I, Jewish Psychopath
POSTED BY: piratenews
UPDATED: Tuesday, August 4, 2026 09:34
VIEWED: 10074
PAGE 3 of 5
I had the grandiosity, no empathy, and no conscience thing until I was about 13. Now I mostly regret every single thing I do or say, and think I'm just about worthless. Of course, as you can see, I still have a higher tendency towards self-pity than empathy, despite knowing full well that my life is not nearly so bad as some.
I'm sure I've retained some tendencies. I am a little manipulative still, though I've learned how to let things go if I don't get my way. Or perhaps rather I've learned patience, that everything will come in time. Mostly I use it to convince people to give me candy, or to keep my internet from being shut off, or to avoid getting into damaging or emotional or personal fights with people on message boards.
In any case, I did at least always have rules. The first was loyalty to my protectorate, the second was retribution to anyone who hurt my protectorate, the third was that attacking anyone weaker than myself was cowardly, the fourth was secrecy, the sixth was to keep authority figures out of everyone's business (through secrecy), and the sixth was to otherwise attempt to conduct myself in a heroic manner, consistent with the literature I read.
EDIT: Also, I can't lie very well, and will keep a promise unless the benefactor of that promise asked to break it, and sometimes not even then. I have sometimes been tricked into giving a promise by people who dislike me to leave a place and not return.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
That's always one of the things which I've been unable to pin down or explain, about Dark Sparks, Byte - they all seem to have (generally) the same set of "rules", but where the hell do they come from ?
Wide ranges of experiences, cultures, and yet it comes always down to that set of "rules" in almost every case, and no way no how could they have obtained it from the same source.
And yet it's there - almost like there's a spiritual aspect to it from an external source, although in lieu of evidence I refuse to believe that.
*passes over handful of candy*
-Frem
I do not serve the Blind God.
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Byte a chara, You're not a sociopath. My friend H had Oppositional Defiant Disorder when she was a little girl. Yeah that diagnosis is bandied about way too much now adays but she really did have it when she was little. This scared the youknowwhat out of her parents (she's adopted) because her biomom had antisocial personality disorder (sociopathy) and they were terrified that H would inherit it and grow up to be that too, a fate that no family wants to endure. H was adopted when she was two weeks old and had no contact with bio parents so it was clearly inherrant and not from seeing bio mom's behavior. So the parents were scared, but H grew out of it. If a child continues down that road they end up being diagnosed with conduct disorder around 13 and if it hasn't cleared by adulthood they get the APD diagnosis and heaven help the world. But like I said H grew out of it in middle school, never had conduct disorder, has no personality disorders, yay! Now, she didn't escape genetically unscathed though because she does have some mental health differences, but anything is better than Antisocial personality disorder. She's close with her family, lives with her longtime boyfriend, is ambitious and in school, cares about people, has lots of friends, is stable etc. So the good news is that kids can grow out of it when they're young.
With the ones who have full antisocial personality disorder though its pretty difficult, sometimes you can make headway by appealing to their selfish nature (if you break the law you'll end up in jail, and now, that wouldn't be what _you want, that would give _you the shaft, so in order to look out for _you you've got to obey those laws.)
Frem knows more about that part than I do though, personality disorders aren't my forte, especially that one."A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Feral children, either raised that way by free-range parenting, or the result of neglect, or the result of a lack of trust towards parents. In the cases where there's no parental input, to try to fit into society, the kids have to backwards engineer their own entire ethics system, often from books, movies, or video games.
But because those are all idealistic and unrealistic depictions of reality, that ends up making them act more like the Fair Folk than humans.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
"Wide ranges of experiences, cultures, and yet it comes always down to that set of "rules" in almost every case, and no way no how could they have obtained it from the same source."
I think it comes from learning by negative example - approximately 10% of abused/ neglected children do that. They grow up learning - I **WILL NOT** be THAT.
Remember when teachers, public employees, Planned Parenthood, NPR and PBS crashed the stock market, wiped out half of our 401Ks, took trillions in taxpayer funded bailouts, spilled oil in the Gulf of Mexico, gave themselves billions in bonuses, and paid no taxes?
Yeah, me neither....
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Riona, I do appreciate your vote of confidence, but I was a horror when I was little. While my behaviour towards teachers was more passive aggressive so they never really noticed enough to call me Oppositional Defiant, my parents could not ever reign in my behaviour, and I had a reputation for viciousness.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Byte
Don't sweat it. When I was young I had an undiagnosed neurological problem. My behavior was less than stellar. But I had a sibling I was extremely close to b/c that was all I could do. However, I think that was an indicator that I wasn't 'born' to APD no matter how it may have looked.
You had a code. There were those who were inside your code and those who were outside, but you had a code. FWIW that gives me the sense you weren't 'born' to APD either.
My feeling is that children are born to conform, whatever the society they are born into. If they don't, it's b/c they can't. And if they have loving, concerned parents b/c their parents don't know how to help.
Some things are beyond blame or guilt - they just are. Just like you ...
Remember when teachers, public employees, Planned Parenthood, NPR and PBS crashed the stock market, wiped out half of our 401Ks, took trillions in taxpayer funded bailouts, spilled oil in the Gulf of Mexico, gave themselves billions in bonuses, and paid no taxes?
Yeah, me neither....
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
I don't lie when I tell you that I was cruel and sadistic, and that just because I had a code doesn't mean that it always worked. I used to fly into violent rages. Even my own pets used to avoid me. So believe me when I say I'm not joking.
Now that I'm older, I know that there's nothing that isn't my fault.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
A Byte a chara,
I mentioned H because I wonder if you had that when you were young and grew out of it, kids can grow out of things sometimes. I wouldn't be your friend if you had antisocial personality disorder. We wouldn't get along, even if you played nice to get my attention I think I'd see through it. And you are a good friend of mine, so make of that what you like.
"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
"I used to fly into violent rages."
So did I. But when I look back the several decades I see it was due to a stressed and frazzled brain that would break down from time to time. Also, if you were psychopathic, you couldn't even understand a social code, let alone have one, however imperfectly followed. And the fact that you now feel regret and/ or guilt pretty much clinches it. IMHO.
Remember when teachers, public employees, Planned Parenthood, NPR and PBS crashed the stock market, wiped out half of our 401Ks, took trillions in taxpayer funded bailouts, spilled oil in the Gulf of Mexico, gave themselves billions in bonuses, and paid no taxes?
Yeah, me neither....
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME