’s Pub at the Bottom of the Tree to collect more leaves from the Tree. Sadly. Cozen had already engaged in some good-natured sabotage of this device (to get materials to build our first jacuzzi), and the portal malfunctioned. Mai was sent somewhere else… or somewhen else. She was LOST! By the time her absence was discovered, there was no easy way to track her. In fact, TheRealMe had some difficulty shutting down this portal, as it had a wobble in four of its eleven dimensions.
CosmicFugitive re-appeared out of nowhere in a torn red dress covered with paint and was put in the care of a couple of Brides. When had HE disappeared? TheRealMe, afraid that reality was being over-strained, relaxed the dimensional folding inside the Sereni-Tree. The North and
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9) THE TREEHOUSE CREW ON MAI-QUEST
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8710
From the Sereni-Tree, TheRealMe with his hi-tech squirt gun, ThatWeirdGirl with her trusty hula hoop, Montanagirl with her protective magic black ribbon, and Bride1 with her katana stepped through the dimensional portal of TheRealMe, signaling the start of Mai-Quest. Ebo-licious with her Red Bell (or Ball), followed later, but quickly turned into Ebonezer with a machete. On the other side of the portal, Our Heroes found themselves in a jungle in The Land of The Lost.
Surprisingly, Mal-licious was somehow ALREADY in the Land of the Lost at the Jurassic Beauty Barn, ordering her pet Sleestaks to give her manicures. She tried to avoid the notice of the rest of Our Heroes.
Mai woke to find herself in a strange jungle place, and was soon attacked by prehistoric butterflies! She ran behind a boulder to hide, but the boulder started moving! And so Mai found her new pet, Frederick the dinosaur, and met Cozen, who independently parachuted in by helicopter while hunting for snakes.
There were dinosaurs and other strange creatures, including “Emily Bronte”, some creepy and violent Sleestaks, a native boy named Chaka that ThatWeirdGirl befriended (and who gave her some kind of green glowing holo-crystal), and a pair of fearsome Tyrannosaurus Rexes. TheRealMe blasted the first with his hi-tech squirt gun. Mal-licious kept the second from charging (by stealing its credit card) and then Cozen talked it out of attacking. Also, TheRealMe discovered that the butterflies that attacked Mai were of the same species as the butterfly thrusters, apparently native to the Land of the Lost, so more were acquired.
During their adventures, Our Heroes had left Bride1 to guard the dimensional portal back to the Sereni-Tree, but she was overpowered by some dark entity which then moved onto the ship to hide. SimonWho had been guarding the Sereni-Tree side of the portal, but not terribly well, apparently. This sinister entity was the Dark Soul, which would plague the Sereni-Tree in the future. In any case, Our Heroes returned through the dimensional portal, accompanied by Mai, Fredrick, Cozen, and a number of dinosaur eggs.
Ebo and Cozen next pondered… waffles!
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