My Stripper Story
POSTED BY: piratenews
UPDATED: Sunday, December 14, 2008 14:51
VIEWED: 1382
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A buddy of mine went to a strip club last night and this is our story. The handicap laws have gone ape sh*t as far as I am concerned. But in the end, I have never laughed so hard. It has taken most of the day to recapture this experience. Enjoy!
Last night one of my buddies, Stan and I decided to head on out to a local gentlemen’s club for a little eye candy and a few drinks, now for some reason the local talent here has been on a downward trend for the last year or so, but sl*t watching is sl*t watching so off we go.
Show up at the place, and there is a 10.00 cover because it is Buffet Night (woo hoo free chow and boobies!) we pay the price and in we go. Typical strip club type place dark, lots of dim colored lights, scantily clad women serving drinks and young ladies dressed like those hookers from the HBO special. Music is thumping and the cheesy DJ is introducing Nevada or Austin or Dallas or some equally stupid vixin named after a city.
On our way to our seats we pass the buffet, not being one to waste allot of energy I decide to grab a plate on the way to the table.
MMMMM looky here shrimp and steak, chicken strips and pasta…why do they always have pasta? Oh well I snatch up a pile of shrimp (get it snatch and shrimp) as well as a couple of grayish steaks, some chicken strips and honey mustard sauce for dippin and head off to the table to be entertained.
I get to the table and Stan has already placed a drink order for us, and there are already two fine upstanding young ladies sitting at the table trying to wrangle drinks and table dances out of him.
I have a seat and one of them moves over next to me….is it just me or do all these chicks wear the same perfume powder combo? All tit*y dancers smell alike.
Well I get ready to dig in and then it hits me, this shrimp smells funny, or maybe it was “Roxy” sitting next to me, at any rate I am smelling a bit to much sea food odder and decide to skip to the Steak, it is passable but over cooked. The chicken fingers however are quite good.
Anyway, I am making small talk with Roxy, and she is telling me how she in college and this is just to help her get through school and get her degree. I inquire as to what she will be getting a degree in and she tells me cosmetology…..ahhh ok.
So we are chatting away Stan is getting a table dance from this leggy blond right next to us and I am checking out that action out of the corner of my eye; Here is a tip when you go to a t*tty bar, go with someone who is willing to spend lots of cash then you get like a contact table dance sort of like a contact high. If you don’t have someone like this to go with then try and sit next to the largest group of Asians you can find, trust me…
While checking out the talent walking around the room I notice that the stage has a ramp built on the side of it so I ask Roxy what’s up with the ramp is evil ****-nevil gonna jump his motorcycle over a dozen triple D’s? She laughs partly because I am witty and partly because that’s what they teach them to do in stripper school.
Roxy, then tells me that they had to install is to comply with the American with disabilities act, so that the stage would be wheel chair accessible.
“Wheel chair accessible?!? Are you ****ting me?” Nope she tells me it’s the law. Sure because handicapped people are just beating down the door to become tit*y dancers right? She seemed a bit miffed at my remarks and corrected me, “We are Exotic Dancers and they are Handicapable not handicapped!”
Yeah what ever and my toilet plunger is a fecal waste flow control device, handicapped or handicapeable either way I don’t see them lined up to be “exotic daaannncerrrs.”
Roxy then tells me to stick around because Wanda will be out soon!
Who is Wanda I ask? You’ll see she replies.
Roxy then gets up and leaves and while I am not sure I think my shrimp did smell better but I still didn’t eat it.
We watch a few girls make the rounds Stan gets another table dance an tips a few of th
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As much as it pains me, I feel the need to add on to a PN thread, because it relates to the story.
There was a 'Gentlemen's ' club, where the ladies had an on stage shower. OSHA came in, saw the shower, and insisted that it be brought up to code, to accommodate the handicapped. None of hte dancers were handicapped, and it clearly wasn't meant to be a fully functioning shower, as are used in hotels or motels, but that didn't matter one bit. If they wanted a device which poured water onto the dancer, it had to be up to specs.
Your Gov't at work for you. 
It is not those who use the term "Islamo-Fascism" who are sullying the name of Islam; it is the Islamo-Fascists. - Dennis Prager
" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "
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On the radio last week:
The Mustang Ranch bordello in Nevada was seized by the IRS for non-payment of taxes.
Since prostitution is legal in Nevada, outside of Vegas city limits, the US Govt kept the bordello open, and Uncle Scam pimped out the ladies.
Of course the govt bankrupted the whorehouse, like it bankrupts everything else it touches. Can't even make a profit selling booze and sex.
NSFW: www.worldfamousbrothel.com/wfhistory.php
Apparently it was auctioned on Ebay.
We're from the Govt and we're here to pimp you out
Which is what Big Bro is doing to all of us who pay the unconstitutional IRS slavetax.
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Your friend Stan sounds like he's fun to hang out with. Unlike you, he seems to know how to enjoy himself without whining all the time or being vindictive.
Get well soon, Wanda.
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