Imponderables: Seasonal Visitors

POSTED BY: nvghostrider
UPDATED: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 07:25
VIEWED: 14200
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RUGBUG

Thursday, October 1, 2009 4:27 PM

We went from upper 80s to lower 70s almost overnight. It was like 'it's still summer' one day and 'oh crap, it's fall' the next.

Today is suppose to be nice (mid 80s) but will drop again tomorrow or the next day.

With fall comes wind. I HATE the wind. Trying to knock my little Vinnie down while going 45 is NOT nice.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

MSA

Thursday, October 1, 2009 6:48 PM

Oh the wind... we've got similar issues Rugbug and I swear some days those gusts nearly send me airborn ( even as huge as I am)

It's definitely cool like fall, but I refuse to get my hopes up because Nevada can turn on you in a second and jump right back to summer... it's kinda like a drunken mother nature sort of swaving about it's summer.. no fall..summer.. fallwinter...

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

ZEEK

Thursday, October 1, 2009 7:12 PM

OK here's a ponder I'm discussing with a friend. What's the range of time where "I love you" should start to be said? Is there a "too soon", "too late" and "juuuuuuust right"? For the sake of the discussion we'll say that these are two people who met and started dating right away. Which clears up some of the "well if you've known the person for a year before dating..." type of exceptions.

FREELANCERTEX

Thursday, October 1, 2009 7:20 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug: We went from upper 80s to lower 70s almost overnight. It was like 'it's still summer' one day and 'oh crap, it's fall' the next.

oh pooooor you. I'll trade. :P

*fingers freeze off because for some reason the AC in this school is still running, regardless of the fact that it's only in the mid-50s outside*

HELL'S KITTEN

Thursday, October 1, 2009 7:46 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
OK here's a ponder I'm discussing with a friend. What's the range of time where "I love you" should start to be said? Is there a "too soon", "too late" and "juuuuuuust right"?

Huh. Oddly enough, I was thinking about something along these lines last night. Unfortunately, with me, there's no easy answer.

When to say it - when you actually feel it. But from my perspective, that's sort of irrelevant when talking about timing. It's the recipient who determines whether it was too soon or too late, and each recipient is going to be different. So, when do *you* want to hear it?

My line of thinking was this: If someone easily, quickly, and frequently falls in love, does their love mean less than someone who may only fall in love once in their life? Guess that's my analytical robot side applying supply / demand scenario to your crazy hooman emotions.

ZEEK

Thursday, October 1, 2009 8:18 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:
My line of thinking was this: If someone easily, quickly, and frequently falls in love, does their love mean less than someone who may only fall in love once in their life? Guess that's my analytical robot side applying supply / demand scenario to your crazy hooman emotions.

I would say it depends on the length of "quickly". To me if a person says it before they actually know their partner then it doesn't mean anything. I clearly don't believe in love at first sight. You can't love someone unless you know who that person is. So, then I guess the question is how long does it take to get to know someone. Maybe I should say, "how well do you need to know someone to love them". The other side of that coin is that you have to balance that it make take a long time to truly know someone. People have a right to know if a relationship is going somewhere.

Anyway, the answer I came up with is somewhere between 1 and 2 years. If you're saying "I love you" before a year of knowing someone then I say it's an illusion. If you still haven't said it after 2 years then you probably aren't in love.

MSA

Thursday, October 1, 2009 8:29 PM

I don't think there's a hard and fast say I love you after this period of time, but I do think you should know the person extremely well first. And by extremely well I mean you should know how they feel about who they are, how they became who they are, how they feel about their family, what they need to be content in a relationship, where they seem themselves in the future, how they handle frustration, disappointment, anger, joy, etc, and how they complement and add to you as a person.

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

RUGBUG

Thursday, October 1, 2009 8:31 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
Anyway, the answer I came up with is somewhere between 1 and 2 years. If you're saying "I love you" before a year of knowing someone then I say it's an illusion. If you still haven't said it after 2 years then you probably aren't in love.

I think your answer may be right for YOU, but it isn't right for every person. You may not be ready to hear that someone loves you before a year, but that doesn't mean someone else isn't...or that they're relationship is an illusion.

As I've gotten older, I've realized that I could date/fall-in-love/marry on a much quicker scale than when I was younger. I use to be of the mind that four years of dating was about right. Now, if it was the right person, a few months might cut it.

This could because I know myself better, I know what I want, what I don't want. I'm no longer willing to right-off huge character flaws because 'he's hawt' or whatever. And I can more easily see what those flaws are without spending years getting to know someone.

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
I don't think there's a hard and fast say I love you after this period of time, but I do think you should know the person extremely well first. And by extremely well I mean you should know how they feel about who they are, how they became who they are, how they feel about their family, what they need to be content in a relationship, where they seem themselves in the future, how they handle frustration, disappointment, anger, joy, etc, and how they complement and add to you as a person.

For me, that list would be if I was going to marry someone. I think you can be in love with someone and still know that taking a crack at forever is a bad idea.

Should you say you love someone even if you don't think 'forever' is a good idea? Sure.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

FREELANCERTEX

Thursday, October 1, 2009 8:32 PM

Don't disagree on any particular point with HK. Say it when you feel like it, when you really feel you can say it. It's on the recipient whether or not the timing is appropriate.

Along your line of thinking though, HK, I don't think it means less if it's coming from someone who falls in love frequently, they just have more love to give, and have more than one person they feel right giving it to. they just need someone who loves them back just as much, and not everyone finds him/her on the first time out. least that's my sentimental hooman view.

ZEEK

Thursday, October 1, 2009 8:51 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
I don't think there's a hard and fast say I love you after this period of time, but I do think you should know the person extremely well first. And by extremely well I mean you should know how they feel about who they are, how they became who they are, how they feel about their family, what they need to be content in a relationship, where they seem themselves in the future, how they handle frustration, disappointment, anger, joy, etc, and how they complement and add to you as a person.

For me, that list would be if I was going to marry someone. I think you can be in love with someone and still know that taking a crack at forever is a bad idea.

Should you say you love someone even if you don't think 'forever' is a good idea? Sure.

I don't know. I'm with MsA on you need to know those things. Otherwise what is really the basis of that love? If I say I love someone shouldn't I love that person as a whole? Is it ok to be in love with just a sliver of a person cause that's all you know about them? To me if you don't really know the person then the love is an illusion.

One thing my friend brought is up is whether it's hurtful to not say it after a certain amount of time? I thought "yes" at first but thinking it over some more then it's almost saying that a person has to say it before they're personally ready. That's not fair either.

Quick Edit: originally I lumped a little too much into that "I agree with MsA" part. I don't wanna put words into her mouth.

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