I know what the three little switches do!!!

POSTED BY: chronicthehedgehog
UPDATED: Sunday, December 5, 2004 21:12
VIEWED: 10153
PAGE 1 of 1

CHRONICTHEHEDGEHOG

Monday, November 29, 2004 7:07 AM

Two words: Automatic Pilot

check out my WIP firefly roleplay system at www.estador.co.uk/firefly

BARCLAY

Monday, November 29, 2004 4:19 PM

I think the question is not "what do the three switches do." But "what do the three switches not do?"

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Monday, November 29, 2004 5:29 PM

An even better question would be

What will the three little switches do that they haven't done yet?

I'd like to see it make coffee. :)

Cilantro!
TCM

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TETHYS

Monday, November 29, 2004 6:21 PM

Noo...it's "Do we need to duck when Wash hits the three little switches?"

"Your mouth is talking. Might wanna see to that"

FFYING2

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 1:25 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Barclay:
I think the question is not "what do the three switches do." But "what do the three switches not do?"

Oh, I thought the question was not "what can the three switches do for Wash?" But "what can Wash do for the three switches?"

J.F.K.-edly,

Ying
Firefly Funsite http://fireflyfunsite.home.att.net
Firefly Chinese Pinyinary http://fireflychinese.home.att.net

Browncoats.com http://www.browncoats.com

LINDLEY

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 3:49 AM

In Soviet Russia, the three switches flip you.

ZOID

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 8:30 AM

The insightful chronicthehedgehog and Fellow Browncoats:

Clearly, the three switches, masterfully and decisively switched, turn Wash into an Action (Big Damn) Hero. Without them, Wash is only our alter-ego, the show's resident couch potato...

Flippantly,

zoid

SIMONWHO

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 1:09 AM

Three switches? It's obvious! When you come back to your computer after leaving it for a while, you have to verify your log-in so no-one else can use it. Ergo, the three switches are marked Ctrl, Alt and Del.

Wait a minute, Microsoft is still around in 500 years time? Juh jun shr guh kwai-luh duh jin-jun.

I wonder if Wash is an MCSE?

EBONEZER

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 5:17 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:

Wait a minute, Microsoft is still around in 500 years time? Juh jun shr guh kwai-luh duh jin-jun.

Yes, yes it is. In Trash, there's a screen on the compactor thing that kaylee's worken on, and its some microsoft screen, apparently the Fix Problem screen too.

Also, the not gonna be depressed about the delay club declares war on this thread, with or without UN approval.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 5:57 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:

Yes, yes it is. In Trash, there's a screen on the compactor thing that kaylee's worken on, and its some microsoft screen, apparently the Fix Problem screen too.

Also, the not gonna be depressed about the delay club declares war on this thread, with or without UN approval.

*loads six rubber bands into six-shooter*
You folks might want to be careful. We're armed with stingy rubber bands. They leave red marks. Please raise your hands carefully where we can see them. Hey, who's got our flag?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

EBONEZER

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 6:23 AM

*Runs away with flag*

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 7:02 AM

* The Real Me walks in from the "Not gonna be depressed club" thread, just in time to see Ebo speed past him in the other direction carrying a flag. Puzzled, he turns to ThatWeirdGirl. *

Say, do we have a PLAN for this?

The Real Me

SHW

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 10:31 AM

We may not have a plan, but I have a flag... which I can't seen to upload to the thread. How does one reply w/ a picture?

while I wait for someone to tell me, eraV, the super duper pea shooter and I will hold back the non-treehouse members ;)

shw

PSYCHICRIVER

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 1:02 PM

Stand back, peeps...I've got my knitting needles ready!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

PSYCHICRIVER

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 1:02 PM

Stand back, peeps...I've got my knitting needles ready!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

EBONEZER

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 2:37 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by shw:
We may not have a plan, but I have a flag... which I can't seen to upload to the thread. How does one reply w/ a picture?

You can't! Because I already stole it! Bwahhahaha! Mine is an Evil laugh!

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 2:58 PM

* The Real Me whispers to Ebo: *

Uh, Ebo, I think that you stole OUR flag. The whole point of a raid like this is to steal THEIR flag. Besides, if shw made it, then shouldn't shw be our standard bearer?

The Real Me

SHW

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 4:07 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
* The Real Me whispers to Ebo: *

Uh, Ebo, I think that you stole OUR flag. The whole point of a raid like this is to steal THEIR flag. Besides, if shw made it, then shouldn't shw be our standard bearer?

The Real Me

YEAH!! RIGHT ON!

(i wasn't sure which side Ebo was fighting for. If i'd known she was on our side I might have noogied her at the time for stealing our flag... I guess I'll have to settle for poking her with a wooden spoon)

And I have decided to shun my veil. I am hereby the Balaclava Clad Bartender/Standard Bearer.

shw

ZOID

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 4:23 PM

*zoid sits and drinks pints of smuggled Castlemaine's XXXX from the tap at The Bottom of the Tree Pub and mirthfully watches the chaos, while Malicious curls languorously in the limbs above.*

Reflectively,

zoid

P.S.
*hic! burp!* 'scuse me...

SIMONWHO

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 4:33 PM

I've got their flag! I need covering fire!

SHINYSEVEN

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 4:36 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:

Wait a minute, Microsoft is still around in 500 years time? B]

Obviously. Just Doing Business As Blue Sun.

The wand is actually supposed to provide the target with a lottery win and a terrific new job. But those damn hackers kept finding the security holes....

No touching release dates!

THATWEIRDGIRL

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 6:28 PM

Hey, give that back!

Luckily, most of your board has left you alone to facew us. You leave me no choice *bends down to tighten boots* I will face you in Kaylee vs Simon combat. Now, I don't want to have to hurt you. Give me the treehouse flag, and I'll not hit you with a rubber band. Kay? *slowly inches way over to SimonWho and stretches out hand*

www.thatweirdgirl.com

SIMONWHO

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 7:25 PM

Bah, I rule at Kaylee vs Simon conflict. Let me see, what would he do in this situation? Oh yes, some sort of remark intended as a compliment but...

"I have to say, you can barely tell that you put on 20 pounds for this role, it's spread perfectly all over your body and face."

*runs off with flag while she starts crying*

THATWEIRDGIRL

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 7:58 PM

*wipes tears from her eyes*
sigh
*lifts chin, eyes growing wide with the realization that SimonWho is quite good at combat*

Hâo le! Why…you, hmmph. Tìan xiâo de, did you just call me fat? Cause it sounded like you said I was fat. You, dà ge, won’t get near these *runs grease stained hand down stomach and across hips* luscious curves for a very long time. *turns on heel and storms out of thread with flag tucked neatly behind her back*

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MALICIOUS

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 8:05 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
*zoid sits and drinks pints of smuggled Castlemaine's XXXX from the tap at The Bottom of the Tree Pub and mirthfully watches the chaos, while Malicious curls languorously in the limbs above.*

WHO is curled up WHERE, HOW??? Hmmmm, my drink will be problematic...

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

PSYCHICRIVER

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 8:45 PM

Well, SimonWho, I'm ashamed of you boy.

PsychicRiver steals a paper cup from the ThreeSwitches thread and runs back to the safety of the corner in the "Im am not going to be depressed about the delay" clubhouse.

But then, PR realises that while he was out, some BASTARRD has stolen his knitting needles.

His eyes narrow.

And his grasp around the paper cup tightens and it crumbles to pieces.

"This is war."

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

BILLYUNO

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 11:05 PM

*blinks, looks around*

*runs back up to look at the original subject*

Okay three little switches: Make everyone insane. I always knew there was a use for them. It must be the dispenser. Yep.

ZOID

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 11:51 PM

Mmmm-a-lishus:

Goody! A rare opportunity to quote myself! Over in the 'not getting depressed because of the delay' thread, zoid wrote about his new pub at the bottom of the tree wherein the club treehouse resides:

Quote:
I fancy a pub shingle with a stylized Tree of Knowledge, Adam and Eve sharing an apple at its base, while The Serpent (affectionately known to pub regulars as 'Malicious') curls in a limb above... I'm even amenable to the notion that the Tree has a treehouse in it, with most of its patrons camped on its sagging roof. How's that for symbolism?

This makes you the very symbol of Temptation. Did you miss that one? And here I thought you CTRL-F'd every page you visited to see who was using your monikers in vain...

Self-Referentially,

zoid
Publican, "The Bottom of the Tree"

THEGREYJEDI

Thursday, December 2, 2004 12:50 AM

*releases a barrage of Spam(potted meat, not email), uncanned and cooked onto the unsuspecting Three Switchers from the trebuchet in the I'm Not Depressed Club's Tree-borne fortifications!*

Rubi!!!1

*grabs the flag!*

Yoinks! And away!

------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

SIMONWHO

Thursday, December 2, 2004 1:43 AM

Aha! You cannot threaten me with Spam, for I know the magical ingredients that will turn it into spam fritters. Mighty tasty, especially with a side order of duck.

TWGirl, it's just not playing fair to give me mental image of Kaylee rubbing grease across her bare flesh. The only way I can calm myself down now is to supplant that image with you in her place.

*browses http://www.pbase.com/thatweirdgirl to see what she looks like in real life*

Okay, this is just not fair.

I'm going to sit in a nice, dark corner for a while and make a new flag. Oh look, knitting needles, wherever did I get those?

MALICIOUS

Thursday, December 2, 2004 1:45 AM

Zoid,

No, I got it. It was just soooo long ago and I forget things.

Spastically,

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

EBONEZER

Thursday, December 2, 2004 2:01 AM

*breaks out into song*

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam....

Looks around for flag, can remember which flag it which. Get confused. Runs back to treehouse and hides under the pool table.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

CHRONICTHEHEDGEHOG

Thursday, December 2, 2004 2:32 AM

*gets caught up in the singing*

Lovely Spaaaam, Wonderful Spaaam!

check out my WIP firefly roleplay system at www.estador.co.uk/firefly

THEREALME

Thursday, December 2, 2004 2:35 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:

"I have to say, you can barely tell that you put on 20 pounds for this role, it's spread perfectly all over your body and face."

*runs off with flag while she starts crying*

* As That Weird Girl stalks away, the Real Me, face full of surprise and rage, levels his hi-tech squirt gun at SimonWho and blasts him. *

You said WHAT to her?!

* The Real Me walks over to a dazed SimonWho and grabs the knitting needles held weakly in his hands. *

THESE don't look like yours, either!

* The Real Me surveys the Switches thread, looking for a flag. Seeing none, he turns back to SimonWho, mustering up as much determination as allowed by a man in a silly Kaylee costume. *

I'll be back!

* The Real Me departs. *

The Real Me

ZOID

Thursday, December 2, 2004 2:47 AM

ebonezer wrote:

Quote:
...Four out of five gynecologists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

Speaking of side orders of duck, I'd really watch out for that 5th gynecologist, ladies...

Inspectively,

zoid

THEGREYJEDI

Thursday, December 2, 2004 2:54 AM

Maybe the fifth one recommends calling Ebo "My mistress" or "ma'am"

------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

EBONEZER

Thursday, December 2, 2004 2:58 AM

I have my suspicions about the validity of that 5th gyno's medical license.

Apparently The Canton School of Medicine isn't a real place.

I know 'cuz I googled it.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Thursday, December 2, 2004 3:02 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:

TWGirl, it's just not playing fair to give me mental image of Kaylee rubbing grease across her bare flesh. The only way I can calm myself down now is to supplant that image with you in her place.

*browses http://www.pbase.com/thatweirdgirl to see what she looks like in real life*

Okay, this is just not fair.

I'm going to sit in a nice, dark corner for a while and make a new flag. Oh look, knitting needles, wherever did I get those?

I din't say bare flesh, but I'm glad you took the threat seriously.

I am prepared to apologize and call the others for a negotiation of terms. Fact is, I can't stay mad at you for long. so. Perhaps you would be willing to bring your flag making skills over to the treehouse and join our band of merry men and women?
*places rubberbands in pocket. looks up and smiles oh so innocently at SimonWho*

www.thatweirdgirl.com

OXYOPIA

Thursday, December 2, 2004 3:07 AM

Sorry to get back on topic, but I think I figured out what the three switches REALLY do:

As we all know from watching Serenity (the pilot episode, not the vessel), the control yoke that guides the ship can suddenly and mysteriously disapear in one's own hands (especially if the camera pans unexpectedly to the left). The three switches help to prevent that from happening, which is why Wash is constantly flipping them.

-Oxy

------------------------------------------------

'What people call impossible is just stuff they
haven't seen yet...'

------------------------------------------------

EBONEZER

Thursday, December 2, 2004 3:22 AM

Whats this about a truce?

No way. Thats a little to sportmanlike for my tastes thank you very much.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

SIMONWHO

Thursday, December 2, 2004 3:37 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

I din't say bare flesh, but I'm glad you took the threat seriously.

I am prepared to apologize and call the others for a negotiation of terms. Fact is, I can't stay mad at you for long. so. Perhaps you would be willing to bring your flag making skills over to the treehouse and join our band of merry men and women?
*places rubberbands in pocket. looks up and smiles oh so innocently at SimonWho*

Well, given that most of those supporting this thread seem to have a fatalistic viewpoint not seen since the Aztecs, a peace treaty sounds sensible. Plus of course you know that all Kaylee vs Simon combats end up with us making up and one tending the other's wounds. For the treaty itself, I suggest that either I bring a tribute of two good suggestions for what the switches are to your thread or we merge both our threads into one giant "I'm Not Going To Be Depressed About The Delay Because I Know What The Three Little Switches Do" thread and gang up on the Firefly Questionnaire.

But instead of rubber bands, let's invade the Eddie Izzard way. "Do you have a flag? No? Then you belong to us, those are the rules."

THEGREYJEDI

Thursday, December 2, 2004 3:54 AM

No flag, no country! *plants the Not'Depressedian flag in the ground.*

And since I took your flag already, this thread now belongs to the Not'Depressedians! Take that, Switchers!

------------------------------------------------------------
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http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

YT

Thursday, December 2, 2004 4:11 AM

Meanwhile, back @the ranch, here's the backstory:

Wash, like every pilot in the 'verse, learned to fly in simulators. In particular, he learned to fly Serenity in a Firefly simulator.

As to what the three little switches do (may I have the envelope, please), the answer is . . .

Nothing

On Serenity, those three little switches, or the subsystems to which they are connected, are broken. Wash doesn't remember what specifically they are supposed to do, but he does remember when & under what circumstances he's supposed to flick 'em. So he does.

So far, they haven't crashed.

As an exercise for the student, watch Firefly again, looking for the expression on Wash's face during those rare moments when Serenity handles funny, but he doesn't know why.

Keep the Shiny Side Up

THEREALME

Thursday, December 2, 2004 4:13 AM

Pssst! Jedi! If YOU are over HERE...

Then who is manning the trebuchet?

The Real Me

THEGREYJEDI

Thursday, December 2, 2004 4:33 AM

Static's got my back. He's just real quiet like. It's that Army sneaky training stuff.

------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

PSYCHICRIVER

Thursday, December 2, 2004 9:10 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
For the treaty itself, I suggest that either I bring a tribute of two good suggestions for what the switches are to your thread or we merge both our threads into one giant "I'm Not Going To Be Depressed About The Delay Because I Know What The Three Little Switches Do" thread and gang up on the Firefly Questionnaire.

Noooo!!! That's my thread, you can't do that! It's so pretty! Besides, I already belong to the "I'm am not going to be delayed about the depressed club"! And so, "The Firefly Questionnaire! Woohoo!" thread is already property of the "Im am not going to be delayed anout the depressed club!", so hopefully I have their protection. And you only want a treaty cos you've realised we outnumber you, Deirdre! NEVER! Because YOU stole my knitting needles! Btw TheRealMe, thank you very much for taxing them from him. And BethyB, where are you? Get in here, and bring the wooly shackles we made!

It's time for some torture.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

PSYCHICRIVER

Thursday, December 2, 2004 9:10 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
For the treaty itself, I suggest that either I bring a tribute of two good suggestions for what the switches are to your thread or we merge both our threads into one giant "I'm Not Going To Be Depressed About The Delay Because I Know What The Three Little Switches Do" thread and gang up on the Firefly Questionnaire.

Noooo!!! That's my thread, you can't do that! It's so pretty! Besides, I already belong to the "I'm am not going to be delayed about the depressed club"! And so, "The Firefly Questionnaire! Woohoo!" thread is already property of the "Im am not going to be delayed anout the depressed club!", so hopefully I have their protection. And you only want a treaty cos you've realised we out number you, Deirdre! NEVER! Because YOU stole my knitting needles! Btw TheRealMe, thank you very much for taxing them from him. And BethyB, where are you? Get in here, and bring the wooly shackles we made!

It's time for some torture.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

THATWEIRDGIRL

Thursday, December 2, 2004 5:52 PM

Pssst. are you okay? Ther was this funny note under the pool table and it worried us. Do you think you can stand? No. Okay. I'll be back later with the menfolk. Not sure hwne they get off work. Here's some m&ms and reeces pieces to get you thru the day.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

PSYCHICRIVER

Thursday, December 2, 2004 10:50 PM

Oh, thank god! No, wait. Thank ThatWeirdGirl! I went back to our old clubhouse/thread to pick up my knitting needles, and when I was there they cut the lights, and knocked me out. They draged me here threw me in this room, and they tortured me...with my own knitting needles! *Sobs*

*PsychicRiver lies bound and gagged in a dark room filled with...spam? PsychicRiver sighs (I don't like spam!) PR's clothes are bloodied, with cuts all over his body. One single and lonely tear rolls down PR's cheek, just before he hears footsteps outside the door. The door opens, casting light on Pr's face. PR looks up and his eyes widen as he sees his torturer has returned, who is wearing...a gyneacologist mask? And wielding none other than PR's own (now rather bloodied) knitting needles.*

HELP!

I'm nearly out of M&M's and reeces pieces!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

THATWEIRDGIRL

Thursday, December 2, 2004 11:09 PM

Are you okay? i sent for reinforcements. Hoepfully they'll be here soon. Good luck. I must be off to work.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

PSYCHICRIVER

Thursday, December 2, 2004 11:17 PM

Thank you, thank you for helping me. I don't know if im going to make it. Did you understand my letter?

When I get back, there are things I must tell you all.

*PR goes cross eyed and blacks out.*

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

EBONEZER

Friday, December 3, 2004 12:42 AM

I'm here!

I'm ready to take you away and save you and such!

*Goes to pick up river. Realizes that PR is heavy and Ebo is not strong. Turns around to look for some way of waking PR up so that PR can carry PR's own self.*

Suddenly, Ebo comes face to face with:

THE FIFTH OBG-YN!

She punches the 5th gynecologist then hides under the table.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

MALICIOUS

Friday, December 3, 2004 1:32 AM

(Mal-licious wheels in her handy handtruck and rolls it over to Ebo then helps her load up PsychicRiver. Since he's passed out, we have to truss him up so he stays on the handcart. Hmmm. He looks a tad like Hannibal Lecter but we'll just disregard that for the moment. Mal-licious goes back to the new club thread.)

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

PSYCHICRIVER

Sunday, December 5, 2004 8:47 PM

Evil fookin three switches bastards!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

THATWEIRDGIRL

Sunday, December 5, 2004 9:12 PM

I think YT is on to something here.

broken subsystems....hmm....yes, you may be right.

www.thatweirdgirl.com