We're Not In Lake Wobegon Anymore ...
POSTED BY: CapnRahn
UPDATED: Sunday, October 24, 2004 21:58
VIEWED: 1082
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We're Not In Lake Wobegon Anymore
by Garrison Keillor
In These Times
"Republicans: The No.1 reason the rest of the world thinks we're deaf, dumb and
dangerous."
By Garrison Keillor
Something has gone seriously haywire with the Republican Party. Once, it was the party of pragmatic Main Street businessmen in steel-rimmed spectacles who decried profligacy and waste, were devoted to their communities and supported the sort of prosperity that raises all ships. They were good-hearted people who vanquished the gnarlier elements of their party, the paranoid Roosevelt-haters, the flat Earthers and Prohibitionists, the antipapist antiforeigner element. The genial Eisenhower was their man, a genuine American hero of D-Day, who made it OK for reasonable people to vote Republican. He brought the Korean War to a stalemate, produced the Interstate Highway System, declined to rescue the French colonial army in Vietnam, and gave us a period of peace and prosperity, in which (oddly) American arts and letters flourished and higher education burgeoned-and there was a degree of plain decency in the country. Fifties Republicans were giants compared to today's. Richard Nixon was the last Republican leader to feel a Christian obligation toward the poor.
In the years between Nixon and Newt Gingrich, the party migrated southward down the Twisting Trail of Rhetoric and sneered at the idea of public service and became the Scourge of Liberalism, the Great Crusade Against the Sixties, the Death Star of Government, a gang of pirates that diverted and fascinated the media by their sheer chutzpah, such as the misty-eyed flag-waving of Ronald Reagan who, while George McGovern flew bombers in World War II, took a pass and made training films in Long Beach. The Nixon moderate vanished like the passenger pigeon, purged by a legion of angry white men who rose to power on pure punk politics. "Bipartisanship is another term of date rape," says Grover Norquist, the Sid Vicious of the GOP. "I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub."
The boy has Oedipal problems and government is his daddy.
The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons, hacks, fakirs, aggressive dorks, Lamborghini libertarians, people who believe Neil Armstrong's moonwalk was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico, little honkers out to diminish the rest of us, Newt's evil spawn and their Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man suspicious of the free flow of information and of secular institutions, whose philosophy is a jumble of badly sutured body parts trying to walk. Republicans: The No.1 reason the rest of the world thinks we're deaf, dumb and dangerous.
Rich ironies abound! Lies pop up like toadstools in the forest! Wild swine crowd round the public trough! Outrageous gerrymandering! Pocket lining on a massive scale! Paid lobbyists sit in committee rooms and write legislation to alleviate the suffering of billionaires!
Hypocrisies shine like cat turds in the moonlight! O Mark Twain, where art thou at this hour?
Arise and behold the Gilded Age reincarnated gaudier than ever, upholding great wealth as the sure sign of Divine Grace.
Here in 2004, George W. Bush is running for reelection on a platform of tragedy-the single greatest failure of national defense in our history, the attacks of 9/11 in which 19 men with box cutters put this nation into a tailspin, a failure the details of which the White House fought to keep secret even as it ran the country into hock up to the hubcaps, thanks to generous tax cuts for the well-fixed, hoping to lead us into a box canyon of debt that will render government impotent, even as we engage in a war
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*Bump*
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Thank you FireFloozieSuzie for bumping this thread. I read this last week but I didn't have the time then to post. In the interval I'd lost track of where exactly I'd read it.
Mr. Keillor is the only (THE ONLY!) public figure I've read who has been able to see past what amounts to the hype of 9/11, this so-called "post 9/11 era" into which the world has supposedly been plunged. As he says, this is not a new problem which the world faces, but the result of our very own incompitence: "the single greatest failure of national defense in our history." We all know about the many explicit memos and breifs which passed across the desks of this administration without effect, the shameful attempts of this administration to keep their monumental failure secret. We should be able to see where responsibility belongs.
The world must think us hysterical babies not to see that the world has been dealing with direct terrorist threats since the the word first came into use, and we little Americans, as in all things, come rather late to the table. And in classic American fashion we arrogantly proclaim our troubles as unique and world defining. As Keillor puts it with stark simplicity, "[9/11] wasn't the 'end of innocence,' or a turning point in our history, or a cosmic occurrence, it was an event, a lapse of security."
On September 12th, 2001 America had an opportunity to slough off our obsolete and knee-jerk isolationism and finally join the world in its ongoing struggle with international terrorism. We'd suffered a blow terrible enough to rouse us from our slumber of affluence and share in the world's grief and lend our aid, united with our brothers and sisters across the globe. Of course, as we all know, America did nothing of the kind.
Well, the real terrorist threat is still out there, our allies still need our help and any day now we might wake up and join them in our shared struggle, but not with this president.Quote:
...Whenever I think of those New Yorkers hurrying along Park Place or getting off the No.1 Broadway local, hustling toward their office on the 90th floor, the morning paper under their arms, I think of that non-reader George W. Bush and how he hopes to exploit those people with a little economic uptick, maybe the capture of Osama, cruise to victory in November and proceed to get some serious nation-changing done in his second term.
Thanks, CapnRahn, for posting this.
HKCavalier
Hey, hey, hey, don't be mean. We don't have to be mean, because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
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