Shepard's Background

POSTED BY: iRiver
UPDATED: Friday, October 1, 2004 18:33
VIEWED: 6795
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ZOID

Friday, October 1, 2004 6:09 PM

Delia:

When are y'all librarians gonna get with the Information Age? The name of the class should be "The Careful Destruction of Microfilm!" (with exclamation point, for added urgency). Microfiche and filmreaders were passe tech when I last used them in 1978. It's about time the library arts moved into the latter half of the 20th Century -- unless fiche readers can now do word searches? -- and you can do your part to help!

Simply go into the film room and open the bins/drawers. This procedure is best done in a darkened room; not because light is harmful to the process, it just makes it harder to identify you as the culprit. Because of possible exposure to noxious fumes, I also recommend a mask that covers the nose and mouth (preferably a Bill Clinton). And of course surgical gloves are de rigeur (ideally blue in color, in order to keep this thread about Firefly).

Once the room is dark and the drawers are open, simply open a large bottle of fingernail polish remover and set it atop each cabinet. Remember the bottles must be open, otherwise you'll accomplish nothing except looking silly. Finally, make sure all the windows and vents are closed, et voila!, you are done and may beat a stealthy (but victorious!) retreat.

The explanation is simple: 'Acetate hates acetone', and the feeling is mutual. If a standard period of time passes between typical uses of microfilm (say a month or two), there should be nothing identifiable (to include fingerprints) in the sticky mass of goo the fiche library has become.

Now, your library will be able to move on to (impressive echo-chambered voice-over) The Computer Age (/voice-over), where the archival and retrieval of data is quick, secure and reliable. Just remember to clean those hard drives occasionally (i.e., by putting them in a dishwasher). Happy computing!

Cheekily,

zoid

P.S.
Kids, y'all know your Grandpa 'zoid would never want you to do anything destructive. I was joking, in an attempt to brighten Delia's days of microfilm study. Actual destruction: Bad. Dreaming about destruction: Wholesome, satisfying fun.
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"Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me." The Ballad of Serenity

Only 202 days, 11 hours, 9 minutes, and 1 seconds left until The BDM!

DELIA

Friday, October 1, 2004 6:33 PM

Zoid,

See, this is why we don't put nail polish remover vigilates in charge of the storage facilities.

Librarians are well aware of the fact that acetate hates acetate and that patrons hate all microforms (I hate having to use them myself). BUT we are also aware that we have no idea how or when digital images will start to degrade/become obsolete. So we keep making and preserving mircofilms because we know they'll last (in the case of -- beware, technical librarin jargon coming -- Properly created, processed, and stored fine-grained 35mm silver gelatin microfilm on a polyester base, it'll last hundreds of years). We can then use these microfilms to create all those digital formats users are so crazy about, and when the hackers wipe out the collection, or the CD becomes obsolete, or a Windows Upgrade sends us all back into the dark ages, we can pull out the mircofilms and do it again.

Never assume that that which is on microfilm is also available either in digital or paper format ("We've microfilmed these old newspapers, so there's no need to keep 'em, right?")

I know you were kidding around (at least I hope you were kidding around!) but I'll give you the insight into the mind of the preservation librarian, anyway. Also, I occasionally enjoy being pedantic.

Besides, the class on microfilm is over. Next week, "deacidification and preservation photocopying." Can't wait. (I actually really enjoy the class, mostly because we have an awesome professor.)

Delia

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Angel: People who don't care about anything will never understand the people who do.
Hamilton: Yeah, but we won't care.

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