The 25 Least Influential People Alive
POSTED BY: CrevanReaver
UPDATED: Tuesday, December 30, 2025 12:32
VIEWED: 2161
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Written by a guy named Drew Magary, it's from the left-leaning "men's magazine" GQ:
1. Tim Pawlenty
Every election season produces a number of hilariously pointless candidates who have no chance of winning. Some of them have value as novelty items. Look! It's Alan Keyes, the token black Republican! And over there! It's David Duke! He's a racist! These are the fun, fringy candidates. The Sharpton Sector, if you will. Then there are folks like Pawlenty, who fail to register even as novelties. T-Paw (as he calls himself) spent much of 2011 as a six-foot-tall paperweight, an aggressively forgettable fellow perfectly suited to the role of debate filler. The $1 million he spent to lose the Iowa straw poll might as well have been burned in front of a group of orphans.
2. Princess Beatrice
Wasn't the royal wedding splendid? Was Kate Middleton not utterly radiant in her Sarah Burton gown? In a world of conflict, this joyous occasion proved to be an inspiring and hopeful beacon of... HOLY SHIT, WHO INVITED THE RACCOON WITH THE VAGINA HAT? Take note, Americans: The British have just as many embarrassing hillbilly cousins as we do.
3. Ed Schultz
There are so many repugnant political pundits on TV now, we tend to forget that the likes of Sean Hannity actually represent the best of the lot. Hannity is a piece of shit, but at least he can get your average 85-year-old, gay-hating, gold-hoarding grandma to tune in. Then there are pundits like Schultz. Do you watch The Ed Show on MSNBC? Of course you don't. No one does. The only reason people watch The Ed Show is they're working out in a hotel gym and they can't find a staff member to change the channel to ESPN. Did you know MSNBC suspended Schultz this year? It did! He called Laura Ingraham a "right-wing slut," and he still couldn't get noticed.
4. Tia and Tamera Mowry
The Kardashian sisters rule over the world of vanity reality shows—that brutal subculture of cable-TV programming in which camera crews follow around shitty, uninteresting celebrities while they engage in staged arguments and do boring crap. But the Kardashians, at least, have an inexplicably massive following. So we'll choose the Mowry sisters as representatives of this genre, because their show airs on a worthless channel (The Style Network) and because you almost certainly have no idea who they are, which is as it should be. (Note: There are two of them, but we'll count them as a single unit for this list.)
5. Bono, the Edge, and Julie Taymor
Here's an amazing idea. Let's spend $65 million on a musical about Spider-Man, because kids who like Spider-Man and old Jewish tourists who like to go to Broadway shows are totally the same demographic. Now, we're going to need a batch of forgettable U2 B sides and a harness system designed by Lyle Lanley from The Simpsons' monorail episode. And let's make sure there's a shoe-shopping number! Who's with me? It can't possibly fail!
6. Hank Williams Jr.
The hilarious thing about Hank's getting "fired" from ESPN for comparing President Obama to Hitler is... Exactly what the fuck did he get "fired" from? His "job" consisted of wearing sunglasses indoors and spending a few days each year recutting that god-awful Monday Night Football song he wrote twenty-seven years ago (a song that wasn't even originally written for that program). Welfare recipients have fifty times the annual workload of this man.
7. Amy Chua
You know her as the Tiger Mother, of course. Chua, who wrote an entire book about being the world's strictest mother and did nothing to counter the shallow stereotype that Chinese parents are as emotionally accessible as a pair of boulders, existed this year specifically so that parents could read her book and say, "Fuck that lady. And fuck China." Listen, Amy Chua. Just because you spent hours every night pushing the violin on your daughter doesn't make me the asshole. If anything, I'm gonna be an even lazier parent thanks to you.
8. Steve Williams
Tiger Woods's ex-caddie, a man who makes a living by carrying another man's g
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Hello,
Surely I belong on this list somewhere.
--Anthony
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"In every war, the state enacts a tax of freedom upon the citizenry. The unspoken promise is that the tax shall be revoked at war's end. Endless war holds no such promise. Hence, Eternal War is Eternal Slavery." --Admiral Robert J. Henner
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Beat me to it, Anthony.
And I would have thought that Carrot Top would be on the list, but the dude is headlining in Vegas. I don't care who you are, if you're headlining in Vegas, you're somebody.
Well somebody more influential than I am.
" I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend. "
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Quote:I think maybe he meant, "Least Influential Celebrities" rather than "people."
Originally posted by AnthonyT:
Surely I belong on this list somewhere.
I was thinking of a similar list for RWED. 10 least influential posters on RWED.
I think Rap and I might be tied for #1. ;)
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Never be deceived that the rich will allow you to vote away their wealth. -- Lucy Parsons (1853-1942, labor activist and anarcho-communist)
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He also left the entire editorial staff of GQ off his list. Pity. I can't imagine a less influential group of people.
Oh wait. I can too: the entire staff of People magazine.
"Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservatives." - John Stuart Mill
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You won’t believe what Trump’s new White House plaques say about Biden, Obama and Clinton
https://www.nj.com/politics/2025/12/you-wont-believe-what-trumps-new-w
hite-house-plaques-say-about-biden-obama-and-clinton.html
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Hah...
Yeah. I saw those a while ago now.
I didn't bother posting about it because I figured that it wouldn't be long before Ted and Second were posting negative articles about it.
That never happened though. The media is curiously pretty silent on those plaques.
hmmmmmm...
Maybe there's a little more truth in them than they'd care to admit and it's better off they just don't talk about those plaques until the next administration comes in and they're silently and unceremoniously removed.
Right?
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Be Nice. Don't be a dick. 
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