Jupiter Ascending

POSTED BY: MAL4PREZ
UPDATED: Tuesday, September 20, 2016 06:09
VIEWED: 11690
PAGE 3 of 5

PREV PAGE 1 2 3 4 5 NEXT PAGE

SHINYGOODGUY

Saturday, June 6, 2015 4:27 PM

Please, no more picking on John Carter (an unfortunate movie title) because, compared to this movie, it runs circles around Jupiter Ascending (with John Carter himself, running backwards).

SGG

Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:
If I want to be visually wowed by a movie, hell, I'll just go see some random IMAX flick.

But that's not what I want to go see when I think of sci-fi drama. I want some semblance of a STORY too. Hell, this makes John Carter seem like one of the first Star Wars movies.

SHINYGOODGUY

Saturday, June 6, 2015 5:01 PM

I agree with you Old Guy. There's very little that this movie had going for it. I thought, prior to seeing this mess, that Mila would be one of those little things that would be positive. So which came first, the chicken or the egg? Is it the actor (Channing Tatum comes to mind) or the script?

Ok, impressions: This movie felt rushed. I'm thinking that it's like my sister jumping ahead several chapters in a book to see what happens and if it's worth reading. This could have easily been 2 or 3 flicks worth. All, of course to get to the chase scenes..........I was ready to like this flick but alas, so boring.

Also, no chemistry between the 2 leads.

Sean Bean, they wasted his considerable talents. He should have been the lead.

Plot, none. Don't get me wrong, I liked the story, just not how the W's laid it out and presented it. the narration didn't help either.

Eddie Redmayne, WTF was he thinking? I blame the directors. The W's had box office gold awaiting them. This could have been Matrix material, instead they produced bad, horrible and, death of all deaths, boring sci-fi. There is nothing worse.

Oh, one more thing. That supposedly comic sequence about bureaucracy - what the hell was that about? Not funny or entertaining. Although I liked that little plot contrivance about harvesting the Earth. Everybody into the gene pool! The W's have this thing about abusing the mass production of humankind, very sci-fi, but if done wrong, it could be very bad sci-fi. I wonder if the W's got together with the guy who wrote the script for Prometheus. What was his name? Writer Damon Lindelof was hired to rewrite Jon Spaihts original script. Hmmmmm, is there any wonder why the movie was a giant fail.

So BOY DID THAT SUCK was not a bad review.

There were some, a very few things, that I liked........but I'm tired. See ya!

SGG

Quote:
Originally posted by OLDGUY:
ok...so the credits roll, the lights come up , and before I can catch myself, out of my mouth, in a loud voice I hear... "BOY DID THAT SUCK!"

sorry.. i just wasn't quick enough.

so:
1) As expected, heavy use of the CGI servers..and some of it was great
2) Total failure to develop characters that could have been so much more
3) Typical of the Wachowski movie making..it was tediously long on fight/chase scenes that sucked up precious time that could have been used on story plot, character dev.
4) i didn't realize it was an LGBT flick..my bad....
5) Mila met my every expectation..which for the record was really really low.
6) pointy ears?...seriously..did they raid Universal Studios for leftovers from Teen Wolf and old Star Trek props?

save your money kiddos.....really...trust me on this...seriously....go watch some Fireballs XL5 marionette reruns or something...LOL

THGRRI

Sunday, June 7, 2015 1:05 AM

I watched the trailer on this thread and thought what a great concept for a movie. I read the reviews here and have decided that unless it comes to Netflix and is free, I won't bother to give it a look.

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Sunday, June 7, 2015 1:12 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SHINYGOODGUY:
Also, no chemistry between the 2 leads.

Other than dating Kutcher, I was not sure if it was possible to make Mila unadorable. This proves it is possible.

Quote:

Although I liked that little plot contrivance about harvesting the Earth. Everybody into the gene pool! The W's have this thing about abusing the mass production of humankind, very sci-fi, but if done wrong, it could be very bad sci-fi. I wonder if the W's got together with the guy who wrote the script for Prometheus.

SGG

How could you not reference The Matrix?

There is much negative here.
Can anybody think of or share positive parts of the film, in case some haven't seen it and want to know if it has anything worthwhile, even if not spectacular?

SHINYGOODGUY

Monday, June 8, 2015 12:36 PM

I guess we agree on something -

"Other than dating Kutcher, I was not sure if it was possible to make Mila unadorable. This proves it is possible."

I'm not a Kutcher fan and I feel she can do much better, and yes, otherwise, she is adorable. The script and direction were wishy-washy, to say the least. Mila is a gifted actress and this was the one poor film choice she has made in her carefully crafted career.

So I give her a pass on this one. Even when the movie she was in was halfway decent, her portrayals were always spot on. So put one in the loss column and prep the divorce papers (Kutcher is bound to screw up again).
Mila, nothing personal, I just think that Ashton is a scumbag. Just saying.

SGG

SHINYGOODGUY

Monday, June 8, 2015 12:46 PM

Yes, I did reference the Matrix:

This could have been Matrix material, instead they produced bad, horrible and, death of all deaths, boring sci-fi. There is nothing worse.

Take a look about 5 spaces up above this one. There was something positive I liked about the movie, but you would have to wait until it comes to Netflix for me to see it again.

SGG

Quote:
Originally posted by JEWELSTAITEFAN:
Quote:
Originally posted by SHINYGOODGUY:
Also, no chemistry between the 2 leads.

Other than dating Kutcher, I was not sure if it was possible to make Mila unadorable. This proves it is possible.
Quote:

Although I liked that little plot contrivance about harvesting the Earth. Everybody into the gene pool! The W's have this thing about abusing the mass production of humankind, very sci-fi, but if done wrong, it could be very bad sci-fi. I wonder if the W's got together with the guy who wrote the script for Prometheus.

SGG

How could you not reference The Matrix?

There is much negative here.
Can anybody think of or share positive parts of the film, in case some haven't seen it and want to know if it has anything worthwhile, even if not spectacular?

ECGORDON

Monday, June 8, 2015 8:17 PM

I would have sworn I posted a link to my review in this thread, but my only comment here was when I said I was going to wait for it to hit the discount theater. They've changed their policy, and now on Tuesdays all tickets are just 50¢. Even that was too much, and I wanted to ask for a refund.

http://templetongate.net/jupiterascending.htm

Speaking of 50¢, he's probably a better actor than Channing.

THGRRI

Monday, June 8, 2015 10:40 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by ecgordon:
I would have sworn I posted a link to my review in this thread, but my only comment here was when I said I was going to wait for it to hit the discount theater. They've changed their policy, and now on Tuesdays all tickets are just 50¢. Even that was too much, and I wanted to ask for a refund.

http://templetongate.net/jupiterascending.htm

Speaking of 50¢, he's probably a better actor than Channing.

Wow, so I take it you're not giving any kudo's to this move at all. Glad I waited for sure.

SHINYGOODGUY

Tuesday, June 9, 2015 3:04 PM

Hey EC, I read your review of Jupiter Descending and I agree with you 100%, well, maybe 99.9%, I think Mila is a good actress in the hands of a strong director, but the rest of it was spot on.

You know how I feel about Cloud Atlas, but this one felt slapped together and a half-hearted attempt. Tatum is a heartthrob and not much else. Bean is one of my fav character actors and deserved better. Redmayne went completely mental (he practiced the "more is more" method of acting, way over the top. He made Jim Carrey look meek in comparison).

The concept/premise was the one positive, along with the visuals, that I got from this mess. We are, Earth and humans, but a speck in the grand scheme of things, a miniscule dot in the vastness of the universe (what I got from the film). There was also something regarding DNA and our makeup. But the W's did very little to expound on that premise. We did get to go on a high speed chase throughout the film, with ear-shattering affect. Alright, enough of this....they missed the boat, period. By the way, you're right about their unevenness with flops and successes (I still think Bound was excellent suspenseful filmmaking).

SGG out!

Quote:
Originally posted by ecgordon:
I would have sworn I posted a link to my review in this thread, but my only comment here was when I said I was going to wait for it to hit the discount theater. They've changed their policy, and now on Tuesdays all tickets are just 50¢. Even that was too much, and I wanted to ask for a refund.

http://templetongate.net/jupiterascending.htm

Speaking of 50¢, he's probably a better actor than Channing.

SECOND

Tuesday, June 9, 2015 8:17 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SHINYGOODGUY:

The concept/premise was the one positive, along with the visuals, that I got from this mess. We are, Earth and humans, but a speck in the grand scheme of things, a miniscule dot in the vastness of the universe

Olives are squeezed in Italy to sell the oil. Humans are squeezed in Jupiter Ascending/Descending to sell the life force. That makes Jupiter Descending more disgusting than the myth of Nazis making soap from human fat. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soap_made_from_human_corpses
Thank god it is only a myth and nobody made the movie.

Why did the Wachowskis think that was good concept for their movie? Just curious because they really need to explain themselves, but at least it is better than the concept for the Human Centipede movies. There are three of those stinkers and don't look those up, please. You really do not want to know.

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/folder/1uwh75oa407q8/Firefly

PREV PAGE 1 2 3 4 5 NEXT PAGE