Imponderables: Leader Of The Pack

POSTED BY: nvghostrider
UPDATED: Wednesday, July 22, 2009 20:01
VIEWED: 26256
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NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, June 30, 2009 11:08 PM

Okay ladies and gents, preferred method of child reading as seen in the animal world. Eagles and wolves mate for life, Lions opt for communal arrangement; so what would you ideal method be?

Previous thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=2&t=38753&m=713459#top

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The country is making a big mistake not teaching kids to cook and raise a garden and build fires.
-Loretta Lynn

MSA

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 12:22 AM

Well I think you need minimum 2 people to raise a child and it wouldn't hurt to have more help. Babies are hard hard work...

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

LEOPARDFLAN

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 12:35 AM

Ah darn, missed the firsties :[

I would say go communal, like with the lions. That way the rents don't have to suffer all the time for their kid, lolz

ZEROKIRYU

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 12:45 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by LeopardFlan:
Ah darn, missed the firsties :[

I would say go communal, like with the lions. That way the rents don't have to suffer all the time for their kid, lolz

Nah, particularly because other peoples kids can be bastards, I know this for a fact.

Oh no, the zombies killed god!

LEOPARDFLAN

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 12:48 AM

Well, that means that the lions 'on duty', so to speak, could teach all the kids good manners! Right?

ZEROKIRYU

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 1:22 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by LeopardFlan:
Well, that means that the lions 'on duty', so to speak, could teach all the kids good manners! Right?

No one can teach these kids good manners, trust me.

Oh no, the zombies killed god!

LEOPARDFLAN

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 1:26 AM

Ah.. but if you were able to get a chance at them while they were still young and impressionable, then you could make them behave, right?

ZEROKIRYU

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 1:38 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by LeopardFlan:
Ah.. but if you were able to get a chance at them while they were still young and impressionable, then you could make them behave, right?

One can't say that with certainty because, and I think msa will back me up on this, what works for one child might not work for another.

In this day and age it won't work, with there being so many different opinions on how to raise a child. What one person considers is okay for their child, another might not.

Oh no, the zombies killed god!

MSA

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 1:43 AM

Children behave when their parents teach them expected behavior
Example " when you are in the library you use this voice ( demonstrate voice tone) and we walk slowly and remember to put books back"
Praise and reward appropriate behavior, provide consistent consequences for inappropriate behavior and bingo... well behaved kids. It's actual work which is why you see so many bratty kids... it's the Malcolm in the Middle problem.
In Malcolm you see the mom notice other family's kids behave and she becomes irate and constantly yells at her kids for their failure to behave, but you never notice her rewarding good behavior, explaining what behavior she expects, or teaching them what she wants them to do. A lot of parents lack the understanding and skills which is why Nanny 911 is so popular yet so many parents don't get that the reason she can get the kids to behave isn't magic, it's simple explanation of the rules and expectations followed by consequences either good or bad for their behavior
It's not easy since you have to work on it all the time from when they are young... the word behave means jack.. what you mean by it is I want these kids to demonstrate these behaviors in these situations.
Kids replicate whatever behavior they see. If they are in a situation where parents swear all the time and are rude to others... kids will do the same and yelling at them won't fix that. You have to demonstrate what behavior you want and explicitly teach it and provide reinforcement of the behavior you desire and the kid will make mistakes. You have to be patient and continue to re-teach and reinforce desired behaviors without being unkind or yelling. It's the only way to get kids who " behave"
And yes what works for one kid won't work for another in terms of motivation or reinforcer. You have to individualize and play to strengths... if the kid is good at being social then reinforce socially... Also some kids are more skilled than others. You have to figure out what the kid can and can't do and help them get better at the expected behaviors.
So if all the people who have contact with the kid have the same system then it works.... it's great for parents to get some help but it ends up defeating the purpose if the other care givers have different standards or reinforce different behaviors
To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

LEOPARDFLAN

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 2:01 AM

Ah, I see. Both of you make perfect sense, and I'm not that unhappy about being proven wrong

MSA

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 2:12 PM

Well raising kids who act appropriately and are responsible takes a lot of very hard work. A lot of people somehow think that if you have them and just sort of let them do whatever then yell when they screw up that the kids will do better... sadly not so much.
Plus I think a lot of people just didn't grow up with good parenting examples ( I blame the permissive 70's do whatever you want attitude) and once you don't have a good example it's harder for you to know what to do. So you just bumble along and are frustrated it doesn't work.

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

BLACK12AKYTCA

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 3:55 PM

You're right, again (as usual, lolz)..

Stan- Mobbex is playing lunch and Aky is making a guitar

RHYIANAN

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 4:57 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:

So if all the people who have contact with the kid have the same system then it works.... it's great for parents to get some help but it ends up defeating the purpose if the other care givers have different standards or reinforce different behaviors

Working in a daycare when I was a teenager really reinforced this. We had one parent that was adamant that we could not tell her child "no". Instead, we were supposed to simply tell the little girl "stop". The daycare compromised by telling every child "no, stop it" so that everyone knew that the behavior displayed was inappropriate. The compromise was necessary for the children to learn by each other's example as well as from the adults. Other than that, we tried to individualize the best we could, but sometimes it was difficult considering the structure and function of the daycare. Sometimes a particular child wasn't a good fit with us, but did very well somewhere else.

We also had children that ran wild at home and therefore were not well behaved at all. Their parents were usually outraged that their children were put in time out more often than the other children, thinking that the kids were singled out for some reason. I found that the younger children were easier to deal with than the older ones, but they were also more confused by the different set of rules. If they had started with us from a young age, they learned to use one set of rules at home and another at the day care. Once they hit school age without that kind of training, it was usually hopeless to try and get them to behave unless the parents were exceptionally great.

I loved working with the kids, but I don't think that I'd be able to do it all the time. In the four years I spent at the day care, I met more parents that should never have had children than competent parents. At times it seemed like an uphill battle, since the parents didn't seem to care what their children did, or they taught them things that were completely off the wall. I'll never forget trying to explain to a child that she could have severely hurt another kid, only to hear the response "I don't have to care what happens to him because he's not related to me". That is what her parents taught her, that it doesn't matter if you paralyze or kill another person unless they are related. My summers nannying kids were better (can I use nanny as a verb?), since I was there all the time and was able to keep things consistent. The parents were wonderful and we all did everything we could not to contradict each other. I didn't have to fight against what their parents were doing, and it was all around a better experience.

*edit* This makes it sound like all parents I've dealt with are awful, which isn't true, just that the parents that would not parent were more plentiful. There were many great children that I loved, who had wonderful parents.

I'm a leaf on the wind

MSA

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 6:38 PM

Rhyianan I understand completely. there are some really good parents out there, but when you do child care or teaching you run into so many people who just have no idea how to parent or whose ideas about acceptable are so far off. I actually had to explain to a friend of mine why it was unacceptable to let his 3 year old say the f word.. I know he just thought it was funny, but when the kid gets to school the kid is going to be in constant trouble and be given consequences when he has no idea why it's wrong... eventually I got him to understand how letting the kid do that would be viewed by others and how many problems it would cause his kid in school settings and once he realized it he was able to change it.

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 7:38 PM

I think the mate for life thing is just easier logistically. It is too difficult to find a group that is full of like minded people who are all focused on the same goals. It's hard enough to get two people on the same track. At least with two people it's easier to compromise.

Besides I don't think I'd be the alpha male of many groups. So, big no to that.

MSA

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 10:59 PM

Aww I think you'd be the Alpha Zeek;)
But yes two people works well...also better to discuss with each other all the things you need to before hand.

Example we decided that Baby John can go on group dates when he's 14 and dates by himself when he's 15

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

SOLARFLARE

Thursday, July 2, 2009 2:07 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
I actually had to explain to a friend of mine why it was unacceptable to let his 3 year old say the f word..

Wow. I'm just in awe that you had to explain this. I shouldn't be surprised...

ZEEK

Thursday, July 2, 2009 2:40 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
dates by himself when he's 15

That's all well and good but I'm going to hope that he meets another person to go on the date with him.

MSA

Thursday, July 2, 2009 3:42 PM

LOL one can hope, but since he'll have his daddy's good looks and charm I'm sure our big problem will be making sure there's only one other person on the date

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Friday, July 3, 2009 5:02 PM

Everybody off today? Sleeping in is so nice.

MSA

Friday, July 3, 2009 5:26 PM

DOn't taunt the pregnant lady... I miss sleeping sooooo much

HUGS Zeek I'm glad you got to sleep in :) So what are your plans for the 4th weekend??

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Friday, July 3, 2009 6:01 PM

BBQ and fireworks. Any time not consumed by those activities will be used to play online poker.

FREELANCERTEX

Friday, July 3, 2009 7:37 PM

bbq at Harkness state park (beautiful beach, more of a park than a beach, complete with really old mansion (with gardens) and stone amphitheater where many weddings are held) with the dad's side of the fam on sunday, if only THE FRAKING RAIN WILL STOP

MSA

Friday, July 3, 2009 7:45 PM

When you play online poker...do you win real money??

ooh picnic is good...sorry about the rain though..send it our way

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Friday, July 3, 2009 8:36 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
When you play online poker...do you win real money??

Yep I play the massive .10/.25 tables.

MSA

Friday, July 3, 2009 11:02 PM

oooh well we know who will be financing our tropical island retreat:) HUGS

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

MSA

Saturday, July 4, 2009 1:26 AM

NVG here:

Actually kind of a laid back day today. Tonight I have a few drinks, hunt terrorists via Rainbow Six Vegas 2, cook some stirfry for the womans and myself, and assemble the crib.

Damn. I better get crackin'.

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

BLACK12AKYTCA

Saturday, July 4, 2009 4:26 AM

I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW!!!

We bought so many pretty fireworks....

Stan- Mobbex is playing lunch and Aky is making a guitar

ZEEK

Saturday, July 4, 2009 4:29 PM

Happy 4th!

Remember your firework safety.

FREELANCERTEX

Saturday, July 4, 2009 5:20 PM

what. a dumbass. ><;; not to mention it looks really painful, but that's his fault :P

happy fourth everyone ^_^

ZEEK

Saturday, July 4, 2009 6:08 PM

I have no idea what he was doing or what he expected to happen, but I smile every time I see that explosion.

BLACK12AKYTCA

Saturday, July 4, 2009 6:13 PM

Pretty...

Stan- Mobbex is playing lunch and Aky is making a guitar

FREELANCERTEX

Saturday, July 4, 2009 10:07 PM

i mean, what was he *trying* to do?? i'm not even gonna ask what he was thinking cuz i know he wasnt XD

lolz, Black12 ur evil

but seriously that belongs on failblog.

BLACK12AKYTCA

Saturday, July 4, 2009 10:11 PM

Well, yes, I am (generally, that's a side effect of being a pyromaniac XD). I don't think I even wanna know what he was thinking, though..

And you're right, tex, that definitely belongs on Failblog XD.

So you like calling me Black12 rather than RF now, do ya?

Stan- Mobbex is playing lunch and Aky is making a guitar

FREELANCERTEX

Sunday, July 5, 2009 11:00 PM

@_@ didnt know it was u RF. will u stop changing ur frickin username?

whats the significance of this one?

BLACK12AKYTCA

Monday, July 6, 2009 2:11 AM

Will it stop being humid in KS? Same answer XD

See my log for that, it's a bit long and I don't feel like repeating myself :P

Stan- Mobbex is playing lunch and Aky is making a guitar

ZEEK

Monday, July 6, 2009 2:44 PM

*head explodes*

There should be a mandate that idiotic emails cannot be sent on Monday mornings.

The moronic bean counters at my company are furious because they asked us to reduce cost of some product testing. So, we told them that the reason the testing costs so much is they're doing it right before the product is ready to be released where it's a huge pain to change anything. The problems we run into don't have to wait until the end to be tested so if they ran a smaller test early on for these problems then our later test could be shorter and most likely wouldn't end up in huge issues. All they hear is "pay for another test cycle". There are notes flying around with bolded sentences basically screaming that we are under no circumstances supposed to push to spend more money.

OK idiots, but you asked how to save money and we told you. Don't blame us that you can't look at the big picture.

MSA

Monday, July 6, 2009 3:13 PM

Oh Zeek... HUGS I'm sorry they're stupid

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Monday, July 6, 2009 10:11 PM

*head explodes again*

This has been a crazy day from the get go but now someone is playing an mp3 of a bagpipes version of "amazing grace" somewhere on my floor. No one needs bagpipe music in an office! If you like it get some headphones!! I don't really like yelling at adults but if this goes on much longer I'm going to have to hunt this jerk down.

MSA

Monday, July 6, 2009 10:56 PM

Oh sweety that sucks big time

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

AVERYFINECOMPANION

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 12:50 AM

I dislike bag pipes, a lot.

ZEROKIRYU

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 12:58 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by averyfinecompanion:
I dislike bag pipes, a lot.

They're alright, in small doses.

Oh no, the zombies killed god!

NAVYSEILS

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 1:10 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by averyfinecompanion:
I dislike bag pipes, a lot.

People play them all the time out in the streets here. It's always the same tune. I'm thinking bagpipes can only play the one song.

MSA

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 1:31 AM

or maybe all the songs sounds the same on the bagpipes....

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

BLACK12AKYTCA

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 2:10 AM

No, not really- I've heard lots of different songs from bag pipes (and I <3 bag pipes!)

Stan- Mobbex is playing lunch and Aky is making a guitar

NAVYSEILS

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 2:38 AM

I actually dont mind them too much, which is just as well, cause they're loud and all over the town drowning out the sound of hobos with penny whistles and accordians. I'm still not convinced there's more than one song though. Ok maybe two... sometimes I hear them throw the flower of scotland in there too.

BLACK12AKYTCA

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 2:56 AM

It's not the fault of the bag pipe, it's the fault of the players :P

Stan- Mobbex is playing lunch and Aky is making a guitar

ZEEK

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 2:14 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by zerokiryu:
They're alright, in small doses.

I agree. Which is why people should not force them on others. Luckily the "music" stopped after a couple more minutes. I'm hoping for a head explosion free day. *crosses fingers*

MSA

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 2:24 PM

NVG here:

I am actually a big fan of historically illicit articles, including bagpipes. Yet, I think they are more widely accepted in a musical ensemble.

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

MSA

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 5:30 PM

Hey all...MSA again.

NV has just assembled the crib YAY!! It's so darling:) Once the bedding gets here and we get everything put up I'll take pics for you all:)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 2:57 PM

*Zeek sleepy*

OK not really a ponder just a quick question. Last night was poker night with friends. So, there's one girl from work who I pretty much only ever run into on the elevator. We tend to just make small talk for the 30 seconds or whatever and that's that. I don't recall talking to her much during the game. We ended up with enough people to have two tables and she was at the other one. Anyway when I was leaving I said bye to everyone and I was turned around and out of the room heading for the door and she calls me back to say, "I'll see you in the elevator sometime". Me *pause* "yeah we do seem to run into each other from time to time...see ya later". Is her line flirting? Cause that's all I can come up with. It seemed like an "I can't let him just leave without getting his attention" type of thing to me. Am I crazy or was that flirting?

MSA

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 3:27 PM

Brick on standby....
Yes Zeek that was flirting. That was I am interested in you and have been trying to attract your attention for ages flirting... now the question is, what do you plan to do about it??

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 4:00 PM

hehe I left out details. It wasn't flirting. At least I hope not cause I went to her wedding and her husband was right there. Still as I was walking out I was thinking "if she was single I would have pegged that as flirting 100%". I think she was probably just being friendly and just ended up being awkward.

It is sort of funny that we both went to the same college and the same major a year apart and didn't know each other at all in school and ended up meeting down in TX. Though I'm better friends with her husband who also went to Purdue. Mainly cause he plays poker with us more often than she does.

MSA

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 4:15 PM

Or she's work flirting with you.. just 'cause you're happily married doesn't mean you don't harmless flirt to have fun( and feel cute)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 4:34 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
Or she's work flirting with you.. just 'cause you're happily married doesn't mean you don't harmless flirt to have fun( and feel cute)

Ah I guess I can see that. Usually when I'm just play flirting it's with my single female friends that I'm close enough with where we know it's just playing around. I've never flirted with a married woman before. I think I'd feel weird doing that.

MSA

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 8:05 PM

It's not real flirting it's more a fun banter ... it is kinda of flirting because of the banter, but since everyone involved knows it means nothing and isn't going anywhere it's just for fun:)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

AVERYFINECOMPANION

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 11:16 PM

Work flirting is fun. I myself used to be a work wife. I guess that happens waaaaay more then people think.

MSA

Thursday, July 9, 2009 5:00 PM

I now work with all women...but I like them a lot

HUGS Avery so how are you doing??

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Thursday, July 9, 2009 6:57 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
I now work with all women

I fully condone any work flirting you choose to engage in.

BLACK12AKYTCA

Thursday, July 9, 2009 10:17 PM

-snerk- XD

Stan- Mobbex is playing lunch and Aky is making a guitar

MSA

Friday, July 10, 2009 3:05 PM

LOL Zero sweety:)

Morning all

OK ponder what is the best present you've ever gotten?

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Friday, July 10, 2009 6:18 PM

Easy Pre-screening with Nathan and Ron. Thanks Universal!!!

That was divine intervention btw. By the time I found out about them the screening in Austin was sold out but I still setup URLy to refresh the page on fandango every minute looking for changes. The thing went off and sure enough the buy option was there again. I quickly bought two tickets and then thought maybe I should get more for other friends and sure enough it was sold out again never to return. I went to the theater to pick up my ticket the minute I got off work in case it was a glitch that they were going to try to correct later.

BLACK12AKYTCA

Friday, July 10, 2009 7:33 PM

I would have to say it was one of the myriad shopping trips the rents let me have with Dani (it's kind of a tradition to give me shopping trips as presents, since I'm not good at thinking up prezzies for others to give me..)

Stan- Mobbex is playing lunch and Aky is making a guitar

BRIGLAD

Friday, July 10, 2009 7:56 PM

I would have to say it was just before last Christmas when Rose got the results back from her MRI and we found out that 99% of her cancer had been taken care of by Chemo.

Second best was two months ago when she got a clean bill of health.

B

FREELANCERTEX

Friday, July 10, 2009 10:02 PM

that's a pretty awesome double present right there. don't think i can top that.

my best present was my boyfriend coming to visit me in tech school when i really needed him most. i was about twelve seconds away from quitting, and seeing him after almost four months gave me enough of a tether to push through. :)

MSA

Friday, July 10, 2009 11:42 PM

Zeek my seething jealousy nknows no bounds...

Briglad that is sweet!!

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

MSA

Saturday, July 11, 2009 4:02 PM

Bumpin for the day

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

FREELANCERTEX

Saturday, July 11, 2009 4:41 PM

Here's a rather brooding ponder: at what point do you say enough is enough in a relationship? (I'm not talking abuse or anything, 'cause those relationships should be ended immediately without any need for debate) I'm talking about where one or both members have had enough of each other, and their behavior is getting in the way of a decent relationship with other members of the family. should it even end? or should they just push through it even though they seem to constantly make each other unhappy around others?

MSA

Sunday, July 12, 2009 12:52 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
Easy Pre-screening with Nathan and Ron. Thanks Universal!!!

That was divine intervention btw. By the time I found out about them the screening in Austin was sold out but I still setup URLy to refresh the page on fandango every minute looking for changes. The thing went off and sure enough the buy option was there again. I quickly bought two tickets and then thought maybe I should get more for other friends and sure enough it was sold out again never to return. I went to the theater to pick up my ticket the minute I got off work in case it was a glitch that they were going to try to correct later.

NVG here:

Zeek sucks. Not really but kinda a lot.

*end message*

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

BLACK12AKYTCA

Sunday, July 12, 2009 2:28 AM

@tex- Probably when both of you realize that you've both 'had enough with each other'..

you know, I would totally do this-
http://www.brokenplotdevice.com/2008/09/15/coffee-cover-up/
.... and this!
http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.php?s=381
Both are awesome webcomics, and I would higly recommend reading both of them ^.^

BORIS

Sunday, July 12, 2009 3:00 AM

From years of experience, kids are only "bastards" when they are raised wrong or if they have "isms" etc. And even then alot of the time the behaviour can be redirected. I think raising kids should mainly be done by parents who would ideally be strongly supported by family, friends and community networks.

FREELANCERTEX

Sunday, July 12, 2009 5:45 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Black12Akytca: Probably when both of you realize that you've both 'had enough with each other'..

apparently not, because 34 years of marriage later.... the "I've had enough" comments started..i don't know when, probably a year or so ago, the petty arguing and hurting of each other's feelings never seems to stop, especially when other people are around, and when one of the members of the relationship actually dreads the other coming back to the house from, say, nextdoor? I'm like "um....that's a bad sign, isn't it?"

each person is completely fine on their own, as soon as they get in a room together, it's like an automatic explosion.

..where'd the bastards comment stem from, boris? i think i lost part of a convo again ><;;

BLACK12AKYTCA

Sunday, July 12, 2009 6:15 PM

o.O Perhaps a divorce is in order for them, then..? Or maybe they really need therapy, or an extended vacation away from each other?

you know, I would totally do this-
http://www.brokenplotdevice.com/2008/09/15/coffee-cover-up/
.... and this!
http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.php?s=381
Both are awesome webcomics, and I would higly recommend reading both of them ^.^

ZEEK

Monday, July 13, 2009 3:11 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
NVG here:

Zeek sucks. Not really but kinda a lot.

*end message*

Seriously the energy in that theater was insane. There were a number of people crying at the end even. It was crazy and I don't think I'll ever forget it.

MSA

Monday, July 13, 2009 4:17 PM

You're just mean... mean I say

HUGS Zeek

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

FREELANCERTEX

Monday, July 13, 2009 8:11 PM

RF: i'd vote therapy, except one of the parties involved doesn't think they have a problem, and they definitely do (the whole admission thing just doesn't happen). divorce might seem extreme to some, but considering, i really think they both might be happier. maybe a little lonely, but happier without the constant arguing...at least one of them would be ><;;

zeek: why were ppl crying?

ZEEK

Monday, July 13, 2009 8:17 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by freelancertex:
RF: i'd vote therapy, except one of the parties involved doesn't think they have a problem, and they definitely do (the whole admission thing just doesn't happen). divorce might seem extreme to some, but considering, i really think they both might be happier. maybe a little lonely, but happier without the constant arguing...at least one of them would be ><;;

zeek: why were ppl crying?

Divorce can get very ugly. I vote the counseling route first. There was love there at some point. Maybe a professional can find out what happened to it and find a way to revive it.

My cousin is going through the process of getting a divorce and the stories I'm getting relayed through my mom just make me cringe. Of course it's all one sided in favor of my cousin, but it sounds like they're really mad at each other. The things that drive me nuts are the parts where they're trying to hurt each other and end up hurting their kids in the process. Like allegedly keeping things the kid wants at one house or the other just so the kid won't be happy when he's with the other parent.

I'm sure not all divorces get so ugly but the potential alone is frightening to me.

And the crying was for Wash I think. I didn't talk to the people who were crying I just made fun of them later.

FREELANCERTEX

Monday, July 13, 2009 10:23 PM

counselling is hard when person A thinks everything is person B's fault, and person B thinks everything is person A's fault because person B has had enough of person A's bullshit, rightfully so, and person A insists that person A has no problems at all--because everything is the other person's fault. they can't talk things out anymore, at all. i think only one of them would ever consent to trying that, honestly, so it kind of gets stuck.

*sigh* counselling might work, but i'm afraid they'd just revert after a while. their attitudes can turn on a dime. they're not bad people, and they're not always miserable, but they seem miserable more often than not.

BLACK12AKYTCA

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 1:18 AM

Ouch.. this really does seem like a bad situation. I don't have any other ideas, other than the counseling/divorce..

you know, I would totally do this-
http://www.brokenplotdevice.com/2008/09/15/coffee-cover-up/
.... and this!
http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.php?s=381
Both are awesome webcomics, and I would higly recommend reading both of them ^.^

FREELANCERTEX

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 1:31 AM

lol. the funny thing is they'd flip if they knew i was writing this about them, then follow with "YOU'RE MAKING IT SEEM LIKE WE FIGHT ALL THE TIME!!" to which i'd haaave to respond, "well....you kind of do (at least when i'm around)." but yeah, seriously, i wish i had a way to record/tape their explosice instances so i could show them "this is what people see. maybe its not true, but it sure as hell seems it."

*lights up bat signal to fix problem*

[/ponder] yuck, that was some bad juju to unload ><;;

ponder: what does it mean when people from your mother's work ask you if 'theres any new developments i should know about?' i know it's kind of a rhetorical question, but..I'M TWENTY!! AND STILL IN COLLEGE!! WTF??

MAGDALENA

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 2:11 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by freelancertex:
counselling is hard when person A thinks everything is person B's fault, and person B thinks everything is person A's fault because person B has had enough of person A's bullshit, rightfully so, and person A insists that person A has no problems at all--because everything is the other person's fault. they can't talk things out anymore, at all. i think only one of them would ever consent to trying that, honestly, so it kind of gets stuck.

*sigh* counselling might work, but i'm afraid they'd just revert after a while. their attitudes can turn on a dime. they're not bad people, and they're not always miserable, but they seem miserable more often than not.

Hey Freelancertex... I feel your pain, and forgive me coming into the middle of this thread with little understanding of the background, but it is these very situations that councelling can have the greatest impact in. I have been stuck in a bad place and even during the councelling sessions I have thought I was not being challenged or given tools to get through things, but later stuff clicked into place because the questions a good coucillor asks keep you assessing your situation! I would also say that I have seen this work when someone is convinced they are in no way to blame for a relationships breaking down, when it is almost always both parties who are 'stuck' in a cycle of some sort or another!

{{{hugs}}} I hope it gets resolved in a good way!

CPT Magda Martin, CO of Golf Co. (Europe)
www.myspace.com/lady_magdalena
www.crazypurplewombat.blogspot.com
www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=603506986
http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/

FREELANCERTEX

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 2:23 AM

does it work with uber stubborn people who KNOW they're aaaalways right, write everything off in order to give the impression that they don't give an eff what the other person thinks or how others see them, and who would probably think counselling is the one sure-fire fail in the world? :P

thanks for the input magda, really. i just wish i could talk to them about it and get them to *listen* *hugs back*

MSA

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 3:47 AM

Depends on the person and how motivated they are to make things work..'cause it is work.

Zeek I hate those situations... those parents should be smacked senseless. Not a huge fan of Demi Moore but I have to say she and Bruce willis handled their divorce with absolute class and minimal impact on those kids. They live nearby each other and always have. Every holiday, birthday, special event they ( the adults) suck it up and spend the holiday all together so the kids don't have to chose between one parent or another. They may not have been able to resolve their differences, but they made damn sure their feelings didn't spill onto their kids. That's a good parent

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 4:10 PM

I agree MsA. I just hate seeing parents who get so distracted that they don't even realize what they're doing to their kids.

OK I have a totally off topic potentially insensitive question. NVG is native american right? My question is about facial hair. How come I never see any native american's with facial hair? Is it part of a belief system or just a generally accepted fashion sense or am I just missing something?

MSA

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 4:49 PM

You're missing that most natives just don't have a lot of facial hair.. it just doesn't grow in the same volume. NV can go months without shaving.

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 4:56 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
You're missing that most natives just don't have a lot of facial hair.. it just doesn't grow in the same volume. NV can go months without shaving.

*jealous* shaving is so annoying. Not shaving is annoying too though. It's a catch 22. Either prickly stuff all over or constant shaving.

I don't even remember what made me wonder about this but I was just like wait a minute. I guess that makes sense though.

FREELANCERTEX

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 11:59 PM

lol, what a topic change XD

my issue with my boyfriend's shaving habits is he doesn't like shaving (his face breaks out :\), but i hate his facial hair cuz its like sandpaper. so it's like, what do u do in that situation? ><;;

i have zero ponders of my own right now.

MSA

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 2:08 AM

Zeek sweety... learn to wax:) It'll rip all the hair off quickly and take longer to grow back in....

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 2:35 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
Zeek sweety... learn to wax:) It'll rip all the hair off quickly and take longer to grow back in....

That sounds so painful. No way I'm trying that.

MSA

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 3:17 PM

Oh don't be such a baby... women wax all manner of body parts all the time.. no big deal:)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 3:30 PM

That's why I'm being manly and not waxing anything. It's a dirty job but somebody's gotta do it.

MSA

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 4:20 PM

Well you could go with laser hair removal:)
Or Nair.. but there might be some requirement to wear short shorts:)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

MSA

Thursday, July 16, 2009 6:11 AM

NVG here:

Nair, short shorts, smooth legs...

... been there, done that.

Just got back from Harry Potter. Not bad at all.

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

WAKEUPSOON

Thursday, July 16, 2009 1:23 PM

I saw it yesterday, && I thought it was the best film of the series yet.

~WuS

This is not my signature, I have to write this every time I post.
Smile && Nod, it makes it seem like you know what's going on.

MSA

Thursday, July 16, 2009 2:44 PM

Definitely... except

Select to view spoiler:

I didn't like that Dumbledroe said Horcruxes could be any old thing when the book makes it very clear they are special objects and tied to Hogwarts founders..that was annoying

I did totally love it though and may I say Tom Felton ROCKED!!!!! he gave such an amazing performance.

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

WAKEUPSOON

Thursday, July 16, 2009 2:47 PM

He's a really good actor, and he's kinda hott. Woot .. win/win (Y) That bit annoyed me too, but not too much as I tend to go into adaptation movies completely ignoring whatever media it was originally based on - that way your only disappointed if the film itself is actually horrible.

~WuS

This is not my signature, I have to write this every time I post.
Smile && Nod, it makes it seem like you know what's going on.

RHYIANAN

Thursday, July 16, 2009 4:11 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
Definitely... except
Select to view spoiler:
I didn't like that Dumbledroe said Horcruxes could be any old thing when the book makes it very clear they are special objects and tied to Hogwarts founders..that was annoying

Well, Actually...

Select to view spoiler:

Dumbledore is right. The horcruxes could be any old thing, it's just that Voldemort decided to used the special objects tied to the founders. He could have easily decided to use things that were not as special, but only did so because it tickled him to defile the objects.

Having said that, I'm basing it off of the books because I have given up on the movies...they end up slaughtering the books way too much.

I'm a leaf on the wind

MSA

Friday, July 17, 2009 3:09 PM

Try 6 it actually only added in one event and subtracted some but kept really true to the spirit of the book:)

OK theres a good ponder.... do you prefer to have read the book a movie is based on before you see the movie??

I do, but I like to know the end before I begin

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

BLACK12AKYTCA

Friday, July 17, 2009 7:38 PM

I would rather read the book first, so I can see what the movie messed up on (because I would rather have the book establish itself as the 'right' one in my mind than to have the movie do so...)

you know, I would totally do this-
http://www.brokenplotdevice.com/2008/09/15/coffee-cover-up/
.... and this!
http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.php?s=381
Both are awesome webcomics, and I would higly recommend reading both of them ^.^

RHYIANAN

Friday, July 17, 2009 8:28 PM

It depends on what it is. I usually try to read the book first, but sometimes it just doesn't happen because the book doesn't capture my interest the way the movie does. There's several books that I've tried to read, but can't get into until I see the movie and have some idea about what is coming.

I'm a leaf on the wind

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