Lonely Mal

POSTED BY: beatupplenty
UPDATED: Wednesday, December 15, 2010 15:14
VIEWED: 6590
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BYTEMITE

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 1:52 PM

He got Nandi, then she died, possibly as a cosmic punishment. I think, and I think Mal would concur, that the universe generally hates him.

ECGORDON

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 4:27 PM

Mal is lonely because he chooses not to change his ways to accommodate a relationship. Inara is the same way, and never the twain shall meet.

wo men ren ran zai fei xing.

RUGBUG

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 4:47 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by beatupplenty:
The captain always gets the girls. But I don't recall Mal actually ever getting any. Did he? Did I forget something already?
Beatupplenty

Did Mal ever look for the girls? You can't "get" what you're not looking for.

I never thought Mal was lonely. Alone? yes. Lonely, no. There's a big difference. Nor have I ever thought he was so angry, moody, or hard to live with as the thread on 'could Mal be your captain' (or whatever the title was) seemed to suggest.

In fact, I like him quite a lot. He's loyal, he's funny, he's got a decent moral compass. He takes the right things seriously and can shrug off the rest. He's a man of action, not empty words. He's smart, he's witty. And he's sexy as hell. What's not to like?

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"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

BYTEMITE

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 5:23 PM

Epic dominance issues, insults, and a tendency to punch first.

You really don't think he's angry? That's an unusual perspective...

I for one do consider Mal kind of lonely. He doesn't seem able to let anyone get close. Used to be he let Zoe in, but she got married, and he's reacted to her giving him less attention by withdrawing somewhat. He doesn't seem to listen to her anymore, and Zoe never seems to ask him anything that isn't about business.

MINCINGBEAST

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 6:27 PM

mal is not lonely. he does not need girls. he has the smoldering, hunky nihilism, a spaceship, and a gun. what more does he need? certainly not a certain skank, who is most likely dosed with the space clap.

nope, not lonely at all.

BYTEMITE

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 6:36 PM

XD "Space clap."

I'm going to have to use that now.

Quote:
he has the smoldering, hunky nihilism, a spaceship, and a gun. what more does he need?

A pony, and a toy rocketship just for redundancy.

RUGBUG

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 6:50 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Bytemite:
Epic dominance issues, insults, and a tendency to punch first.

Does someone have dominance issues if they are the captain? It's his ship. He's the leader. He's leading.

Insults? I'm going to have to find the time to watch everything again. I rarely see Mal insulting someone. He does insult Inara once or twice. He tells Zoe he doesn't think she should get married but that's not an insult. Maybe an inappropriate speaking of his mind but not an insult.

I don't think he has a tendency to punch first. There were MANY times when Mal held back from confrontation.

Quote:
Originally posted by Bytemite:
You really don't think he's angry? That's an unusual perspective...

Angry with gov't, disillusioned? Absolutely. An angry person? No. That's a big difference. Angry people are miserable and repel everyone. Mal doesn't repel people. In fact, he inspires incredible loyalty.

Quote:
Originally posted by Bytemite:
I for one do consider Mal kind of lonely. He doesn't seem able to let anyone get close. Used to be he let Zoe in, but she got married, and he's reacted to her giving him less attention by withdrawing somewhat. He doesn't seem to listen to her anymore, and Zoe never seems to ask him anything that isn't about business.

Being a leader is a lonely job, I'll give you that. Mal has to be a little set-apart just to be the captain. But I don't see him being closed off to everyone. He's not a needy man by any means...which a lot of people interpret as closed-off, but I see it as being a leader.

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"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

BYTEMITE

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 8:04 PM

I think I agree with you mostly, but there's a few points of contention here.

As I said, I do think Mal is angry, and quite bitter, and not just about the war, though that has a large part of it (in the form of possible PTSD and PTSD-related depression).

That's not to say he doesn't manage his anger well, his ability to suppress his frustration in a bad situation is remarkable, heroic even. But you can't look at the undertones of his reactions and tell me he doesn't get frustrated easily.

And not just bad situations, but strange, silly situations, and sometimes even within the course of a normal conversation. If someone is talking to him or pushing him on a point, he quickly gets tired of it. And if someone tries to pry into the things he keeps closed off (which he does do, no arguments here), he gets very defensive.

I think Mal attracts people despite his anger. And it doesn't always work, Mal has plenty of enemies and plenty of people who his apparent charms fail to move.

I'm also not entirely sure he isn't needy... Certainly, he doesn't EXPRESS anything like that, but I think we have a ship (represents need: home) with eight other people who all represent something Mal NEEDS. It's all bound up in emotions and relationships, but I don't think any of us can't argue that Mal doesn't need his crew at this point in his life. He's lost in the woods and drifting, and I think he's still very much hurting after his losses.

STORYMARK

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 9:05 PM

Wash aside, I don't recall any of the guys on Serenity gettin' all that much.

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."

RUGBUG

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 9:53 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Bytemite:
As I said, I do think Mal is angry, and quite bitter, and not just about the war, though that has a large part of it (in the form of possible PTSD and PTSD-related depression).

What, other than the war, do you think he's bitter about?

Quote:
Originally posted by Bytemite:

That's not to say he doesn't manage his anger well, his ability to suppress his frustration in a bad situation is remarkable, heroic even. But you can't look at the undertones of his reactions and tell me he doesn't get frustrated easily.

And not just bad situations, but strange, silly situations, and sometimes even within the course of a normal conversation. If someone is talking to him or pushing him on a point, he quickly gets tired of it. And if someone tries to pry into the things he keeps closed off (which he does do, no arguments here), he gets very defensive.

Sure, but IMO, what's important is how you control/express your anger, not whether you have it or not. If he was ridiculous and flew off the handle, then something is wrong. But I just don't see that.

And I see nothing wrong with being a private person. Just because someone isn't a spill your guts type, doesn't mean they are closed off. Zoe knows Mal. KNOWS him. And she understands his boundaries, respects them and works within them. It's when people don't respect the boundaries that Mal pushes back.

BTW, the say one predictor of relationship longevity is a similar level of self disclosure. The "sharers" do best with other "sharers" and the same for the "non-sharers." Mal is a non-sharer (as am I...so maybe I relate? ;)) Please note, there is no judgment in "sharer" vs. "non-sharer" as there is with "closed-off".

Quote:
Originally posted by Bytemite:
I think Mal attracts people despite his anger. And it doesn't always work, Mal has plenty of enemies and plenty of people who his apparent charms fail to move.

Having enemies isn't a sign of an angry person...just a controversial one, one that doesn't feel the need to please others. That's a good thing, IMO. I have plenty of people who don't like me. That's (usually) their problem, not mine. I try to be respectful and a decent human being, but I don't feel the need to have people like me. The ones who will, do. The others, won't. Now if I'm doing something awful, that's another thing. I don't think Mal is ever an awful person. Sure he is occasionally insensitive, and sometimes lashes out, but who amoung us doesn't?

Quote:
Originally posted by Bytemite:
I'm also not entirely sure he isn't needy... Certainly, he doesn't EXPRESS anything like that, but I think we have a ship (represents need: home) with eight other people who all represent something Mal NEEDS. It's all bound up in emotions and relationships, but I don't think any of us can't argue that Mal doesn't need his crew at this point in his life. He's lost in the woods and drifting, and I think he's still very much hurting after his losses.

Oh yeah...Mal needs his crew a.k.a. his family. But when I say "needy" I mean constant reassurance, constant approval, group consensus. Mal is secure in who he is, what he believes, and doesn't need to define himself by another person or their approval.

Interesting conversation. It's so easy for me to get caught up in my own interpretations of stories, character, etc and assume others feel the same way when that just isn't the case. I do like to hear other ideas, even if it makes me scratch my head. :D

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"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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