Cheney Suffers Heart Attack Number Five
POSTED BY: Kwicko
UPDATED: Saturday, February 27, 2010 20:31
VIEWED: 13799
PAGE 1 of 13
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/booster_shots/2010/02/more-about-chene
ys-heart-attack-how-many-can-one-person-have.html
Fingers crossed... fingers crossed...
Mike
Work is the curse of the Drinking Class.
- Oscar Wilde
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Wouldn't wish that on anyone...any warm-blooded ANIMAL, regardless of species, anyway. But that wouldn't apply, would it? There's a certain temptation in this case...
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Wasn't there an Angel episode titled "The Cautionary Tale of Number Cinco"? Cautionary, indeed.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/booster_shots/2010/02/more-about-chene
ys-heart-attack-how-many-can-one-person-have.html
Fingers crossed... fingers crossed...
Mike
Work is the curse of the Drinking Class.
- Oscar Wilde
I on the other hand wish him a long and pain filled life,
If it can't be in a six by six cell
then paralyzed, unable to speak, staring at the ceiling with cold drool running out of its mouth might be fitting.
Perhaps W. will be busted driving while coked up, and could be sentenced to community service changing its diapers and giving it sponge baths...
If justice doesn't exist, perhaps Karma will create some balance
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Did you know that while some near-death-experience people report light and peace, many report pain and evil ? I wonder which Cheney will have ?
"I classify NDEs according to the general category as: positive or negative. It is my opinion, that people who are primarily motivated by positive influences (such as love, joy, and peace) generally have positive NDEs. People who are primarily motivated by negative influences (such as hatred, anger, and fear) generally have negative NDEs. There are a many exceptions to this, but I am confident that such a categorization is sufficient.
Positive NDEs have similar aspects. A typical example involves an out-of-body (OBE) experience followed by traveling through a tunnel toward a very bright light. At the end of the tunnel, deceased loved ones or "Beings of Light" often appear. Sometimes, one particular "Being of Light" is identified either as God, Jesus or other religious figures, an angel, or even their own "Higher Self." This being induces them into a life review in which their entire life can be instantaneously observed. Afterwards, the experiencer reaches a boundary of some kind which they cannot cross. Here, they may be given a choice of returning to physical existence or progressing into the afterlife. They are often told, "It is not yet your time to die" or, "Your mission is not yet completed."
Negative experiences also have features that are similar. These kinds of experiences often involve people finding themselves in some hellish condition, sometimes corresponding to an object of interest such as a physical addiction, a sexual obsession, a person still living, or some negative influence. Negative experiences are often rescued by a higher spiritual Being of Light, sometimes by a loved one or sometimes by a religious figure. Once rescued, they are shown their entire life in review. They are then given the same choice as those who have positive experiences: to either stay or return. Many negative experiences often end up transforming into positive ones, which strongly suggests these negative states of consciousness are temporary and not permanent."
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Silence is consent.
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Quote:
Did you know that while some near-death-experience people report light and peace, many report pain and evil ? I wonder which Cheney will have ?
I wonder if he'd even know the difference. For him, pain and evil might BE light and peace!
Mike
Work is the curse of the Drinking Class.
- Oscar Wilde
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People. What Cheney deserves, he's earned & will receive. No need to, umm..
sorry, my Buddhist bent is vacating me momentarily...
*choke*
The laughing Chrisisall
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http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30709
Cheney Returns To Camp Crystal Lake
CRYSTAL LAKE, NJ—Reports of a shadowy figure in the woods and heavy breathing heard in the night, coupled with a recent series of grisly murders, have generated rumors that U.S. Vice-President Dick Cheney has returned to terrorize the counselors at Camp Crystal Lake, sources reported Friday.
"I knew it'd been too quiet around here," camp caretaker Ephram Magritte, 67, said between sips from his flask. "Things were just starting to get back to normal. Then that carload of kids had to go have a drinking party at the lake last Friday. When two of them went missing, people started up again, saying Cheney was back. We don't need that kind of talk. Stirs up trouble. Scares off customers."
Four hours later, Magritte was found hanging from a tree, his brass-handled cane protruding from his eye socket.
Although some locals say the deaths prove that Cheney has returned to Camp Crystal Lake, most residents remain skeptical.
"Dick Cheney? No, sir, Dick Cheney is dead," general-store owner Doug Leffert said as he packed groceries into a box. "Last person to see Cheney alive was Tommy Williams, the feller that killed him. Yeah, blew him up. Knocked him down with a propane tank and shot it. Heck of an explosion. Burned down the mess hall, too. All anyone found left of Cheney was his eyeglasses."
"Tommy was never the same after," Leffert added. "Been in an insane asylum up around Newton ever since."
According to camp counselor Jenny Marlatt, not every Crystal Lake murder was committed by Cheney.
"We all thought Cheney had returned last year," Marlatt said before pausing to inhale marijuana smoke from a soda-can pipe. "A bunch of people wound up getting murdered. But the killer turned out to be the brother of one of Cheney's victims. He put on some Cheney glasses and started killing people he thought should've kept a better eye on his brother."
More recently, Cheney's mother slaughtered nine people under the guise of her son before she was finally slain.
"Nah, Cheney hasn't been around for years," Marlatt said. "He's just a story mothers tell their children to get them to clean their plates."
Hours after Marlatt spoke to the press, her body was discovered hanging from the rafters in the camp's auditorium, her soda-can pipe jammed into her mouth.
Camp cook Henry Jones said that, while most of Cheney's homicides took place at Camp Crystal Lake and its immediate vicinity, the maniac has, on occasion, left the bucolic setting to stalk teens and police officers from other cities and towns.
"Remember when Cheney went to New York City?" Jones said Saturday. "They say he stowed away on a cruise ship of teenagers taking a graduation-night voyage around Manhattan Island. He killed almost everyone on board, then went ashore. Yes, sir, Cheney is back, all right—only this time, I know exactly how to stop him."
Enlarge Image Cheney Returns To Camp Crystal Lake jump 2
Cheney's glasses, as found in the woods near Camp Crystal Lake.
Those were among Jones' last words, as he was decapitated Sunday. His girlfriend, Jessica Clark, reported that a shadowy figure beheaded him with a machete while the couple kissed behind the camp's kitchen, shortly after she had removed her shirt.
Although nearly 100 Camp Crystal Lake staff members and visitors have been murdered in the last 25 years, experts report that the town is ill-prepared for the return of Cheney.
"Cheney is an unstoppable killing machine," CNN's Anderson Cooper said via telephone. "He has been burned, stabbed, slashed, hacked, bludgeoned, and shot, only to get back up and continue his rampage. But when the town's self-absorbed teens try to explain that something is wrong, very wrong, their calls for help fall on deaf ears. There needs to be some accountability on the part of—oh, God! He's here!"
Cooper, who then dropped the telephone, has not been heard from since.
As they continue to investigate the recent murders, police have urged locals to stay in their heav
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Either you Are with the terrorists, or ... you Are with the terrorists 
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers.
What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"
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