Entries are sorted in chronological order with most recent entries at the bottom of the page.
« Show all entries for NOVEMBER 2004
Tuesday, 30 November 2004 04:53:50
Yep. I got a job. Didn't care much what it was, but got lucky and got a good one. *goes and does the I Got A Job song & dance until he passes out*
Tuesday, 30 November 2004 10:04:49
Nov. 28th, 2004 05:27 am - Confronted by a dream... When something that you have wanted for a long time suddenly surprises you and seems like it's actually going to happen... something you've only dreamed of but never thought would come to pass; you cannot help but doubt it - against all your senses and feeling to the contrary. Impossible. Nothing good happens to me. It's an illusion, a mirage - it'll vanish as I approach. And so I hesitate to get my hopes up. Yet they rise of their own accord, balloons with strings just beyond my reach and ability to keep them down. Will they be crushed again, as so many times before they have been? Or is it possible that dreams and reality sometimes do exist on the same plane? When only time can reveal truth, I find myself impatient for an answer that I so so badly need, yet dread. And can my feeble hope withstand another drop? Does a cliff loom ahead, down the path of life, just obscured by the fog of uncertain futures? Or will I find my dream there waiting for me? Nov. 30th, 2004 02:33 am - Dreams turn to dust If only I'd known, that cliff was far closer than I could ever have predicted. And I didn't realize how far I had let myself go. I entrusted my happiness to fate, and walked blindly forth. And now I am left at the bottom of the cliff, a crumbled mess, bloody, and covered with dirt. Nothing but broken promises. Lost hope. Abandoned plans. The fog is so thick now, it makes it hard to breath. I cannot see. It's useless. What did it all mean? What happened to my dream? What was it all for? I'm sorry. I have failed. I have let myself be ruled by emotion. I have lost my control. And now I feel my very sanity is threatened. I feel so alone. So very alone. Can you hear me? Are you out there? Do you even care? I have been discarded. Perhaps it wasn't time, perhaps I should have waited. But the dream beckoned to me. Seduced me. Made me believe that all was right, that all would be right. Well here I am. So lonely. Is there anyone there? All that is left of that lovely dream is dust, that fills my lungs and chokes me. --- Ok, for those of you going 'huh?'... a more literal description of the events passed might be in order. Some of you may recall the girl I dated three times, remained friends with, and helped when she attempted suicide. (For those that don't :
Tuesday, 30 November 2004 22:52:18
I have been feeling down for a while. I missed my cat that died last month, and otherwise I've been feeling pretty lonely and down. Last night I picked up a kitty. This kitty is young and dumb and full of energy and life, perfect. When I went to pick him up, his name was listed as John, I thought that was not a good name for a cat. I was trying to figure out a name, I was leaning towards Schroedinger, when I talked to my mom she thought I had named him John based on Farscape. I thought about it, and remembered that the shelter had chipped him in case he got lost, so I thought, "his name's John, he's got a chip, I'll call him Crichton."