The Desolation of SUCK.
POSTED BY: AURaptor
UPDATED: Friday, February 14, 2014 11:49
VIEWED: 7658
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Well, I certainly hope people enjoyed it, and am perhaps a teensy bit gratified that they got a decent voice actor for Smaug, although I don't think the original, dated animation or not, can be topped.
Still, I bailed out on The Hobbit and sequels, too many liberties with the Canon and storyline for my liking, alas.
And don't eeeeeven get me started on Arwen, or Eowyn the bimbo, or how Legolas is fekkin *insane* by elf standards and how much the other elves must have hated him for it.
I do pity Glorfindel though, shafted in EVERY interpretation of the work, I keep picturing him as a homeless bum, alas.
That said, why didn't they offer Craig Parker (aka Haldir) some work here, cause most of the girls *I* know were totally ga-ga over HIM, not Legolas!
-Frem
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Hey Frem, that dragon looks kinda like Wolverine.
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Maybe just a little, Smaug is described in Tolkiens work as having some feline characteristics, and I guess the artist just kinda ran with that ball in their interpretation.
The dialogue of that whole scene between Smaug and Bilbo was so well done in that version though, cause it really brings out not only how vain and arrogant dragons are, but also that they are not whatever human in thought and conduct, which is something most folk trying to write one seem to forget - they have totally different and often alien motivations and behaviors.
-F
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Quote:The movie dragon is a different beast than the book dragon. Some Tolkien for reference:
Originally posted by FREMDFIRMA:
The dialogue of that whole scene between Smaug and Bilbo was so well done in that version though, cause it really brings out not only how vain and arrogant dragons are, but also that they are not whatever human in thought and conduct, which is something most folk trying to write one seem to forget - they have totally different and often alien motivations and behaviors.
Quote:The movie Bilbo is far more cautious around the dragon than the book Bilbo.
"I have always understood," said Bilbo in a frightened squeak, "that dragons were softer underneath, especially in the region of the–er–chest; but doubtless one so fortified has thought of that."
The dragon stopped short in his boasting. "Your information is antiquated," he snapped. "I am armoured above and below with iron scales and hard gems. No blade can pierce me."
"I might have guessed it," said Bilbo. "Truly there can nowhere be found the equal of Lord Smaug the Impenetrable. What magnificence to possess a waistcoat of fine diamonds!"
"Yes, it is rare and wonderful, indeed," said Smaug absurdly pleased. He did not know that the hobbit had already caught a glimpse of his peculiar undercovering on his previous visit, and was itching for a closer view for reasons of his own. The dragon rolled over. "Look!" he said. "What do you say to that?"
"Dazzlingly marvellous! Perfect! Flawless! Staggering!" exclaimed Bilbo aloud, but what he thought inside was: "Old fool! Why there is a large patch in the hollow of his left breast as bare as a snail out of its shell!"
After he had seen that Mr. Baggins' one idea was to get away. "Well, I really must not detain Your Magnificence any longer," he said, "or keep you from much needed rest. Ponies take some catching, I believe, after a long start. And so do burglars," he added as a parting shot, as he darted back and fled up the tunnel.
It was an unfortunate remark, for the dragon spouted terrific flames after him, and fast though he sped up the slope, he had not gone nearly far enough to be comfortable before the ghastly head of Smaug was thrust against the opening behind. Luckily the whole head and jaws could not squeeze in, but the nostrils sent forth fire and vapour to pursue him, and he was nearly overcome, and stumbled blindly on in great pain and fear. He had been feeling rather pleased with the cleverness of his conversation with Smaug, but his mistake at the end shook him into better sense.
The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/folder/1uwh75oa407q8/Firefly
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OK, I’ve gone all out geek and typed up the timeline. I used to love all this detail and read it over and over, reveling in the way things fit together and the feeling that this could be a real world of real complexity and if I could dig up the records in Gondor and Rivendell I’d find stories enough to fill every year and every region of Middle Earth.
Anyhow, here’s a small portion of the timeline from Appendix B of LoTR, I’ve only included only the events that directly relate to The Hobbit and LoTR.
year 0: Sauron overthrown by Elendil and Gil-galad, who perish. Isildur takes the One Ring.
1100 The Wise (the Istari and the chief Eldar) discover that an evil power has made a stronghold at Dol Guldur. It is thought to be one of the Nazgul.
1999 Thrain I comes to Erebor and founds a dwarf-kingdom “under the Mountain”
2060 The power of Dol Guldur grows. The wise fear that it may be Sauron taking shape again
2063 Gandalf goes to Dol Guldur. Sauron retreats and hides in the East. The Watchful Peace begins
2460 The Watchful Peace ends. Sauron returns with increased strength to Dol Guldur
2463 The White Council is formed. About this time Deagol the Stoor finds the One Ring, and is murdered by Smeagol
2470 About this time Smeagol-Gollum hides in the Misty Mountains
2770 Smaug the Dragon descends on Erebor. Dale destroyed. Thror escapes with Thrain II and Thorin III.
2841 Thrain II sets out to revisit Erebor, but is pursued by the servants of Sauron
2845 Thrain the Dwarf is imprisoned in Dol Guldur; the last of the Seven Rings is taken from him
2850 Gandalf again enters Dol Guldur, and discovers that its master is indeed Sauron, who is gathering all the Rings and seeking for news of the One Ring, and of Isildur’s heir. He finds Thrain and receives the key of Erebor. Thrain dies in Dol Guldur
2851 The White Council meets. Gandalf urges an attack on Dol Guldur. Saruman overrules him. (It afterwards became clear that Saruman had then begun to desire to possess the One Ring himself, and he hoped that it might reveal itself, seeking its master, if Sauron were let be for a time.) Saruman begins to search near the Gladden Fields.
2890 Bilbo born in the shire
2931 Aragon son of Arathorn II born on March 1
2939 Saruman discovers that Sauron’s servants are searching the Anduin near Gladden Fields, and that Sauron therefore has learned of Isildur’s end. He is alarmed, but says nothing to the Council.
2941 Thorin Oakenshield and Gandalf visit Bilbo in the Shire. Bilbo meets Smeagol-Gollum and finds the Ring. The White Council meets; Saruman agrees to an attack on Dol Guldur, since he now wishes to prevent Sauron from searching the River. Sauron having made his plans abandons Dol Guldur. The Battle of the Five Armies in Dale.
2942 Bilbo returns to the Shire with the Ring. Sauron returns to Mordor.
2944 Gollum leaves the Mountains and begins his search for the “thief” of the Ring
2951 Sauron declares himself openly. Gollum turns toward Mordor
2953 Last meeting of the White Council
2954 Mount Doom bursts into flame again
2955 Gandalf meets Aragorn
2968 Birth of Frodo
2980 Gollum reaches the confines of Mordor and becomes acquainted with Shelob
3000 Saruman dares to use the palantir and is ensnared by Sauron
3001 Bibo’s feast. Gandalf suspects his ring to be the One Ring
3004-3008 Gandalf visits Frodo
3009 Gandalf and Aragorn begin to search for Gollum
3017 Gollum is found by Aragorn and questioned by Gandalf. Gandalf visits Minas Tirith and reads the scrolls of Isuldur
3018, 3019 The “Great Years” – The events of the Lord of the Rings
March 25, 3019 the downfall of Mordor
-mal4prez, thoroughly reveling in her geekdom. :)
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Quote:
Originally posted by second:
The movie Bilbo is far more cautious around the dragon than the book Bilbo.
Yeah, I found it a bit annoying that they had to turn the dragon encounter into a big action fight scene. I miss the days where movies could rely on a good story well told rather than the action pieces, which Peter Jackson has bought into completely. Maybe the next round of remakes will back off the excesses a bit.
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Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:
If Gandalf truly suspected Sauron was back in business, at the time of Dol Guldur, and it wasn't just some random Necromancer, then he absolutely had grown too fond of the Halfling's leaf.
See timeline: Gandalf knew it was Sauron before Bilbo was even born. Admit it - in this you are definitively and with no wiggle room WRONG. ;)
As for your other criticisms: I've dealt with the riding to Gondor issue. That had nothing to do with figuring out Sauron or Saruman, and everything with ID'ing Bilbo's ring. This is clear in both the books and the movies.
The White Council was an ongoing thing. No, there hasn't been a council meeting in the first two Hobbit movies, which I did expect, but I imagine PJ has compressed all the business of Dol Guldur to one story-telling period. Gandalf getting captured is just setting it up for movie 3.
My guess is that the third movie will have Gandalf escape and meet with the White Council where he could tell of his long ago trip to DG where he found Thrain and got the map and key. Telling of that in movie 3 would make more sense to the non-wank audience, since they came into this knowing nothing of Dol Guldur. By movie 3 they have some context. Also, it fits the progression in the tone of things, with movie 1 being lite and childish, movie 3 moving to grown up things like Thorin's dad being tortured to death in a dungeon. Then the Council will decide to attack, etc, which is back in the proper timeline.
So yes, earlier events are out of order, but no more so than any adaptation tends to be. When compressing hundreds of pages to a few hours of movie, like events and settings often need to be grouped to make sense to the audience. PJ fit the business with Dol Guldur into one section of "movie time": Gandalf's absence from the dwarf gang.
It's really the simplest way to solve several story-telling problems. Works for me, and really not worth such kvetching IMHO.
ETA: Another hope I have for movie 3: Gandalf talking to Gollum. There would be timing issues, since Gandalf's talk with Gollum doesn't happen until the year Frodo leaves the Shire, but it'd be such an excellent chance for cameos by Gollum and Aragorn. Nice chance to tie in visuals of Mordor coming to power, troops gathering, etc, since Aragorn captured Gollum in the marshes near the Black Gate, and this after tracking him near Minas Morgul. I'd love to see those places again.
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Quote:There could be other reasons for Jackson to rewrite Tolkien's dragon/Bilbo conversation, besides Jackson going completely Hollywood. Psychological reasons.
Originally posted by MAL4PREZ:Quote:
Originally posted by second:
The movie Bilbo is far more cautious around the dragon than the book Bilbo.
Yeah, I found it a bit annoying that they had to turn the dragon encounter into a big action fight scene. I miss the days where movies could rely on a good story well told rather than the action pieces, which Peter Jackson has bought into completely. Maybe the next round of remakes will back off the excesses a bit.
In atom bomb building history "Tickling the Dragon's Tail" was an experiment that killed twice. Jackson could know this since the accidents have been dramatized in several fictional and non-fiction accounts. What Bilbo did with the dragon in the book written before atom bombs is damn foolishness to modern sensibilities such as Peter Jackson's, so (pure speculation) Jackson rewrote the story for that reason -- he didn't want his Bilbo to be an overconfident idiot around a dragon. Times change, you know. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_Slotin
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Quote:
See timeline: Gandalf knew it was Sauron before Bilbo was even born. Admit it - in this you are definitively and with no wiggle room WRONG. ;)
Well, I WAS wrong. I now stand CORRECTED.
Thanks to you. Nicely done. Quote:
As for your other criticisms: I've dealt with the riding to Gondor issue. That had nothing to do with figuring out Sauron or Saruman, and everything with ID'ing Bilbo's ring. This is clear in both the books and the movies.
Yep. I had that confused, and already realized that. I use to be more familiar w/ this stuff, but time has fogged some of the details. And in fact, some of it I never knew in the first place either. I guess my geekdom in such matters could stand an update.
Quote:
It's really the simplest way to solve several story-telling problems. Works for me, and really not worth such kvetching IMHO.
And thanks to your due diligence, I too agree. I still have problems w/ some things PJ has done,( like Elves coming to the aid of Aragorn and Theoden, at Helms Deep ) but over all, he's done a decent job.
And I agree w/ the capturing of Gollum, and the questioning stuff too. As much as I think PJ would love to put that in, I suspect it won't make the final cut. Maybe something for the DVD set?
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Quote:Well, all the running, big effects, flames, swooping camera action shots - those are what I mean by going Hollywood. Same with the barrel ride. I think there's some amount of time that can't pass without an action/fight scene, and of course no movie must end without the biggest action. That's the formula PJ has sold his soul to, and taken the film rights to LoTR along with him.
Originally posted by second:
There could be other reasons for Jackson to rewrite Tolkien's dragon/Bilbo conversation, besides Jackson going completely Hollywood. Psychological reasons.
Quote:OK, interesting. IDK though, I still think it's more about wanting to make the dragon bigger and scarier and more dangerous. And ACTIVE. Having Smaug blow a bit of fire out one nostril up a hallway to singe Bilbo's neck hairs wasn't enough of a Hollywood finale. PJ had to get everyone into the action, and with Smaug being bad-ass it had to be carefully done to be believable that they survived.
In atom bomb building history "Tickling the Dragon's Tail" was an experiment that killed twice. Jackson could know this since the accidents have been dramatized in several fictional and non-fiction accounts. What Bilbo did with the dragon in the book written before atom bombs is damn foolishness to modern sensibilities such as Peter Jackson's, so (pure speculation) Jackson rewrote the story for that reason -- he didn't want his Bilbo to be an overconfident idiot around a dragon. Times change, you know. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_Slotin
Reminds me of Frodo wearing the ring in LoTR. In the book, he made use of thing more often early on. It was only when he got close to Mordor that it started drawing The Eye. The movies blew it by making any wearing of the ring immediately - BAM! - draw The Eye.
My take on that was that PJ wanted to bring The Eye into things asap. Made me sad, because it meant he wouldn't wear it often so we wouldn't get to explore that world much. Especially sad in the movie, where the visuals were so cool!
Oh - also a good part of the Spider scene in the Hobbit, how it all looked/sounded when Bilbo put the ring on. I wish he'd made fun of them more like he did in the book. "Attercrop" and "Old fat spider" and stuff.
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