Common regrets of the dying

POSTED BY: Magonsdaughter
UPDATED: Tuesday, January 6, 2026 05:41
VIEWED: 3637
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NIKI2

Monday, July 23, 2012 8:29 PM

Quote:
Pain changes my world. When my pain grows, my world shrinks: to the next step I have to take, the next task I have to do, the next item I have to lift. Normally small, simple things become large obstacles.

Pain changes who I am. The one time my pain dramatically lifted I realized how happy and hopeful I quickly became. By contrast I realized how unhappy and hopeless pain had made me over time. Life was a grueling grudge match that I was hoping to last through.

Pain changes my perspective. Like any stress it makes me short-sighted and hyper-focused on a few specific salient things, like a person under siege.

Boy, Kiki, did you nail it. I've been learning all that myself recently, faced with pain which will accompany me for the rest of my life!

6IXSTRINGJACK

Wednesday, July 25, 2012 1:33 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Niki2:
Still would like to hear from others what their regrets are--or think they would be at the end of their lives. The ones listed may be the "most common", but I'll bet there are a lot more UNcommon ones...

Hey Niki,

I can only speak about this if we were talking my impending death being in the next month or year.... I'd say roughly every 5 or so years of my life have been dramatically different in almost every aspect (ie: how I perceive the world, how I relate to the world, etc...), so this, hopefully, won't be a regret of mine before I die.

Really my number one regret would be the relatively small number of people who attended my funeral contrasted to the overflowing church that my younger brother would have... the late-comers standing outside waiting to speak good things about him to my family and to say their final words to him.

I remember beating the shit out of two bullies who threatened him in my presence in our youth. But that could never make up for how I treated him being the angry oldest child who was the only one old enough to understand enough of my parent's split at the time that I felt it was my fault. I'd do anything for him today, and hopefully I live a lot longer so I can make up for the wrongs I did against him when I was a dumb kid.

I've built my "castle" now. I don't "want" for anything, even on a part time minimum wage job. If my brother were in my situation, he'd view this as such a freedom that he'd be an unstoppable force to get anything he desired. Me, on the other hand.... what do I do with this gift? I use it as a daily get-out-of-jail free card when I'm smoking and drinking my life away alone and on the few occasions I really ever look in the mirror anymore all I notice is a new wrinkle or a few more grey hairs above my ears.

My entire life, save the 5 or so years I let go and partied hard without any concern for any consequences in my youth, has been nothing more than "use your talents HARD now so you can just sit back and never have to use your talents or put any effort into anything again.

I live the least stressful and least demanding life of anybody my age I know, and even my friends who still live at their parents house have to deal with the stress of knowing that they really shouldn't be living there anymore.

Wow... that was kind of theraputic....

I have to revise my regrets now....

1) I have lived a life that guarantees that I'd be lucky if I had 15% of the turnout my brother will get at his own funeral.

2) Instead of realizing the great position I was in and making an effort every day to improve upon something that nobody my age has..... I realized the great position I was in and all I saw was "how much can I

off and not exert any energy for anything and still get by"?

At least I made what I think will be a good friend at work in the last few weeks. He had what he called a "breakdown" tonight. He dropped out of college back in the day and he was going to be a doctor. He stresses about this part-time job sometimes and I tell him to chill the F out because the harder he works, the more money he's making for somebody else and he'll NEVER get a leg up for his work here. He's one of the 3-5 people on staff now that are basically guaranteed 32-40 hours a week because of our output already. No need to put "managerial" diciplins on himself when it might take 5-10 years for one of those positions to open up at this BS job.

Like me, he is way better than the job he is working. Unlike me, even though he's 4 years older, he REALLY wants something better than this. We've been talking about school, and I hope that the both of us make good on our talk. He's talking about picking up with legit credits and moving forward, and I'm talking about getting certified in welding, electric, and small engine repair, as well as taking the H&R Block course to be a yearly tax preparer.

I get where he's coming from. His wife isn't making a fortune, but she's a dealer at a casino

RIONAEIRE

Thursday, July 26, 2012 7:07 PM

Hi Jack, those are some good ideas for career goals.

I have Kathy Bates on speed dial, mwa ha ha ha (in exaggeratedly evil voice)

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya.

6IXSTRINGJACK

Saturday, July 28, 2012 1:30 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by RionaEire:
Hi Jack, those are some good ideas for career goals.

I have Kathy Bates on speed dial, mwa ha ha ha (in exaggeratedly evil voice)

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya.

Thanks Riona :)

I don't think there's anything wrong with being of service to your local community and making a decent living off of it.

Who knows???? With all the overhead paid for, I might actually be able to shop at a grocery store not named Aldi if I got into business for myself?

"A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." ~Shepherd Book

JAYNEZTOWN

Tuesday, January 6, 2026 5:41 AM

health concerns about Trump or Joe Biden?

Trump’s age is not an excuse for his utter indecency
https://inews.co.uk/opinion/trumps-age-no-excuse-for-his-utter-indecen
cy-4085164

Who is Bill Stevenson? Ex-husband of Jill Biden whose second wife died after 'domestic dispute' at Delaware home
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15423291/bill-stevenson-jill-
biden-ex-husband.html

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