Stop the world, I wanna get off!

POSTED BY: Anonymouse
UPDATED: Wednesday, May 11, 2011 13:55
VIEWED: 8034
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ANONYMOUSE

Monday, May 9, 2011 2:57 PM

This fairground rollercoaster ride we call "Life in the UK, 2011" has now gotten too wild and crazy. I want off.

To explain: today I went for induction at Red Rose Training, with the intention of doing forklift truck training so I'd have more chance of getting a warehouse job - the number of job vacancies I have to pass up because I don't have an FLT licence is considerable, and increasing, and I'm sick of the damn dole. I want to *work* for my living!

To secure funding, you have to do numeracy and literacy tests. Not a problem, I thought.
And indeed it wasn't. The problem is - I *cannot* believe I'm typing this - I did *too* well. There is, apparently, no "scope for training", given my results. In other words, I'm too bloody smart. I'm being penalised for doing my best. Only in the UK could this happen. Try as I might I can't make sense of it.

I have two alternatives at the moment:

1) Pay for the damn training myself. At £440 plus VAT you can imagine my enthusiasm for that one.

2) Go against the convictions of a lifetime and take the assessment again...but deliberately get some answers wrong along the way.

I can't do it. I can't. The very thought makes me want to be sick, honestly. 'To thine own self be true' is a truism I do my best to live by. I will *not* surrender or compromise a fundamental part of myself just to get a damn job. To be honest, I feel rather like Mal did at Serenity Valley - the notion that you can be too smart fills me with despair.

So here I am, typing this and wondering what the hell I'm going to do now. I was amused for all of three seconds or so on seeing some twonk plug his phone into a PC at the library via a USB cable, presumably to charge it up. All very well, except the computer in question isn't actually working at the moment.

Maybe *he* should take the damn assessment - doubtless he'd do better, as it were.

WINDIE

Monday, May 9, 2011 3:43 PM

I know how you feel, the UK is definately getting weirder by the day.

There's nothing like showing willing, only to be smacked down because you want to better yourself.

SAFEAT2ND

Monday, May 9, 2011 3:48 PM

Too smart?? They shouldn't even be allowed to say that.
Did you pass the test? Yes, that's all they should need.
Nobody EVER said big business was smart. Maybe they should take the test. I suspect there would be a lot more job openings then.

Check out my blog for info and updates on my novels
http://drlong67.wordpress.com

HARDWARE

Monday, May 9, 2011 3:57 PM

The way things have gone you'd have been better off if you'd given the country over to the Germans during WW2.

The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.

...and he that has no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one. Luke 22:36

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER

Monday, May 9, 2011 5:16 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Anonymouse:
This fairground rollercoaster ride we call "Life in the UK, 2011" has now gotten too wild and crazy. I want off.

To explain: today I went for induction at Red Rose Training, with the intention of doing forklift truck training so I'd have more chance of getting a warehouse job - the number of job vacancies I have to pass up because I don't have an FLT licence is considerable, and increasing, and I'm sick of the damn dole. I want to *work* for my living!

To secure funding, you have to do numeracy and literacy tests. Not a problem, I thought.
And indeed it wasn't. The problem is - I *cannot* believe I'm typing this - I did *too* well. There is, apparently, no "scope for training", given my results. In other words, I'm too bloody smart. I'm being penalised for doing my best. Only in the UK could this happen. Try as I might I can't make sense of it.

I have two alternatives at the moment:

1) Pay for the damn training myself. At £440 plus VAT you can imagine my enthusiasm for that one.

2) Go against the convictions of a lifetime and take the assessment again...but deliberately get some answers wrong along the way.

I can't do it. I can't. The very thought makes me want to be sick, honestly. 'To thine own self be true' is a truism I do my best to live by. I will *not* surrender or compromise a fundamental part of myself just to get a damn job. To be honest, I feel rather like Mal did at Serenity Valley - the notion that you can be too smart fills me with despair.

So here I am, typing this and wondering what the hell I'm going to do now. I was amused for all of three seconds or so on seeing some twonk plug his phone into a PC at the library via a USB cable, presumably to charge it up. All very well, except the computer in question isn't actually working at the moment.

Maybe *he* should take the damn assessment - doubtless he'd do better, as it were.

I know how you feel all too well, Anonymouse, in that I was told several years ago that my parents made too much money for me to get financial assistance to attend university, even though they were finanically barely above water, so to speak. Apparently the government of Ontario thinks morgages and utilities aren't something to factor in when considering one's worthiness in funding an education.

Really though...I can sadly imagine the UK government's justification for said decision: you have too many brains for mere grunt work and you'd be unhappy in a job that could have been given to someone with a better suited mental capacity. However, Deity of Choice help you if the government will then help with funding any training for a job field that suits your intellect better

"The revenge of the beaten comes in refusing to fall." -- Mal, in "The Losing Side - Chapter 45" by jetflair

BYTEMITE

Monday, May 9, 2011 5:18 PM

Uhhh, let's not go that far. Saxons might've been of Germanic descent, and the Celts have some arguable origins, The house of Windsor may even have been originally German, but I'm sure the Nazis would come up with something to justify stomping down on a number of inhabitants on the islands. They needed slave labour for the war machine.

Thread topic: Oh look, they're already decanting the caste system and implementing the Hatcheries and Conditioning Centers.

HARDWARE

Monday, May 9, 2011 8:03 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Bytemite:
Uhhh, let's not go that far. Saxons might've been of Germanic descent, and the Celts have some arguable origins, The house of Windsor may even have been originally German, but I'm sure the Nazis would come up with something to justify stomping down on a number of inhabitants on the islands. They needed slave labour for the war machine.

Thread topic: Oh look, they're already decanting the caste system and implementing the Hatcheries and Conditioning Centers.

Yeah, but just with the underclasses.

Seriously Anonymouse, you have 3 choices. Game the system, play it straight or get out. If you really want to run a fork truck, just take the test again and dumb it down. But if you scored as high as you did I doubt you'll be happy doing a job where you have to put your brain in neutral. Will the government spring to train you for a job that uses your brain? Something like auto repair, computer maintenance, or HVAC?

The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.

...and he that has no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one. Luke 22:36

THESOMNAMBULIST

Monday, May 9, 2011 11:29 PM

Hey Anonymouse.
Very sorry to hear that. Sounds like the good old fashioned British bureaucracy I remember. I think it's indicative of the stupid protecting their own inadequacies - (perhaps that's smart though... ? ) Anyway I am very sorry to hear that. It's frustrating when you genuinely want to work!
I'm in a similar thing myself at the moment. I've moved to Australia to be with my girlfriend and I have acquired a 12 month visa. However the condition of the visa is that I'm not allowed to work here!? Meantime the rhetoric of the country - as I percieved it through chatting to Australians and picking up the general vibe of the place - is that they are frustrated by the demands put upon them by the ever ingreasing immigration numbers! So wouldn't it be beneficial to allow visitors to work and contribute to the sytem while they are here?
Apparently not.

May I suggest you go back to the people who told you you are too smart and demand their jobs from them; citing a higher level of clarity that they are unable to percieve.

Tough break though. What are you going to do next?

Cartoons - http://cirqusartsandmusic.blogspot.com

RIONAEIRE

Tuesday, May 10, 2011 12:09 AM

Hey Mouse,

I'm sure this is super frustrating for you, its a pile of crap and totally stupid. I know you don't want to take the test again and intentionally get answers wrong, if it were me and I really wanted that job I'd do it, but some people have convictions about that sort of thing and it sounds like you do. Have you told them that you don't understand why they have such a peculiar rule? I know if it were me I'd have a hard time keeping it together in front of them and not telling them what idiotic policies they have, but maybe you are more level headed than I and you could plead your case to them, why you should be allowed to do it. I suspect that there are circumstances specific to your situation which factor into where you're coming from which I won't demand to know. I just know that this situation sucks brick and that they are mean folk with stupid rules.

So I guess you could:
A) Take the test against your personal convictions to get what you seek.
b) try telling them, calmly and rationally, what you think of their crapola rules (but don't say it like that)
c) pick another job that you could persue and would like to persue.
d) Move to another part of Europe, does England have the same rules as the EU, where you can move where ever you want within the continent? Maybe you'd fair better in Eire (Ireland)? Do other parts of the UK have the same rules about smarts, like another county, Scotland, Wales, another city in England, etc.?) I know moving may not be an option for many reasons, so this is just me brainstorming and giving you ideas, I don't know which ideas are valid for your situation and which aren't.

Maybe I can come up with something else given more time?

Hardware: Your statement scares me, pure and simple. I can't imagine a society much worse and frightening than a Nazi-run society.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

DREAMTROVE

Tuesday, May 10, 2011 12:41 AM

First, my apologies to fellow browncoats on FFF for posting this in Talk Story, but I can't move the thread (does anyone know how to this? Haken?)

Mouse, I don't know you, so nothing personal, seriously, I mean it. Also, nice username. I like it.

This thread belongs in RWED. That's for discussion of real world events such as economics and politics. This is talk story.

Now for my snarky sarcastic rant,

I'm sorry. Sick of the dole? Don't want to pay for the training? Memo for America here: education is expensive, and we have no dole.

I've been to your fair country many times, and I think you guys have it pretty easy. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to rework my business so that I don't end up owing in excess of 100% tax in a sub-poverty level income, but I'm doing it because there's always some guy in India who wants my job, whatever it is, and generally, he deserves it, and I support his right to it.

If this is the great recession of great Britain, I'm not impressed. I don't want to be harsh, but from here it looks like your current position is still over-pampered. If you compare your lot to ours in the US, and then compare to 9/10ths of the world, you'll see what I mean.

Here are some other things to think about:
Do you have a public health?
Public transportation?
Food on the table?

Yes? Things look pretty good.

How about these:
Plague ridden gang attacks?
Authoritarian Police state?
Pointless war without end?

No? That's amazing. Things are fucking amazing.

Quote:
Anonymouse posted:

To be honest, I feel rather like Mal did at Serenity Valley

Now *THIS* is snarkworthy.

Oh Really? Someone is shooting at you?

I assume financial assistance for tuition was for immigrants who aren't on the dole. I suspect you can't take the test again, they have your results on computer already. You're a person with an income, you have the dole. This is less than $1000 US. That's pretty cheap. How much is your monthly dole check?

That's what a ship is, you know - it's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs.

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