Tiger's Sponsors Make Subtle Changes

POSTED BY: Riverlove
UPDATED: Monday, September 29, 2025 19:05
VIEWED: 2284
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RIVERLOVE

Tuesday, December 8, 2009 12:24 PM

As of yesterday the Tiger "count" stood at 10. His major sponsors have announced they will continue to have him as their spokesperson, however due to recent events some minor changes to the sales pitch will be forthcoming when the "new" Tiger ads hit the airwaves in January:

NIKE
Just do it!... Just get rid of your Blackberry first!

GATORADE
Is it in you? ...No? Call Tiger, he will put it in you!

GILLETTE
The best a man can get!... One clean shave and you'll be in skank heaven.

ACCENTURE
Unleash the Tiger in you!...Relax, we'll manage your money, so you can bang all the bimbos in the world.

BUICK
Drive to perfection!...Unless it's on your own property, and you've got a golf club wrapped around your head.

IF Tiger does indeed come back to the Tour in January, & IF the sponsors stay with him, how could anyone watching not be thinking along the lines expressed above? I think it's 50-50 that either will occur.

TIGER’S BEVY OF BOOTYS:

1.) Rachel Uchitel. The club hostess was the first of the women to be linked to Woods after the National Enquirer reported that she traveled to Australia to be with Woods during a golf tournament there. So far, she has denied the affair.

2.) Jamie Grubbs. The 24-year-old reality show contestant and cocktail waitress claims she carried on a 31-month-long affair with Woods until his crash last month. She offered a Woods voicemail to prove it.

3.) Kalika Moquin. The 27-year-old club manager from Las Vegas is reported to have had a brief sexual relationship with Woods. She would neither confirm nor deny the report.

4.) Cori Rist. The 31-year-old swimsuit model reportedly met Woods at a Manhattan club last year before they began a sexual relationship that led to Woods flying her out to various secret locations for hook-ups, and her introducing the golfer to her 7-year-old son.

5.) Jamie Jungers. The 26-year-old, who sold her story to a British newspaper, is a former employee of Trashy Girls Lingerie. She said she met Woods in Las Vegas.

6.) Mindy Lawton. The 33-year-old pancake house waitress from Orlando claims she was dumped by Woods in 2007. According to the Post, it was her affair with Woods that was caught on camera by the National Enquirer, when he was snapped dropping her off at her trailer park. The threatening news later led to a Woods Men’s Fitness cover in exchange for the magazine’s silence about the alleged affair, the New York Post reports.

7.) Holly Sampson. The 36-year-old from Los Angeles is a former porn star, who has starred in such films as “OMG, Stop Tickling Me” and “Flying Solo 2.” According to the Sun, she has neither confirmed nor denied her affair with Woods.

8.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 8. A former cocktail waitress from Orlando, Fla. does want to reveal her identity yet, according to her attorney Michael O’Quinn. But this she has said: at the time the affair allegedly began, she was 20 years old and met Woods at the Roxy in Orlando, where she was a VIP server.

9.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 9 is reported to be a “sexy” British TV presenter who was single at the time, but is now married.

10.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 10. is reported in a UK paper to be a “sex-addicted cougar.”

PIZMOBEACH

Tuesday, December 8, 2009 12:36 PM

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/12/08/tiger.woods.paramedics/index.html

Scifi movie music + Firefly dialogue clips, 24 hours a day - http://www.scifiradio.com

JAYNEZTOWN

Tuesday, December 8, 2009 1:24 PM

media coverage around his house 24/7

PIZMOBEACH

Tuesday, December 8, 2009 2:14 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by JaynezTown:
media coverage around his house 24/7

Especially at 2:30 am - that's like the witching hour.

Scifi movie music + Firefly dialogue clips, 24 hours a day - http://www.scifiradio.com

KWICKO

Tuesday, December 8, 2009 2:50 PM

Can you imagine the celebration when he finally dies? It's what everyone seems to be hoping for.

PIZMOBEACH

Tuesday, December 8, 2009 3:01 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
Can you imagine the celebration when he finally dies? It's what everyone seems to be hoping for.

Maybe early tomorrow morning, say around 2:30...

Dead? Huh? I'm not picking up on that vibe fwiw, but I'm not watching it that closely - honest. It feels more like people celebrating watching the mighty fall - but that's not so new. Dude is in a serious spiral though, what a mess.

Scifi movie music + Firefly dialogue clips, 24 hours a day - http://www.scifiradio.com

JONGSSTRAW

Tuesday, December 8, 2009 4:14 PM

I'm not sure what to think about this anymore. The story gets more bizarre and explosive every day. I really never thought of golfers as the types to commit these brazen acts of infidelity, what with the checkered pants and all.