Things You'll Never Hear on or about Serenity

POSTED BY: Kozure
UPDATED: Thursday, March 16, 2006 20:41
VIEWED: 12038
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KOZURE

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 7:12 PM

[Inspired by a thread I saw in another forum - things that you'd never hear the characters of Firefly or the various people involved in its production say...]

Joss Whedon: "Ah screw it. Let's just make a half-assed, predictable show that'll appeal to the network execs and have tonnes of marketable merchandise."

Mal: "Why sure, I'd love to sign on for the Alliance Navy. Can I turn in some of my former war buddies while I'm at it?"

Zoe: "I don't think I should go on that mission to save the Captain. I might break a nail or something."

Jayne: "Awwww... sure I'll trade Vera in for the Alliance gun amnesty... No, no... I couldn't take the cash reward - knowing that the 'Verse is safer is reward enough."

Kaylee: "Serenity? Piece of gos-se, if you ask me."

Wash: "Guys. Let's get serious here, please. Don't you think this shirt is too loud?"

River: "I'm sick about talking about the future in obscure, oblique references. Doesn't anyone want to take me back to the medlab for some needles or something?"

Simon: "Sure, River, let's get you back to that Academy place."

Lots of other characters to speak for... just because someone has already said something, doesn't mean you can't use that character again.

Kozure the Kamikaze Highlander

Proud Citizen of Canada-That-Was

SGTGUMP

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 7:34 PM

Crow - "Here's my blade baby!"

"You just blew my mind." - Kramer

SGTGUMP

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 7:35 PM

Crow - "Here's my blade baby!"

"You just blew my mind." - Kramer

BRITCHICK

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 7:47 PM

Niska: "No problem, just give me the money back and we'll call it quits"

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EXAMPLE

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 7:57 PM

"Women > Men" - Early

TIGER

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 8:04 PM

Mal: "Ya know, I don't really need all this space. With the money from selling Serenity I could get a nice studio on Persephone. No maintenance, no Reavers... why the hassle of owning your own ship?"

---------------------------------------------
...The beauty of things was born before eyes and sufficient to itself; the heart-breaking beauty
Will remain when there is no heart to break for it.

MANWITHPEZ

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 10:53 PM

Patience: "Sure, I'll pay for anything when I don't have to."

Book: "God who? You know, if Jesus had had better arch support than sandals provide, they wouldn't have caught him. And, the real reason the Alliance patched me up was..."

Inara: "Okay, I admit it...I'm a space whore!"

Wash: "Zoe, I don't like you anymore. So leave! I can find any number of women just as hot and available as you."

Simon: "Kaylee! I love you and I want to jump your mechanic BONES!"

Kaylee: "Book! I'm pregnant and you're the father!"

Zoe: "Does this gun make my ass look too big?"

Jayne: "In fact, I won't be in my bunk. I'll be in the corner reading War and Peace. That, and the Bible. Right after I sell the rest of these Girl Scout Cookies and give the money to charity."

Mal: "Mind if I say Grace? As soon as were done with dinner, I want everyone to stop listening to everything I'm saying, and argue with me at every turn. I like it. Inara, I love you, but I wish I could make it work out with Saffron. Maybe I can find her after we make this drop off for the Alliance..."

And other, more inane things.

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

KOZURE

Thursday, July 22, 2004 2:52 PM

Badger: "This poor woman needs dental care. Give her 1000 credits to get her back on her feet and see that she gets to a homeless shelter."

Harken: "Oh, sure, Captain Reynolds. You can keep that salvage. Thanks for the help with the crazy Reaver guy. In fact, let me clear that Cortex flag for you."

Torturer: "Mr. Niska, I can't do that. That would be in violation of every moral principle I hold."

Gabriel Tam: "Son, you do what you want in life. The journey is what's important... and mind your sister, you hear?"

Patron: "Wow. Maybe we shouldn't be kidnapping people and marrying our sisters out here in the bush. Funny, there's a nice little town just over the hills yonder. Let's go join civilized society."

KATI

Thursday, July 22, 2004 3:15 PM

Blue Hand # 1: I love you.

Blue Hand # 2: I love you too, leave this crazy thing alone - just let us both have fun together, my blue-handed lover!

Time for some thrilling heroics.

CAPTAINHARBATKIN

Thursday, July 22, 2004 3:30 PM

Jayne: Got anything non-lethal? A stungun, or maybe some pepper spray? I wouldn't want to really HURT anyone.

Kaylee: Sure, Jayne, I been lusting after Vera since you let me hold her. I'll throw in a Taser and you give me 2000 rounds of ammo and some shooting lessons. NOTHING is as thrilling as shooting at live targets...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inara: I've decided to become a nun... But before I do, Jayne, I'll be in your bunk...

Jayne: Inara, I'm PROUD of the honor you do me, but, well, I wouldn't feel right about it. I promised I'd be a virgin when I got married. It'd KILL Mom if I broke my sacred word of honor... Just THINKING about it makes me feel so USED...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

River: Blue Sun is hiring! I have a an interview Monday for a secretarial job.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their
clothing - and if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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